Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

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Miles Per Gallon

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Saving Grace

A while back Mark asked me if I had seen a movie called “Sav­ing Grace” about an Eng­lish widow who grows mar­i­juana to pay off her debts. I said yeah, but after read­ing the blurb on Net­flix it didn’t sound that famil­iar, so I dumped in the queue.

The movie arrived in the mail yes­ter­day and when I opened the enve­lope I though to myself, ‘maybe we have seen this.’ Then I remem­bered that if we had rented it from Net­flix I could find out, I could check my movie spread­sheet and we had seen it, back in April of 2001. It didn’t have a DNF (did not fin­ish) next to it, mean­ing we must have some­what enjoyed it, so we watched it again today. And we watched it all the through this time too. An enjoy­able com­edy that only falls apart at the very end.

So Mark, thanks for the rec­om­men­da­tion and because of that, I have granted your request of yesterday.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 89

Metal

On our bicy­cling route to work there is one house we pass that has a small screened-in porch. On that porch are two large dogs, I haven’t seen them because of the way the porch is sit­u­ated, but they sound large and I’m glad they are kept inside. Def­i­nitely on the way to work and most times on the way home, we are the only traf­fic on the road this house is on, but we can not get within 25 yards of it before the dogs start bark­ing. They bark con­tin­u­ously until we are prob­a­bly 25 yards down the road past them. We are not usu­ally talk­ing at this point in the ride, it is flat so we aren’t doing any gear shift­ing, we are just ped­al­ing along with the only sound being the whir of the chain and invari­ably those two dogs start rais­ing a ruckus long before we get any­where near them.

I think James Cameron must have been a bicy­clist and had sim­i­lar expe­ri­ences with dogs hear­ing him com­ing a long way off because he includes a bit in the Ter­mi­na­tor movies about humans using dogs to detect the cyborgs (AKA Metal.) If dogs can hear a com­po­nent of the high pitched bicy­cle chain noise from a ways off it stands to rea­son that they also can pick up the sound of a motor mov­ing a metal joint encased in a layer of human flesh.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 90

A Day Late

Sat­ur­day dawned foggy with a threat of rain and even with a splotch of green on the radar bar­rel­ing down on our lit­tle town, Donna and I went for a walk in Hitch­cock Woods. In def­er­ence to the ver­dant pix­els on the Weather Chan­nel site we packed small umbrel­las and water­proof jack­ets. Halfway through the walk (of course it was halfway, momma didn’t raise no fools,…) it indeed started to lightly rain (…we know enough to come out of the rain), so we donned our jack­ets and turned around. For­tu­nately it has been a mild win­ter so hypother­mia did not set in.

The title of this post is “A Day Late” because I’m writ­ing it on Sun­day, but I will date it late on Sat­ur­day, because when we got home last night it was too late for me to think about doing it then. The mild win­ter came into play then as well because the clouds and fog kept the tem­per­a­ture in the upper 50’s even at eleven o’clock at night, so we got to drive home from Augusta after din­ner out with friends with top down.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 91

Torn

Donna’s youngest brother Scott and fam­ily live near Seat­tle and we have vis­ited them there a cou­ple times now and we both have come to enjoy the north­west. We didn’t visit them in 2008, instead opted to remodel our bath­rooms, but this year we are plan­ning a visit. As much as we like the north­west there is one part of the coun­try we enjoy more, the south­west, which we last vis­ited 20 years ago and now we have a chance to kill two birds with one stone. Scott’s wife Beth annu­ally helps out at a cat­tle auc­tion in New Mex­ico in April so we are sketch­ing out plans for a visit to that area down where poor ol’ Bug Bunny keeps mak­ing wrong turns in, Albuquerque.

Do we drive or do we fly?

Fly­ing nowa­days is such a has­sle and that is after you have wres­tled with mys­ti­cal flight plan­ning. We can fly from Char­lotte (our pre­ferred air­port) on Delta, but not non-stop. We would have to go through Atlanta (sur­prise.) So why don’t we fly from Atlanta, it is only a lit­tle fur­ther away than Char­lotte? Yahoo Travel doesn’t offer that option. So I went to the Delta web site and found that I could do that, but it costs $200 more per per­son to fly fly 250 fewer miles.

