Huh? Snort! What?!?

Last Saturday Donna and I went over to the annual Book Fair put on by the local AAUW. In years past this was one of our main suppliers of cheap reads, but now that we both have been Kindlized(TM) we still go to hunt for a gem or two and a few books for the nieces and nephew in Washington state.

For as long as we can remember they have found a local space that at one time was a large open retail shopping place. This year they couldn’t find something like that so they settled for a three story office building that used to be the home of a Bomb Plant sub-contractor. All the office cubical walls were still standing in the four large rooms on each floor and they had printed maps directing shoppers to which cubicals housed which category of books. I was both awkwarder and easier than the typical one large room with straight rows of tables.

They were only allowed to set up on the first and third floors, so the button for the second floor was taped over. They had also deactivated it, so when the curious among us pressed it, the elevator would just pass right by on the way up or down. This led to speculation as to just what was left behind on the the 2nd floor. A couple of lead lined boxes with nuclear waste, where the original paper X-Files were moved after they where closed down or alien artifacts previously held in Area 51. More likely though it was all the phones, chairs, chair mats, pencils, pencil sharpeners, desk lamps, etc. left behind from floors numbers 1 & 3.

Donna picked out a few books to send off to the west coast and I, for a total change of pace, picked out a couple of audio books. One was a book I remember hearing about a decade or so earlier and wanted to read, but never did, The Art of Racing in the Rain and the other was a book I did read about a couple of decades ago, The Trials of Rumpole1.

I have talked to people who swear by audio books while driving long distances, but I can’t do it. I would be listening to the first chapter and the next thing I knew we were in the middle of chapter three and I couldn’t tell you what happened. Maybe it is because I like like to pay attention to the driving part of the trip, unlike them. My plan for these was to just sit back on the couch, close my eyes and enjoy someone reading to me. I started listening to chapter one of The Art of Racing in the Rain and the next thing I knew was I was in chapter three with no recollection on how I got there. I must have reverted to my 6-year old self and fell asleep while being read to. So much for that. I wonder how much the two audio books would go for on eBay?

What Time Is It?

I don’t remember exactly when, probably sometime around 12 or 13-years old, I decided I wanted to be more grown up. So I asked for a watch for Christmas. It was probably a cheap Timex wind-up one with a plastic band that looked a lot like the one on this Etsy page, but cost about one tenth what that person is selling that one for. The plastic band broke after about a year and I replaced it with a leather one and I probably wore that watch until I was 18 and joined the Navy.

Within the first few days of boot camp you are issued your uniforms. You then are taken to the PX where they gave you a very specific list of items to buy, a Gillette Safety Razor, one ten pack of blades for the razor, one 6 ounce tube of Crest toothpaste, etc. When you checked out, the total cost of what you bought was recorded and that money came out of your first paycheck. You then boxed up everything you came through the gates with, in a box and mailed it home, including your watch.

One of the items on that PX list was a specific watch, probably a cheap Timex similar to what I already had. Because the military has to run like a finely tuned machine its members have to be at certain places at certain times, the watch was required. If you never wore a watch before, too bad, you were going to be wearing one now. So I wore various watches for the next ten years while a member of Uncle Sam’s Yacht Club.

When I left the Navy I stopped wearing a watch. Partially to free myself from that very structured life and partially because there are clocks everywhere anyway, in the car radio, on the walls and, if you could program a VCR, right there near your TV. Bill Gates put one in the lower left of your computer screen and now your smart phone is always at hand, so who wears a watch anymore?

No matter, when you retire from ASCO (at least as a salaried employee) they are going to give you the traditional gift of a watch. When Donna retired last year she tried to get out of it, she doesn’t wear a watch either, she said donate the money to a charity or something. No dice. You get a catalog with about 10 or 15 styles of watches to choose and they engrave the back with your name and years of service. With the help of the HR Benefits person they picked out the most expensive ladies watch for her because she was going to sell it and donate the money to a charity. We have even gone so far as taking the watch to a local jewelers and for ten bucks had him buff off the engraving of her name. We have yet to sell it though.

