Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

Random Images

Pawleys Island - 29585-9997 Lancaster - 29720 Johns Island - 29455 Electric

Miles Per Gallon

Fuelly Fuelly

Quick Updates…

…in lieu of actual orig­i­nal thought post content.

I screwed the pooch when I made up the vot­ing page for the Water Photo Con­test. When I got the three last minute entries I copied and pasted the info from the then last photo. I changed the title, but neglected to change the num­ber assigned each photo, oops. If any­one voted for any of the last 4 pho­tos all the votes went to one. So when I got home from work I reset every­thing. If you voted yes­ter­day or early today your chad got swept into the bit bucket, go vote again.

Cable guy comes Wednes­day after work to hook up my cable internet.

No com­ment spam as of yet (not unusual though.)

Printed out the labels for the SAD CD, thank you Microsoft Clip Gallery Online. Goes in the mail tomorrow.

To buy said labels I had to go to Sta­ples, just 5 days after swear­ing I’d never go back after last Wednesday’s inci­dent. Not that I didn’t try to avoid it, I went to Wal-Mart look­ing first and I absolutely hate Wal-Mart.

I Got Framed

Went down to Michael’s to get the car­i­ca­ture framed. They keep bet­ter records than I do, because the clerk was able to pop up my order from a year ago when I framed the first CarArtz cus­tom cre­ation. Frame, check. Mat, check. Glass, check. Cha-ching.

I got an 11x17 print framed in a sim­ple black rounded frame, about 3–1/2 inches of gray mat all around and a piece of non-glare glass, total cost $91. That was with the 1/2 off coupon. Do they dou­ble their prices for the weeks they run the coupons?

Speaking Of Mat

I got an email yes­ter­day let­ting me know my coco­mats shipped. They hope­fully will arrive tomor­row. I say hope­fully as that is what the email said. The email also said that I could click on a link and track my ship­ment with DHL, but when I click on the link DHL says that num­ber doesn’t exist. I even got a sec­ond email today, same as yes­ter­day, tried the link again, still doesn’t exist.

Update: clicked on the track­ing link just now and ta-da, there is info. Although if I’m read­ing it right it is com­ing by ground from Dan­bury, CT to me here in Aiken, SC via truck and expected deliv­ery is tomor­row, but it didn’t get picked up until this after­noon at 4:30. Accord­ing to Yahoo Maps that is an 833.5 mile trip and it should take 12 hours, 49 min­utes. He must be com­ing door to door.

1077 / 155

Cable guy got here at 3:00 and left at 6:30. 99% of that time was set­ting up the wiring. He had to go under the house in our (quite lit­er­ally a) crawl space 3 sep­a­rate times. Dirty work. So here is the results, min­utes ago 1077 dn, 155 up com­pared to DSL’s 604/218 on Sat­ur­day. It does seem quicker, about like going from 33 to 56K was (only in hyper­drive.) But for nearly twice the speed I think I can man­age to spent twenty bucks less a month. :-)
Con­tinue read­ing 1077 / 155

Still No Mats

As a mat-ter of fact the last known scan was — 3/5/04, 8:01 am, Processed at Sort Facil­ity, Wilm­ing­ton, OH — so much for the esti­mated deliv­ery of 3/4/04. I’ll be lucky If I see them on Monday.

I’ll be get­ting my muf­fler installed tomor­row by hook or crook. It is Master’s Miata Club Tech Day and if we don’t get it on there, I’m stop­ping at a muf­fler shop and pay­ing some­body. I hope it doesn’t rain (Weather Chan­nel says 50%) and scare off some peo­ple, espe­cially not Dave Harp, as he is sup­posed to swap my OEM brushed alu­minum inte­rior bits for his black.

The Emperor’s New Clothes

Thanks to Dave Harp I now have exor­cised the brushed alu­minum inte­rior tid­bits and replaced them with black. Dave’s 2001 red base model has an all black inte­rior and it really ben­e­fited from the sil­ver vent rings, radio sur­round, shifter sur­round and inte­rior door han­dles. Really nice when that hap­pens, two peo­ple made happy at no cost (but a lit­tle sweat equity.)