Dri­ving is our pre­ferred method of travel, but from here to there the most direct way is 1,600 miles of mind numb­ing inter­state. That trans­lates into roughly four 8 hour days with more of the same in store for the way back, so we would prob­a­bly rent a car (because the Miata is not really opti­mal for that sort of travel.) Even though we would have to rent a car in New Mex­ico if we flew, dri­ving would prob­a­bly mean a 2 week vaca­tion instead of just a week for flying.

Fly­ing and it’s shorter trip would mean the hotel and meals would be half the cost of dri­ving, but 2 weeks and dri­ving would mean we could do sight­see­ing on the way out and back.

What to do? What to do?

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 92

Monday Night Off

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 93

Lucky Duck

For the sec­ond time this week we chick­ened out of bicy­cling because of dire weather pre­dic­tions, so we drove, but Monday’s dense fog and today’s morn­ing rain never materialized.

This morn­ing about a mile from home, while pulling away from a stop sign we both noticed a rustling in the bushes between two houses. There was some sort of ani­mal, mostly white, mov­ing towards the road, fast, so I slowed. Sure enough it ran right out in front of us and in typ­i­cal ani­mal fash­ion, noticed the head­lights and stopped right in our lane. So I hit the brakes, hop­ing it was in time, watched as white faded from view and waited for the thump.

Didn’t hap­pen, our lucky opos­sum scur­ried across the road and dis­ap­peared into the woods.

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 95

Tips For A Northerner Moving South

I was clean­ing out some old doc­u­ments from the early 90s on my work com­puter this after­noon. There were even let­ters of res­ig­na­tion from the BMG and Colum­bia House CD Clubs. I came across this that some one had sent me way back when we moved from New Jer­sey to South Car­olina. Repub­lished here as a pub­lic service:

  • Save all man­ner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
  • If you for­get a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as “Bubba”. You have a 75% chance of being right.
  • Don’t be sur­prised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
  • Do not buy food at the movie store.
  • Peo­ple walk slower here.
  • If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cook­ing, let alone eating.
  • The proper pro­nun­ci­a­tion you learned in school is no longer proper.
  • Don’t be wor­ried that you don’t under­stand any­one. They don’t under­stand you either.
  • Get used to hear­ing, “You ain’t from around here, are you?”
  • Remem­ber: “Y’all” is sin­gu­lar. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.
  • The first South­ern expres­sion to creep into a trans­planted Northerner’s vocab­u­lary is the adjec­tive “Big ol’”, as in “big ol’ truck” or “big ol’ boy”. Eighty-five per­cent begin their new south­ern influ­enced dialect with this expres­sion. One hun­dred per­cent are in denial about it.
  • Be advised: The “He needed killin’” defense is valid here.
  • If you hear a South­erner exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
  • If attend­ing a funeral in the South, remem­ber, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
  • Most South­ern­ers do not use turn sig­nals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a sig­nal blink­ing on a car with a south­ern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
  • As you are curs­ing the per­son dri­ving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the mid­dle of the road, remem­ber, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehi­cle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane posi­tion for the vehicle.
  • North­ern­ers can be iden­ti­fied by the spit on the inside of their car’s wind­shield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
  • The win­ter wardrobe you always brought out in Sep­tem­ber can wait until November.
  • Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
  • If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
  • If there is the pre­dic­tion of the slight­est chance of even the most minus­cule accu­mu­la­tion of snow, your pres­ence is required at the local gro­cery store. It does not mat­ter if you need any­thing from the store, it is just some­thing you’re sup­posed to do.
  • Florida is not con­sid­ered a south­ern state. There are far more Yan­kees than South­ern­ers liv­ing there.
  • In south­ern churches you will here the hymn, All Glory, Laud and Honor. You will also here expres­sions such as, “Laud, have mercy”,“Good Laud”, and “Laudy, Laudy, Laudy”.
  • You can ask a South­erner for direc­tions, but unless you already know the posi­tions of key hills, trees and rocks, you’re bet­ter off try­ing to find it yourself.
Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 96

Poladriod

Last year some­time they stopped mak­ing instant Polaroid film, but don’t despair, now thanks to the magic of soft­ware you can recre­ate those “thrilling” green tinged soft focused images from your crys­tal clear per­fectly color bal­anced 10 megapixel images your dig­i­tal SLR pro­duces. They have even recre­ated the ago­niz­ing wait while your photo devel­ops, the only thing lack­ing is the abil­ity to pick up your mon­i­tor and wave it around to help speed the process — Poladroid Project.