When my time came to pick out a watch I looked at all the options and picked out one that I would actually wear. My thoughts were, the company was making a nice gesture, so maybe I would start wearing a watch again, look more grown up. On Saturday I pulled it out of the box, read the instructions on to set it and strapped it to my wrist. Man, it is a nice looking watch. But it feels weird down there at the end of my arm. Plus the band is a little loose letting the watch move around, so invariably the face it is always where I have to twist my wrist an extra bit to see it. I pull the strap tighter to get to the next hole on the strap. Now it is too tight, my hand will probably go numb after a few minutes.

At this point I remember the real reason I stopped wearing a watch once I left the Navy, I could never get one to fit right. Leather bands with holes (even adding an intermediate one in between existing holes), metal bands with butterfly clasps, whatever the closure method they were always either too loose or too tight. I bet I could still make this work, poke an intermediate hole, wear it every day for a couple weeks until I got used to it, but my heart really isn’t into it. I really don’t need a watch, I’m retired. Besides, remember smart phone, computer screen, car radio, wall clock, etc. I guess I’ll go get the back engraving buffed off and put a pair of his & hers watches for sale up on eBay.

Mr. Meniere Makes A Visit

Sunday morning I woke up at 5:30. I was lying on my side facing the alarm clock and when I opened my eyes the image I saw spun quickly up and repeated and repeated and repeated…so I blinked a couple times, but it wouldn’t stop. I closed my eyes and decided that maybe if I rolled onto my back that would help. Trouble came about when I started to roll over I opened my eyes! I can only equate the visuals to what I imagine is a portion of a potent LSD trip. Once on my back the ceiling fan was scanning across my vision rapidly from left to right.

I closed my eyes and lay there for a few minutes contemplating. I knew what it was, it was the one symptom of Meniere’s Disease that I hadn’t suffered from back in September — vertigo. With experimentation I found that I could make it stop by jamming my eyeballs all the way to the right (direction everything was spinning.) I then woke Donna and told her what was happening. She wanted to know what we should do and I told her the first thing was I needed to go to the bathroom. Using a combination of eyes closed, eyes opened hard to the right and her supporting me, mission accomplished.

It was still early, so I suggested let’s go back to bed and see where we are when we next wake up. I woke up again at 7:30 and I was lying on my side facing the alarm clock. When I opened my eyes the image was perfectly still. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, normal. I closed them for a minute or so and opened back up to the return of ordinary. There hasn’t been a return of the dizziness since.

I’ve given up caffeine as the doctor suggested, so was it the small coffee in the morning and the 20oz. Dr. Pepper in the evening on Saturday? Was it the 300 mile road trip, more than half of it with the top down that brought it on? The pizza in Milledgeville? The glass of wine with dinner? Not getting a lot of sleep two nights before? Watching the synchronized drones of the Olympic’s Closing Ceremony?

61,000 Water Droplets Per Cubic Foot


I bet you didn’t know that once a year I volunteer to help out at the Georgia Sports Hall of Fame in Macon, Georgia. Every time I go I get a different job and today it was valet parking little sports cars on the sidewalk out front. That’s me above after successfully completing parking the first wave of cars.

OK, that’s really not the truth, I’ve never volunteered there and as a matter of fact, I’ve never visited there until today. And even now I haven’t ever really visited because I never went inside the building. This was our meeting point for 4 other Moss Motoring Challengers because a gaggle of 5 or more of us would be worth 10 big points.

The first 4 arrivals were parked in a tight group of spots right up front, but there wasn’t another one open near us. While we were waiting on the final participant to join us someone wondered out loud what the most of the rest of us were thinking, “Maybe we could line our cars up right on the wide sidewalk entrance way.” Then someone else piped in with that eternal truism, “it is always easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission.” A plan was born.

