Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

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Miles Per Gallon

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Big Words

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.
The first lit­tle boy says, “Alli­ga­tor.“
“Very good, that’s a big word.“
The sec­ond boy says, “Preda­tor.“
“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.“
The third boy says, “Vibra­tor, Miss.“
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat any­thing.“
“Well my sis­ter has one and she says it eats bat­ter­ies like there’s no tomorrow!

4 8 15 16 23 42 Part IV

Donna and I have always par­tic­i­pated in two sep­a­rate Early Retire­ment Pro­grams to aug­ment our 401k’s and etc. We spend a buck a draw or $2 a week on both the Power­ball Lot­tery in South Car­olina and the Mega Mil­lions in Georgia.

Towards the end of last year South Car­olina announced that they would be adding the Mega Mil­lions to their line up. We rejoiced, no more dri­ving “all the way over” to Geor­gia every 5 weeks to buy those chances at early relo­ca­tion to a New Mex­ico life of lux­ury. When they announced the date of the first draw­ing I knew what had to be done. Tick­ets went on sale Sun­day, Jan­u­ary 31st and the first pos­si­ble Mega Mil­lion win­ner with a ticket pur­chased in South Car­olina would by drawn on Feb­ru­ary 2nd, the very same day that the first episode of the final sea­son of TDTVS would be shown.

If I win I won­der how many LOST fans I’ll have to share the $12 mil­lion with?

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What Just Happened?

The answer to last nights question,“If I win I won­der how many LOST fans I’ll have to share the $12 mil­lion with?” is none. I played the famous num­bers, 4 8 15 16 23 42 and breath­lessly after the sea­son pre­mier of TDTVS for the Mega Mil­lions draw­ing. The num­bers picked? 6 7 26 27 49 9

We have had flash­backs as a story telling device on LOST, then flash­for­wards, then time travel and now this sea­son, for want of a bet­ter term, flash­side­ways. We have two, two shows in one, as one part of the story telling takes place right before the the Oceanic 815’s crash and con­tin­ues on as if Juliet’s 1977 det­o­nat­ing of Jug­head actu­ally pre­vented the crash in 2004. The other part now con­cerns our pro­tag­o­nists cat­a­pulted into 2007 and still on the island. Which one is real? Some­time in sea­son two I stopped try­ing to apply the­o­ries or fig­ure exactly what is going on, I am now just along for the ride.

I am a big fan of the show, but nowhere near the level of some folks. There is scene in the non-crash alter­na­tive real­ity where Desmond sits in a seat in the same row as Jack and they have a whole do I know you deja vu con­ver­sa­tion, they didn’t. Desmond is hold­ing book. A per­son left a com­ment on site where some­one had live blogged the show (this is just part of the comment:

The book Des was read­ing on the plane was Haroun and the Sea of Sto­ries by Salman Rushdie.

From Wiki:

Haroun and the Sea of Sto­ries is a 1990 children’s book[1] by Salman Rushdie. It was Rushdie’s first novel after The Satanic Verses. It is a phan­tas­magor­i­cal story set in a city so old and ruinous that it has for­got­ten its name.[2]”

The book includes the fol­low­ing things:

- an ancient city so old that peo­ple for­got it existed
– a war between the rulers of that ancient city
– a main char­ac­ter who is rep­re­sented by two sides of him­self: an “anthro­po­mor­phic shadow” and a “dimin­ished man“
– a “poi­soned ocean” caused by above man’s split­ting of him­self into two parts
– a poten­tial mutiny of one of the war­ring tribes led by a man who isn’t the leader
– the anthro­po­mor­phic shadow has the abil­ity to “appear iden­ti­cal” to some of the peo­ple in the city
– a plan to destroy the ocean using “com­pli­cated machines pow­ered by elec­tro­mag­netic induc­tion“
– the Big Bad is killed at the end after his ice palace melts and his giant statue falls on him
– “a land­scape whose weather changes to reflect the emo­tions of the peo­ple cur­rently present in it“
– the two tribes are kept apart “by a force field named Chattergy’s Wall“
– “At the South Pole of Kahani is a spring known as the Source of Sto­ries, from which (accord­ing to the premise of the plot) orig­i­nated all sto­ries ever com­mu­ni­cated. The pre­ven­tion of this spring’s block­age there­fore forms the cli­max of the novel’s own story.”

Holy shit, that’s a ton of par­al­lels to LOST.

Are the writ­ers and pro­duc­ers that smart to find books that par­al­lel their story or are they just plagiarizing?

Sayid, who has been lay­ing bleed­ing, near death, since last sea­son, spent his island time lay­ing with his head in Hurley’s lap bounc­ing around in a Dharma van, until the newly dead Jacob shows up to tell Hur­ley how to save him. He is then taken on a not so quick detour to “res­cue” the soon to be dead Juliet, then dri­ven some more, placed on a stretcher, car­ried through the jun­gle, taken under a wall through a crack guarded by a long dead, one-armed French­man, almost hav­ing his stretcher bear­ers shot, dumped into a dirty pool in the mid­dle of the Oth­ers Tem­ple, only to be held under water until drowned.