Maybe the rea­son I think this is so cool is because my very first cam­era at about 10 or 11 years-old was a Polaroid Swinger

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 96

Truck Traffic

We had the after­noon off from work and it was a per­fect win­ter day, sunny and in the upper 50s, so instead of nap­ping on the couch, we went for a 3 mile or so walk in Hitch­cock Woods.

Donna and I always kid about how much traf­fic there is in the 2000+ acres of for­est because often we will encounter up to a half dozen peo­ple, horses, dogs or any com­bi­na­tion there of over the course of our cou­ple hours in there. Today was a first, we saw a truck. Not just any truck, but the Hitch­cock Woods Foundation’s truck and it was prob­a­bly on offi­cial busi­ness because it was being dri­ven by the Wood’s Super­in­ten­dent Ben­nett Tucker.

How did I know who was dri­ving? Because he came up and intro­duced him­self in the park­ing lot as Donna and I were throw­ing on our back­packs in prepa­ra­tion for going on the hike. Actu­ally he pulled up and asked, “Are you Brian the Red?” Seems he has an RSS feed setup, so that when the Woods gets a men­tion on the inter­web, he gets noti­fied of it (Hi Ben­nett.) He remem­bered the domain name mr-miata.net and we were stand­ing near a Miata, so he took a chance.

As it hap­pened, rid­ing shot­gun in Bennett’s pickup, was a woman who lives in Wash­ing­ton DC and she has a Miata too.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 97

Windows 7

This post is com­ing to you from a fresh install of Win­dows 7 Beta Build 7000. I tried in vain along with mil­lions of other geeks to down­load a copy from the Microsoft web site on Fri­day, but it didn’t hap­pen because the biggest soft­ware com­pany in the world wasn’t pre­pared for the onslaught.

Like any­thing on the inter­net there is always more than one way to skin a cat. I used bit­tor­rent to snag a copy of the ISO that has been float­ing out there for a week or two already. I didn’t know how long this beta ver­sion would stay viable with­out an acti­va­tion key, those too were sup­posed to be avail­able on Fri­day too (at least 2.5 mil­lion any­way), but they were just as unavail­able as the OS was. The inter­web saved the day there too, some­one left a com­ment on a Life­Hacker thread that listed some of the keys that peo­ple had man­aged to get. I plugged the first one in and acti­vated this copy. It is sup­posed to be good until August of this year. Prob­a­bly by that time I will be need­ing a new PC and will get a legal copy with it instead of hav­ing to buy it out right.

Update: Just found out that Microsoft has decided that they screwed up and to make amends they have extended the avail­abil­ity of the Beta until Jan­u­ary 24th and will not cap the acti­va­tion keys at 2.5 mil­lion — Go Get It. You still have to have, or sign up for, a Win­dows Live ID (or an MSN Hot­mail, MSN Mes­sen­ger, or Pass­port account?)

I may go ahead and down­load a ver­sion from Microsoft too, just to be safe.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 98

Sunday Breakfast

We were orig­i­nally intended to drive to Flo­rence to meet Donna’s cousin Lau­rie for break­fast at the Cracker Bar­rel, but it got called off. Lau­rie had to go into work to cover for some­one and couldn’t make it. It saved us hav­ing to get up real early and have to drive a 130 miles, but it didn’t save us from going out to eat. Donna was look­ing for­ward to not hav­ing to cook, and sug­gested we go to the Cracker Bar­rel in Augusta, but nei­ther she nor I wanted to drive the 35 miles just to eat break­fast. I sug­gested we just go to the IHOP here in Aiken, a mere 3 miles away. Sold.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 99

Windows 7 May Not Be For Me

Noth­ing really wrong with the inter­face and it seems that Microsoft took the com­plaints (or at least that Hi I’m A Mac com­mer­cial) of those annoy­ing and pro­lific “Are You Sure You Want To Do That?” dia­log boxes seri­ously, but I think I have a video dri­ver issue. Try any full screen video and it locks up, not just Ctl+Alt+Del locked up either, but hold down the power but­ton for 5 sec­onds to shut it off locked up. The Net­flix stream­ing movie viewer didn’t even have to get to full screen, just a mere attempt to load and it was reboot city.