When car #5 arrived we briefed them on the plan, and we all backed into position. Everyone jumped out to line up their photographs while I just waited by the car. I started to wonder what was taking so long, so I started to go see, and that is when Donna took snapped the photo.

Afterwards the team from Atlanta had worked out a few places that were right there in Macon for us to drive to, to get some more Challenge points. All and all, with the Grand Opening sign we discovered on the way down, today’s 300 mile road trip was worth 27 points.

On the way down to Macon to score major Moss Motoring points, the Car To Be Named Later passed the 61,000 mile mark in a thick fog just outside the community of Grange, Georgia.

Employee Profile Validation

Emerson, the large business organization that the Valve Store is part of, has an electronic directory of employees covering the entire corporation. It is each person’s responsibility to keep it updated, if you get a new boss, move to another department, changed job titles, etc.

A few years back, tiring of it not being 100% accurate, they implemented a policy where if you don’t update it they would start withholding services. First no internet, then intranet, then emails and after that they close and delete your account. It used to have to be done quarterly, but about a year ago, they decided to start doing it monthly. Not a big deal if nothing has changed, you get an email, you click on the link and click the big green Update button.

I received my email this morning telling me it was time to update my employee profile. As usual nothing has changed in a month. I’ve probably made less than a dozen changes on this page…ever. I have worked for 6, maybe 8, different direct supervisors and my job title has only changed three times in the 28 years I’ve been here. It started as Draftsman, then changed to Design Draftsman and then to its now current Design Draftsman/CNC Programmer.

Last month, because I’m sort of a smart ass, I thought I would change my Job Title to Retiree in Training. But I decided against it considering I work for a corporation and those sorts of entities don’t typically have a sense of humor. Well, this month I couldn’t stop myself, I went ahead and typed in Retiree in Training and clicked the Update button. I half expected it to not let me, but it did. I wonder if anybody will notice?

It Was A Banner Day At ASCO

Back in January when I designed my very own retirement banner, because I’m the only person making banners, I cheekily added the words “making”, “last” and “banner” in a smaller text so that it read “Congratulations Brian On (making) Your (last) Retirement (banner.) Well, as it turns out, not only was it not my last retirement banner, it was not even my next to last, but my 3rd last. I printed mine out on the Monday before last and the very next day HR asked to make one for somebody on 3rd shift whose last day is the same as mine, March 2nd.

Once my banner was put in the company cafeteria for people to sign, the word was out, and people started to show up with requests for banners that would be needed after I’m gone. I made 4 birthday banners last week, one for each person in a department. One for someone who was actually celebrating her birthday, but the other three were for later. They asked me to have them just say “Happy Birthday So and So” and they would save them and put them up every year.

Today was a banner day at the Valve Store, my work load had slacked off a bit, so I decided to work on knocking out the 7 requests I had collected over the last few days. First up was another retirement banner, next was a birthday banner for the same person. Next I did a birthday one for someone’s granddaughter and a birthday one for that very same someone. Then I had a pair of aunts and another person’s uncle. I rolled up the last banner just as the bell rung signifying the end on my work day. Only seven more to go, working days, not banners, but who knows have many more requests I’ll get between now and next Friday.

5 More Pairs of Glasses from Warby Parker

If you hover over the images of the glasses you will see a photo of them planted on my ugly mug. Donna took the pictures yesterday while we were on the screened porch (it was kind of overcast.) That and whatever the camera does make the frames look darker than they are in real life. The frame colors more closely match Warby Parker’s online images, but those studio photos are then again slightly lighter and brighter than they appear in person.

The sixth pair shown are my current glasses and is on the upper right. From there, I have ranked them in descending order from 1 to 5 moving right, down, then to the right again. Current plan is to go to Specs on Monday afternoon to compare the top two against the two they have put aside for me. But if you are placing bets in Vegas, both the Hudson and the Split-C are at even money.