While the dash was apart swap­ping alu­minum for black, I pulled out the pas­sen­ger airbag switch and popped in a nifty lit­tle pocket that goes there in the Japan­ese Miata. Not sure if any­thing will ever go in there, but it looks bet­ter than the switch. The switch is tucked up under and behind the glove box for now. I’ll have to secure it some­how, maybe tomorrow.

The new muf­fler is on with only one slight injury to me and none to the car.boo-booThe title of this post has to do with the sound of the new muf­fler. After all the sub­jects of Miata.netland had been effer­vesc­ing over it, it just didn’t live up to my expec­ta­tions of what it should have sounded like. Right now it doesn’t sound much louder than stock. At idle and cruise it is just as quiet with only a slightly louder tone under accel­er­a­tion, I guess I expected it to be about two notches up instead of just barely dif­fer­ent. So I hate to be the one to point this out, but the Emperor’s new clothes are noth­ing. (Get it, clothes, muffler?)

The first two Miatas never acquired names like so many of the Miatas out there. It was always “Our Car” or just plain “The Miata.” Occa­sion­ally it was “His Car” when it needed some­thing done. The wis­dom was you never forced a name on the car, it would always name itself. Well, that never hap­pened. I think some­how that today this new car just got it’s name. Since the begin­ning with it we have treated it dif­fer­ently because of the color combo and it’s qui­eter, smoother ride, treated it a lit­tle like roy­alty. Hence­forth the new Miata will be known as The Emperor, long may he reign.

Sad Songs Say So Much

Amaz­ing what music evokes cer­tain emo­tions in peo­ple. How a cer­tain song reminds you of some­thing from the past because it was play­ing in the back­ground at the event. Why do some folks like a song and oth­ers dis­like it?

Got my SAD CD Mix from Andrea yes­ter­day. I popped it in the CD player in the car. At first I didn’t think it sounded sad at all, it was a nice mix of songs, but I didn’t get the emo­tion. I think this is the fault in the man­ner in which I lis­ten to music. Most of the time the voice is treated like an instru­ment in my head, I don’t hear the words, I hear the tone. The songs on my mix to her sounded sad to me, I know a few of them are about being sad, but pos­si­bly not all have any­thing to do with sad. Because I have done a bit of dri­ving today, I am about halfway through the 3rd lis­ten. I’m start­ing to catch some of the lyrics and there are some sad tunes there. Nicely done Andrea.

Mats Make It

They are here. Arrived on the doorstep around 2:00 PM accord­ing to my mother-in-law. I slipped them in the car as soon as I got home. Nii­ice. As a bonus, Donna likes them too. I am now offi­cially done per­son­al­iz­ing The Emperor.

The only thing that gets done now will be to add some of the­ses cool look­ing black body trim pieces found on the Miata Coupe that go around the bot­tom of the body — here, here and here — prob­a­bly never hap­pen though, the coupe is for the Japan­ese mar­ket only, so I doubt my local Mazda dealer will be car­ry­ing these items.

It’s Where?

Yes­ter­day after­noon Donna’s mom had a doc­tors appoint­ment. She still can’t drive because of the recent surgery on her left arm, so she had Oliver from across the street take her. Mom being kind, offered to let Oliver drive her car so he could save his gas (which is slowly creep­ing up on $2 a gal­lon around here.) Mom was sched­uled to get a shot because she was ane­mic at dis­charge from the hos­pi­tal after the arm thing. They tested her blood and told her she didn’t need the shot after all, woohoo, good news.

When they got back in the car, it wouldn’t start, uh-oh. Mom didn’t have her purse with her Triple A card in it, so she called me. I couldn’t break away, so Donna headed over in the Miata to res­cue them! I guess if worse came to worse she could make two trips. :-)

By the time Donna made it to the doctor’s office Oliver had trou­ble shot it to a dead bat­tery (I ini­tially thought starter as it had been act­ing up lately.) Donna’s mom had some jumper cables, so Oliver directed Donna to pull up close to mom’s Civic. A lit­tle closer than Donna was com­fort­able with, but nobody hit any­body. Oliver then told Donna to open the hood, but Donna had never done this, so she was at a loss as to how to do it. With a lit­tle direc­tion she finds the release and pops it open. Oliver lifts the hood and starts look­ing around, but he can’t find the bat­tery. He asks Donna where the bat­tery is, but she is so flus­tered, all she can think of is, “Maybe because our car is so small it doesn’t need a bat­tery.” As soon as she is fin­ished say­ing this, she remem­bers, “Its in the trunk.”