I thought an updated video dri­ver might help, but Dell only offers a video dri­ver in the XP fla­vor for my lap­top (it’s what came pre­loaded from the factory.)

I won­der what I have to do to undo the instal­la­tion with­out hav­ing to reload XP all over again. Maybe I can just for­mat the par­ti­tion and edit the boot loader file? Off to Google to see…

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

Seperated At Birth?

Every time I watch LOST and I see Miles Straum I think he looks like that guy with all the kids. Every time I catch a few glimpses of Jon & Kate Plus 8 I think how much he looks like that weird psy­chic guy on LOST. (I’m not the only one) But as I went search­ing for pho­tos with them in sim­i­lar poses, I now see that they really don’t look much alike at all.

Win­dows 7 is gone. Booted into it, down­loaded a copy of Easy­BCD and used it to remove the Vista-like boot­loader, booted back into XP and for­mat­ted the par­ti­tion it resided on.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

Really Expensive Pedometer

Over the years to keep track of how far she walks Donna has tried umpteen dif­fer­ent pedome­ters. We started cheap (because how tech­ni­cal can they be?), like six bucks. Well those pup­pies aren’t too accu­rate, it really seemed to mat­ter that it was on a cer­tain point of your waist to get a decent read­ing, but a lot of times even if you put it right where it was yes­ter­day, it wouldn’t work. We tried dou­bling our price point with no improve­ment. We have even tried one that was like $25 and the results were just as disappointing.

She has tried them while at work, walk­ing around the block and hik­ing in the woods. Occa­sion­ally the mileage recorded seemed like it might be close, but mostly it was way, way, off. The work tally would be inter­est­ing because she really does do a lot of trav­el­ing around the plant in her job. The after work mileage is eas­ily com­puted because we can use the bicy­cle com­puter to repli­cate the route, but the woods walks are harder. The map we use is marked with a grid and the lines are 1000′ apart, so she has been esti­mat­ing the mileage by approx­i­mat­ing the windy trails to the grids cov­ered and divid­ing by 5280. Not too accurate.

The other day when we came out from our walk in the woods she said, “I wish there was a bet­ter way to see how far we have walked.” I said, “I know one sure way.” “What?” “A GPS,” I replied.

Our Garmin eTrex Ven­ture® HC arrived today.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

Martin Clunes

We have been watch­ing Doc Mar­tin, a British TV show, about a stuck up sur­geon from Lon­don who gives up his prac­tice because of a pho­bia of blood to become a GP in a small vil­lage in Corn­wall. Most of the humor comes from the fact that the doc­tor has zero inter­per­sonal skills and is entirely inca­pable of telling any­thing but the truth and usu­ally in a scientific/doctorly way which is usu­ally unpleas­ant to the lis­tener. Nearly all the remain­ing laughs are gen­er­ated by some of the totally odd inhab­i­tants of the smal sea­side vil­lage, with just a few left over for the bud­ding romance between the Doc (with which he has no expe­ri­ence at) and the school’s headmistress.

They have filmed 3 Series of the show con­sist­ing of 6, 8 and 7 episodes each. The first Series we rented from Net­flix, but num­bers 2 & 3 haven’t been released in the US as of yet, so we had to turn to Nigel who had copies avail­able in the boot of his Vaux­hall Vec­tra saloon that he could sell us. We are now down to the last two episodes of Series 3 and we will be fin­ished. For now, they are work­ing on a Series 4 that is sup­posed to start film­ing in May of this year, so maybe by the end of 2009 we will be able to watch those shows too.