At the very end of the 2 hours Sayid sud­denly wakes up and says, “What just hap­pened?” Both my wife and I on the couch in Aiken, SC in the year 2010 said, “Amen brother. What did just happen?”

Started up, went down, still down.
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Weekly Woodsman?

Yesterday’s post con­cerned book ref­er­ences in the sea­son pre­mier of TDTVS. When rewatch­ing the episode again, I noticed that Rose, sit­ting across from Jack on Oceanic 815 that did land in LA, was read­ing a mag­a­zine, Weekly Woods­man. What the heck does that mean?

The Red Cross did get the $10 from my GoPhone account. It just took 3 days to do it and 3 more for me to notice. Tomor­row we’ll donate another ten spot.

Started down, went up, still up.
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I Am Donna’s Colon

And I am very sick.

I kind of know what a healthy colon looks like and now I know what one with ucle­r­a­tive col­i­tis looks like.

After two weeks of try­ing to make it bet­ter at home using the var­i­ous meds pre­scribed by our GP, and after a colonoscopy this after­noon, Donna was admit­ted to the hos­pi­tal where she could get some stronger stuff via IV. Now via hind­sight (which is always 20/20) we prob­a­bly should have should taken the Doc­tor up on his offer to be admit­ted last week­end. And had it been pre­sented as more of a request to stay, not a coin toss deci­sion, we prob­a­bly would have taken him up on it, instead we picked the option where you go home.

Started up, still up.
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It Is Definitely Not High Speed

But at least it is wire­less and free, so blog­ging from the hos­pi­tal room is a hit and miss affair.

I know I really shouldn’t com­plain about the weather con­sid­er­ing what the folks in the mid-atlantic and north­east are deal­ing with, but I’m going to any­way. Yes­ter­day on the way home from I got the top down for the first time in prob­a­bly 2 weeks and today there was no chance of that as win­ter made a come back. Temps in the 20’s in the morn­ing climb­ing only into the for­ties with a 20 MPH wind. There was even a whis­per of snow show­ers for Friday…

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
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Gotta Love Health Insurance

Although today it is awfully hard to. Our Fam­ily Physi­cian paid us a visit around lunch time to check in on Donna and let us know that Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama was refus­ing to pay him because they felt that she wasn’t sick enough to have been admit­ted into the hospital!

I hope that they can straighten this out. My guess is that he is her pri­mary physi­cian so he is charged with being the admit­ting guy when it was it really was the colon doc who called the shot. Maybe he didn’t cross a T or dot an I. All the docs are sup­posed to get together in the morn­ing and write a term paper to BCBSAL to get them to allow the hos­pi­tal stay. Or tomor­row night we might be out on the street.

Started up, still up.
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Still Here

The doc­tors have made their pleas to Big Insur­ance, we remain admit­ted and inside stay­ing warm while a freak (for Aiken) snow storm dumps the white stuff outside.

Started up, still up.
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Morning After

Can you spot the Miata in this picture?

About 4 inches of the fluffy white stuff fell overnight. Here at the hos­pi­tal the power went off and back on about three times between 7 — 7:30PM and then once again around 10. We could tell when the on/offs hap­pened because the lights would blink while emer­gency gen­er­a­tor kicked on and the TV would go off and not come back on. I talked to my neigh­bor today and that mir­rored his power out­ages exactly only his lasted a lit­tle longer with the 10:00PM one last­ing a lit­tle over an hour.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 533

A Case of Attention Deficit Disorder

I haven’t blogged much about the actual rea­son we are in the hos­pi­tal for sev­eral rea­sons, Donna isn’t as excited to share the inti­mate details as I would be, the spotty inter­net con­nec­tion and the lack of free time allot­ted the assis­tant lay nurse of a sick per­son. But I will shared my favorite story of the past week. Treat­ment for her type of col­i­tis is the steroid solu-cortef. The steroid amps you up and in Donna’s case on the sec­ond day kind of turned her into a 5-year old kid with a case ADD. To counter act this the doc­tor pro­scribed Xanax, an anti-anxiety med­i­cine, and it has calmed her some, but not entirely.

While on the clear liq­uid diet she was drink­ing all sorts of flu­ids, but she always kept her favorite three at hand on the bed table, water, cran­berry juice and diet gin­ger ale. Each fluid had its own lit­tle sty­ro­foam cup which she would have me write the flu­ids name in three or four places along the top edge of the cup. She would line them up in a straight line for­ma­tion. Directly behind the cup marked water was the large hos­pi­tal sup­plied plas­tic mug which the staff kept full of ice and water, directly behind the gin­ger ale was the small 8oz can of soda and lastly right behind the cran­berry juice glass were stacked the 4oz plas­tic con­tain­ers of juice. Each cup had its own sep­a­rate straw. After each drink from the cups, some­times one right after the other, she care­fully arrange them back in straight lines.