Its in the trunk?” Oliver replies incred­u­lously. So they close the hood and Donna turns the car around and backs up, under Oliver’s direc­tion, once again closer than she felt com­fort­able with. When you open the trunk of the Miata the first thing you see is the CD changer on the left hand side. Oliver points to it and asks, “Is that the bat­tery?” Now seri­ously doubt­ing Oliver’s abil­ity to accom­plish this bat­tery jump­ing task, Donna waves over a passerby. Before the man even makes it up to where every­one is, Oliver has found the bat­tery under the car­pet on the right side and has the cables hooked up. The man asks Donna what is up and when she replies, “We are jump start­ing the car,” look­ing at the way the cars are aligned, he must really won­der about the mechan­i­cal apti­tude of this older cou­ple and one woman. About the time he peeks in the Miata’s trunk, Oliver gets the now reju­ve­nated Civic to start, so our kindly stranger turns and walks away shak­ing his head. As he retreats, he is heard to mum­ble, “Its in the trunk?”

Folks, it is in the trunk to help the Miata attain a near per­fect 50/50 weight dis­tri­b­u­tion between front and rear.

I Forgot To Mention

One other “Mod” I did on Sat­ur­day was to stop the buzz when you leave the key in the igni­tion and open the door, etc. It was a sim­ple enough pro­ce­dure and every­thing you need to know can be found right here — 1999 Miata Key “Buzzer” Dis­con­nect.

While I was swap­ping inte­rior bits with Dave I asked if he would like me to dis­con­nect his too. He said sure and I went ahead and did it, but I was thrown for a small loop when I located the wiring har­ness to dis­con­nect it. The instruc­tions on the page said locate the con­nec­tor with two wires com­ing out, he didn’t have one with just two. I went back and looked at what I dis­con­nected on my car and then matched up con­nec­tors to one on his car. If you look care­fully at the bot­tom photo at the above link you can see the con­nec­tor will hold 4 wires, but it only has two in it, that is the way mine is. Dave’s had 4 wires com­ing out of it. The only dif­fer­ences in our cars is that his is an auto­matic trans­mis­sion, so we fig­ured the other two wires must have some­thing to do with that. When dis­con­nected, his buzzer stopped and all other func­tions seemed to work as before. I won­der what those extra wires might be for?

What Would Jesus Do?

A friend at work has acquired a DVD of a movie that is still in the­aters. He has got­ten another fel­low to make copies of it using a piece of pirated DVD copy­ing soft­ware. Know­ing that I had said I wouldn’t see this one in the the­aters, but instead would prob­a­bly rent it when it came out, they asked if I would like a copy of my own for view­ing now. I said, “I’ll let you know.”

The movie, “The Pas­sion of the Christ.”

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It’s Off To HHI We Go

Time to go pack the trunk with our cus­tom fit­ted lug­gage for the week­end get away to Hilton Head Island. It is a semi-working trip as Sat­ur­day morn­ing I will tak­ing condo inte­rior pho­tos so the web site can get updated some. Hope to snap a cou­ple new Post Office pic­tures for that gallery on the trip too.

Picked up the framed new car­i­ca­ture tonight. I’m going to hang it on the same wall as the old one. They are going in a ver­ti­cal arrange­ment and I can’t fig­ure out which one I should put on top. Should it be the new one as the top would be con­sid­ered a posi­tion of dom­i­nance, or should the new one go in the lower posi­tion as that is more eye-level? Stay tuned.…

I really should be out with the Cal­i­for­nia Duster and/or Quik Detailer eras­ing the pine pollen dust off the car in prep for the trip, but instead I sit here typ­ing away.

Here’s A Couple Of Them

They are fresh, not really new expe­ri­ences. They mir­ror my pre­vi­ous expe­ri­ences with these same places, so you would think I would have learned my les­son, but I am dense.