Doc Mar­tin stars Mar­tin Clunes who is proof pos­i­tive that act­ing mat­ters more than looks to the Eng­lish. While not what you would call ugly, more like eccen­tric, he won’t be mak­ing the leap to lead­ing man in Hol­ly­wood soon. We have seen him a cou­ple of times before, in William & Mary, a roman­tic com­edy TV show and in Sav­ing Grace, which ended up inspir­ing the Doc Mar­tin TV show.

William & Mary ran for 3 Series and of course only the first two were released in Region 1 (the US and oth­ers). We ran through those 12 shows thanks to Net­flix, but the last Series wasn’t avail­able, even from Nigel, so we ended up buy­ing the DVDs from Ama­zon in the UK. I was going to buy just Series 3, but a box set with all three Series were avail­able for only a cou­ple quid more, so I went for the set. Now I have to do some dig­i­tal magic and rip the DVDs to my com­puter and strip­ping the region code. Then I have to burn them back to some record­able DVDs while con­vert­ing them from PAL to NTSC. Wish me luck.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

DVD Fun

Thanks Mark.

  1. Take the William & Mary Region 2 DVD in PAL for­mat and run it through DVD Decrypter to copy it to your hard drive.
  2. Run it through Vob­Blanker to change it to from PAL to NTSC and save it to a new directory.
  3. Run those files through DVD Shrink 3.2, squish­ing the files (so they will fit on a sin­gle layer DVD) and save those to another directory.
  4. Finally burn this last direc­tory to a blank DVD +r using Image­Burn.

Two hours in front of the com­puter and the DVD doesn’t play in the liv­ing room, the Region Code is still intact. I’ve got to delve into the process and find out where I strip the region code…tomorrow.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

French Toast

The MMC meet for their monthly break­fast event here in Aiken at the Sugar Mag­no­lia Cafe (not to be con­fused with Sugar Magnolia’s Cafe in Lom­poc, CA) and we got a nice turn out of 10 peo­ple in 7 cars, 5 Miatas and a Sebring (which counts as two Miatas), a much nicer turn out than the Novem­ber one there which was just Donna and I.

Frakking Sony DVD player. I spent most of the late morn­ing and early after­noon try­ing to get William & Mary burned on a DVD. No mat­ter what I tried, none of the 4 discs pro­duced would do any­thing but play the No Pub­lic Dis­play warn­ing, the pro­duc­tion com­pany logo and the “pirat­ing is steal­ing” PSA before halt­ing and giv­ing an out of region error message.

All the forums posts I found on the net said that the pro­grams I was using should take care of the Region Cod­ing. Then I searched for a way to set the Sony DVD player to region free and found that there were no sure fire way of doing it with my model, but there were a cou­ple of ways that I could try that worked on sim­i­lar mod­els. Ha, close, but oh so frustrating.

I’m not sure what prompted me, but about 3 o’clock I took one of the, what I thought were toast, discs into the other room and tried it in the old JVC player. It worked perfectly.…

The JVC was exiled to the back bed­room a few months ago because it was refus­ing to play DVDs or lock up with increas­ing reg­u­lar­ity. We bought a Sony DVP-NS57P for $40 at Wal­mart to replace it and it has been great; until now. I’ve moved the JVC back into the liv­ing room, now the two of them sit on top of each other in the cab­i­net ready for anything.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

I’m So Excited

A coworker’s dad got a new lap­top and they can’t get it to print on their home net­work. They have pretty much same set up as I do: broad­band modem, wire­less router for the lap­top, desk­top PC wired to router with attached printer. The big dif­fer­ence is dad’s lap­top has Vista. I tried to talk her through a few things to check, but no progress was made. She’s no dummy, except, like me, in mat­ters of Vista.

On Thurs­day, I printed out a bunch of stuff I found on the net about Vista and net­work print­ing and after work we headed over to visit dad. I thought I asked, but maybe not in a way that was clear, but the two PCs were not net­worked at all. The lap­top did have access to the inter­web through the router though. The domain names were the same on both PCs, we turned off the fire­walls, I ran the net­work­ing wiz­ard on the XP desk­top and I think I got every­thing right on the Vista lap­top, but there was no con­nec­tion made.

I came home and hit the back alleys of the net to find a copy of Vista so I could try load­ing it on my lap­top and see if I could net­work it. It took until late last night get the full tor­rent down­loaded (I guess there is not a lot of folks out there that want a copy.)