This morn­ing after we got all the cups arranged and filled with the appro­pri­ate com­bi­na­tion of fluid and ice she looked down at the row of drinks and frowned. When she looked up at me I asked, “What’s wrong?” She looked at me and said, “My straws don’t match.” Sure enough, there were two yel­low straws and one white one. I went over to her neatly arranged bed stand picked out a match­ing yel­low straw.

You already seen my two favorite snow day pic­tures, but because I can I posted most of the rest of them in a new gallery online, Aiken’s 2010 Snow Day

Started up, still up.
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Time Flies

Donna came home from the hos­pi­tal on Thurs­day after­noon and her sis­ter showed up later that night for a weeks visit. Because Sandy was here to look after her I actu­ally got to go to work on Fri­day for the whole day, even did some pro­duc­tive work. After work the tem­per­a­ture was close enough to 60 that I rode home with the top down.

Squeez­ing in pro­duc­tive sleep has been tricky though, so late night I went to bed at 9:30 and left Donna on the couch “watch­ing” the Olympics. I slept until 2:30 when I woke up and could hear her futz­ing around. I talked her into com­ing to bed but lasted barely an hour or two before she had to get up. We tried lay­ing on the couch, but couldn’t go back to sleep, so I made her a bowl of grits. Ten min­utes after fin­ish­ing it she fell asleep on the couch.

Some of the MMC might come over and visit this morn­ing in place of the club’s usual monthly break­fast and after that she and her sis­ter will go out shop­ping some and my plan is to put the tarp back up over the “car­port” that the snow knocked down.

Started up, went down, still down.
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Doctor Ordered Seperation

It has now been a week since Donna has returned home from the hos­pi­tal and she is mak­ing slow and steady progress towards nor­mal. In that week her sis­ter has come and gone, leav­ing behind a refrig­er­a­tor and freezer full of cooked food that fits into Donna’s colon friendly menu (and is tasty to boot) and I have got­ten about 30 hours of sleep total, none of which has been more than an hour and a half consecutively.

When­ever she gets up to go to the bath­room, I wake up too. I have to turn on the bed­side lamp so she can find her way to and from because the Xanax makes her very drowsy. Most nights around 2:00 AM (the doc­tor thinks because of the steroids) she feels so cold that she has to put on a sec­ond long sleeve shirt and a thicker pair of socks. Then for what­ever rea­son, she can­not stay in bed past 4:00 AM and her rat­tling around in the kitchen mak­ing grits keeps me from return­ing to a full sleep.

Need­less to say this is tak­ing its toll on me, even the peo­ple at work notice that I look like crap. Yes­ter­day at lunch I went out to the car cov­ered myself with a blan­ket and tried to get some shut eye. I set the cell phone alarm for 12:55 so I would wake up and get back to the draw­ing board. For­tu­nately I woke on m own at 12:53 because I had set the alarm for 12:55 AM!

Today we both had doctor’s appoint­ments, her with the gas­tro guy to see how things worked out with Monday’s med­i­cine change (very good) and me with the GP to check on my blood pres­sure (bet­ter than I thought.) My GP is her GP and even though it was my appoint­ment he did ask about her some too. When I told him that I was hav­ing sleep issues his “cure” was a script for lorazepam and the rec­om­men­da­tion that we try sleep­ing in sep­a­rate bed­rooms. So tonight, because tomor­row is a work day, we are going to give it a try. She will spend the night on the liv­ing room couch with the TV and I will stay in the recently vacated back bed­room with the PC and inter­net radio.

Started down, went up, back down, up again, still up.
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104,000 Band Aids

Donna is mak­ing slow, but steady progress towards nor­malcy, but she still is using the restroom a lot more than usual. Con­se­quently she is wash­ing her hands a lot. This means that they are exceed­ingly dry and chapped with numer­ous cracks and splits in the skin. Towards the end of the day these really start to hurt. Tonight I put 104,000 band aids slathered with neosporin on her hands. Actu­ally 104,000 is the num­ber of miles the Emperor passed through on our way out to do some shop­ping today, the num­ber of band aids was closer to 10.

Started up, went down, still down.
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Ip Odd

In a 2006 episode of House MD, John Lar­ro­quette is woken from a 10 year coma in hopes to pro­vide a clue as how to cure his son from the same fate. Some­where along the line he notices a small elec­tronic device and holds it up ask­ing, “What’s this? It says ‘ip odd’?”

Ip Odd is def­i­nitely what I’m call­ing our new 8 Gig Nano. Hav­ing decided that these lit­tle giz­mos are here to stay we opted to plunk down the seri­ous change required to buy an Apple product.

After unpack­ing our shiny new toy, the sec­ond order of busi­ness (right after charg­ing the bat­tery) was to find some­thing to load music to it with­out hav­ing to use iTunes since all my music will be from my pri­vate col­lec­tion, Copy­Trans Man­ager to the rescue.

Started down, still down.
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