Today I installed Vista onto the recently vacated par­ti­tion where the Win­dows 7 Beta resided. I con­nected to the wire­less router, changed a few net­work­ing set­tings on Vista and I was in. My only snafu was set­ting up the printer, but only because Vista didn’t have a native dri­ver for it. A sim­ple down­load later and I could print.

I won­der what it would take to start over with the whole net­work­ing thing on Dad’s machine?

I’m so excited about this com­ing week, but I’m not sure what about more:

  1. A new episode of House on Monday,
  2. the swear­ing in of 44,
  3. sea­son five of LOST on Wednesday,
  4. or Fri­day after­noon off.
Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

I Need More Time

At work the pass­word required for net­work access is good for 45 days and when you get down to 5 days left it will start remind­ing you each time you log in that your pass­word is going to expire in “X Days.” ASCO also uses an AS400 for its busi­ness sys­tems soft­ware and it needs a sep­a­rate pass­word from the one you need for the PC net­work. The AS400 pass­word is only good for 28 days, that is not too bad, but the annoy­ing thing is that it starts to remind your pass­word will expire at the 14 day mark.

Why don’t they just go ahead and start remind­ing you when you get down to say…27 days left.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

How Cold Is It?

60 above zero:
Florid­i­ans turn on the heat.
Peo­ple in Min­nesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Cal­i­for­ni­ans shiver uncon­trol­lably.
Peo­ple in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Ital­ian & Eng­lish cars won’t start.
Peo­ple in Wis­con­sin drive with the win­dows down.

32 above zero:
Dis­tilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Florid­i­ans don coats, ther­mal under­wear, gloves, wool hats.
Peo­ple in Michi­gan throw on a flan­nel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York land­lords finally turn up the heat.
Peo­ple in Min­nesota have the last cook­out before it gets cold.

Zero:
Peo­ple in Miami all die.
Wis­con­sins close the windows.

10 below zero:
Cal­i­for­ni­ans fly away to Mex­ico
Peo­ple in Min­nesota get out their win­ter coats.

25 below zero:
Hol­ly­wood dis­in­te­grates.
The Girl Scouts in Michi­gan are sell­ing cook­ies door to door.

40 below zero:
Wash­ing­ton DC runs out of hot air.
Peo­ple in Min­nesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus aban­dons the North Pole.
Wis­con­sins get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
Peo­ple in Michi­gan start saying…“Cold ’nuff fer ya?”

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Min­nesota pub­lic schools will open 2 hours late.

This came from a fel­low MMC’r who read it aloud to the Club when we gath­ered this last Sat­ur­day morn­ing for break­fast on what has been the cold­est day here all win­ter (so far) and Min­nesotans had that last cookout.

Big Snow Storm Covers Aiken!

Not really, more like per­sis­tent flur­ries dust us all day.

It was snow­ing lightly on the drive into work and once it became light, every time I passed a win­dow or on our three short­ened walks around the park­ing lot at break times there were widely scat­tered flakes flut­ter­ing to the ground. Heck at 4 o’clock quit­ting time the sun was shin­ing, but there were still spo­radic flakes tum­bling down. But because our tem­per­a­tures had not been cold enough for long enough noth­ing stuck, not even on the grass.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

It’s Here

Sea­son 5 of TDTVS starts tonight. I was so excited that I couldn’t go to work today, I had to stay home under seda­tion. Well, aspirin and anti­his­t­a­mines. I’ve got the flu or some­thing, sore throat, runny nose, body aches, you know the drill. Hope I can stay awake until 11 to watch both episodes…

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 100

I Need A Cool Code Name

Dur­ing one of the episodes of TDTVS on Wednes­day night, Sayid is tak­ing Hur­ley to a safe house (which turns out to be just the oppo­site) and they are hav­ing a con­ver­sa­tion. I don’t remem­ber exactly what was said, but it went a lit­tle like this:

Sayid: I’m not tak­ing any risks after Ben­tham died.
Hur­ley: You mean Locke.
Sayid: ..Yes, I mean Locke.
Hur­ley: I need a cool code name.

I think this would be a cool lit­tle applet to put on the ABC Lost site, sort of like the Sawyer’s Nick­name Gen­er­a­tor. The writ­ers and pro­duc­ers are fond of cre­at­ing char­ac­ters who names have a hid­den mean­ing relat­ing to philoso­phers, schol­ars and writ­ers. John Locke is actu­ally the name of a 17th-century philoso­pher, so when they made up a pseu­do­nym for him to come back to the world from the island, they gave him the name of a 19th-century philoso­pher, Jeremy Ben­tham.

So in that spirit, since I did so well in alge­bra in high school and am into com­puter stuff, my Cool Code Name™ is George Boole.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 101

Uninspired

Today was a rainy day, just right for recov­er­ing from the flu and watch­ing movies. First we watched Burn After Read­ing (or was it Burn Before Read­ing?) and some­how A-List writer/directors with an A-List cast some­how man­aged to pro­duce a B-List movie. It was not bad, it was good, but it was not inspired like Fargo or The Big Lebowski.

The sec­ond movie was Henry Poole Is Here and I’m not really sure of what to make of this movie. I absolutely can’t think of any­one I could pos­si­bly rec­om­mend this movie to, but not because it was an awful movie, it was actu­ally pretty good. It starts quirky, runs to ques­tions of reli­gion and faith, then some­how turns into a happy end­ing romance.

The Miss Amer­ica pageant (or is it the Miss USA pageant?) is on TLC (The Learn­ing Chan­nel?) this evening and some­how 20-odd nicely pro­por­tioned, finely tanned women in black biki­nis wear­ing high heels came off as unattractive.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 102

Ellen Page Film Festival

Finally got around to see­ing last year’s inde­pen­dent movie that could, Juno. Ranks right up there with yesterday’s Henry Poole Is Here flick, quirky char­ac­ter nav­i­gates tricky life prob­lem while sur­rounded by a cir­cle of quirky friends/family to sat­is­fy­ingly happy end­ing to a folksy acoustic sound­track. Ellen Page is nicely cast as the pro­tag­o­nist, but no 16-year old is that smart or worldly.

Unless of course she a 17-year old Vanessa Wether­hold, daugh­ter of an Eng­lish Pro­fes­sor in the movie Smart Peo­ple. I’ve had this movie in my rental queue for awhile now, but the other day it got moved into the Watch It Now cat­e­gory and while Donna watched some­thing on the tube I watched it on the lap­top. Some folks com­pare it to Side­ways in tone, mostly I think because of Thomas Hay­den Church, I didn’t see it in any­thing other than his sim­i­lar sort of loose can­non with a pur­pose shtick. I enjoyed the movie and don’t regret the hour and a half I spent with it, but it is another one that I can’t rec­om­mend to any­one I know because I don’t know any­one else who likes this type of movie.

I do enjoy “inde­pen­dent style” movies, but after this week­end I think I need a dose of good ol’ Hol­ly­wood style unre­al­ity. Maybe I need to move The Dark Knight to the top of the queue.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 102

Tax Man Cometh

The fine folks at Tax­Cut mailed me a CD again this year. I almost installed it.

I have used a com­puter pro­gram to do my taxes (Tax­Cut and Tur­b­o­Tax before it) for at least a dozen years. In the begin­ning they were sort of crude and it was more a nov­elty and a math check than any­thing. As each year went by they got bet­ter, they asked ques­tions in plain Eng­lish, you no longer had to read the form, read the expla­na­tion in the instruc­tions, scratch your head, guess. It was almost fun to do your taxes.

I don’t remem­ber what Tax­Cut cost last year, but this year they wanted $50 for the one that includes Fed­eral & State and that appar­ently was my tip­ping point because I didn’t want to spend that much. I down­loaded the 1040 form and instruc­tions off the IRS site and then because we were out and about yes­ter­day I ducked in the library and picked up a paper copies too (it is so much eas­ier for me to read the instruc­tions while fill­ing out the form instead of flip­ping win­dows back and forth.)

Today I inves­ti­gated the pos­si­bil­ity of fill­ing them out online for free, but they were lim­ited to peo­ple mak­ing less than $53k which left us out. Then I found that both of the major play­ers offered free online soft­ware and e-file for fed­eral (will charge for doing the state though ~$30.) I picked Tur­b­o­Tax Free and in less than an hour I was done.

Admit­tedly ours is a piece of cake, we can’t even item­ize any­more because our home mort­gage inter­est is so low now, but I’m sure it will take longer to do the state on paper tomorrow.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 102

Achoo!

Last Fri­day after a cou­ple days off bat­tling the flu, I was not fully back to nor­mal, so I had to take a box of Kleenex in to work to keep handy at my desk. I was given one off the shelf here at home and it was cov­ered in flow­ers and such, not very manly, so when I got into work I mea­sured the box and drew up a tem­plate in Auto­CAD. My first cover attempt con­sisted of drop­ping the tem­plate over one of our part draw­ings. While ini­tially sat­is­fied with the first cover, it didn’t take long before I had an idea for a bet­ter one, behold cover #2. Looks like Jack is run­ning to the box because he has to sneeze.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 102

Dr Cuddy?

We popped in the first disc of Sea­son 1 of The West Wing tonight and watched a cou­ple episodes. in the very first one Deputy Com­mu­ni­ca­tions Direc­tor Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe) picks up a woman in bar and ends up spend­ing the night with her. In the morn­ing they acci­den­tally swap pagers. Later that day “Sam’s” pager goes off and dis­cov­ers the swap along with that he also finds out the woman works for an escort ser­vice! She looks vaguely famil­iar, I think I have an idea, but dis­miss it as too far fetched.

Donna has the same idea, but is sure who it is, so she says it, “She’s from House.” Now when she speaks I can tell it is her, it is Lisa Edel­stein, just 10 years younger than we’re used to.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 102

Superbad

I watched Super­bad on Net­flix Instant Watch and enjoyed it. Some­time, if you are just in the mood for some teenage raunch/stupid/low brow com­edy, this movie will be for you.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 103

Urologist Visit

As men age, we tend to end up see­ing more and more of the med­ical estab­lish­ment. For exam­ple, my fam­ily doc­tor recently referred me to a female urologist.

I saw her yes­ter­day and she is gor­geous. She’s beau­ti­ful and unbe­liev­ably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating.

I asked her why, and she said, “Because I’m try­ing to exam­ine you…”

Mii

After work we drove to Augusta to meet some friends for din­ner. Mmmm…ribs. When we were done eat­ing it was decided that the 4 of us should go bowl­ing, so we went back to their liv­ing room.

They just bought a Wii a cou­ple weeks ago and have been bowl­ing prac­ti­cally every night. Trust me it showed in the scores. We rolled a total of three games and each game my wife beat me by just a few pins. It is usu­ally just the oppo­site in the real world, I come out on top there. Incred­i­bly it works that way with the cou­ple we were with too, only she is the bet­ter bowler in reality.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 104

Commercials

What started as a cham­pi­onship game between two dis­tinct foot­ball leagues has some­how been trans­formed into a show­case for adver­tise­ments. Every­one watches the game, but every­one pays atten­tion to the ads.

Don Draper: Adver­tis­ing is based on one thing: hap­pi­ness. And do you know what hap­pi­ness is? Hap­pi­ness is the smell of a new car. It’s free­dom from fear. It’s a bill­board on the side of a road that screams with reas­sur­ance that what­ever you’re doing is OK. You are OK.

Tonight there was an hour show just show­ing famous Super Bowl com­mer­cials. They even had some sneak peeks of this year’s ads. If you missed the show, and can’t wait until tomor­row, you can see quite a few of them here: Adweek.com

Roy: So, what do you do, Don?
Don Draper: I blow up bridges.
Midge: Don’s in adver­tis­ing.
Roy: No way! Madi­son Avenue? What a gas!
Midge: We all have to serve some­body.
Roy: Per­pet­u­at­ing the lie. How do you sleep at night?
Don: On a bed made of money.

The cost of a 30-second spot for Super Bowl I in 1967 was $42,500 on CBS. Twenty years and 20 games later, the cost had spi­raled to $600,000. For this year’s game, CBS is ask­ing $3 mil­lion and they have sold out (pun intended.)

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 104