The first is Wal-Mart. We were in Hilton Head and needed one item and wanted another, fig­ur­ing we could get them both at Wal-Mart we went there. Hop­ing that it would be dif­fer­ent, but it was not. It must be cor­po­rate wide, because it was Sat­ur­day night, prime Wal-Mart shop­ping time, they only had 4 check­out lines run­ning and there were at least 8 peo­ple in each line. We placed our pur­chases on an empty con­veyor belt and walked out.

Sec­ond was at my old friend Popeye’s here in Aiken. We have had the worst luck at lunch time dur­ing the week, but we fig­ured it was Sun­day, might be dif­fer­ent. What do you think? Right, same old song and dance. Both Donna and I love the food, but it is such a pain to get any­thing. They had a total of 3 employ­ees han­dling the Sun­day lunch rush, 1 counter per­son, 1 drive-up per­son and 1 cook! Not only that, but the cook was deep fry­ing each person’s order sep­a­rately or some­thing because it was tak­ing a long time to get each person’s order to them. So long that they asked you to sit down and they would bring it to you. This is smart, now the time that would be bet­ter spent mak­ing or tak­ing orders was spent deliv­er­ing food to cus­tomers. I vowed never to return. Who am I kid­ding, I’ll prob­a­bly go back, I think it makes the food taste all that much bet­ter if I have to suf­fer for it.

Curry Shrimp

Donna’s mom has been our des­ig­nated cook every since she moved in with us back in May of 2000. I like her cook­ing and Donna, well as we all do, loves her mom’s cook­ing. Not only because she grew up eat­ing it, but it means she doesn’t have to do it. Mom is famous for pick­ing a recipe and start­ing to cook it, before check­ing if all the ingre­di­ents are in the house. Most of the time she will find some­thing that will sub­sti­tute, but other times she just fakes it and adds any­thing. For tonight’s meal, when she came upon a miss­ing ingre­di­ent, she just didn’t put any­thing in its place. As a result the meal came out a lit­tle bland; it is tough to make Curry Shrimp, with­out any curry power…

Palace Coup

In the lit­tle over a week since Tech Day and my bemoan­ing the lack of sound improve­ment the new muf­fler made, it is start­ing to come around. Get­ting just a lit­tle throat­ier. Still dead quiet at idle and cruise (which is good,) but it sounds a bit bet­ter under accel­er­a­tion now. If it improves just a bit more I can for­get all about that intake business.

On that very same day I named the car, The Emperor, but have not been able to refer to it as such since. My guess is that it may now be what the car calls itself, but to me it has no name. I’m just not the type of per­son to name inan­i­mate objects. I feel that this is my biggest fail­ure in Miata geek­dom, on par with my inad­e­quacy to obtain sci-fi geek­hood because I haven’t been able to read (nor watch the movie of) Frank Herbert’s Dune.

Happy Birthday Diane

My lit­tle sis­ter is 47 today. Hope you got our silly lit­tle card. Hope you didn’t eat too much cake and ice cream. Hope you cel­e­brated more than I do for my birth­day. Usu­ally the day itself it is no big deal for me because it is near the end of a month long hol­i­day that Donna and I call birthanniver­sary­day­month. It runs from Donna’s birth­day at the end of August, through my birth­day towards the end of Sep­tem­ber to our anniver­sary at the end of Sep­tem­ber. It is 30 days of hijinks, din­ing out and ram­pant spend­ing on our­selves and each other. I can hardly wait until it hap­pens again.…

Bye-Bye Bigfoot

Way back since when­ever I’ve had a bigfoot.com email address. It was a thing of beauty whilst ISP hop­ping in the begin­nings of the inter­net rev­o­lu­tion. It was free and I could for­ward and dis­trib­ute and all kinds of other help­ful stuff. Over the last decade bigfoot?s free ser­vices have dwin­dled, a vic­tim of their own suc­cess. For about a year or so now I have been lim­ited to 25 pieces of email a day. Trou­ble with that is, with the increase in spam a per­son had to be lucky to be in the top 25 to get a mes­sage to me. I stopped using the address, but kept check­ing for old times sake. Today I ter­mi­nated my account. The end of an era.

While fol­low­ing the steps to end my asso­ci­a­tion with big­foot, not once, but twice I had to click OK on a screen that warned: “By ter­mi­nat­ing your Big­foot For Life account, you will no longer receive offers from Bigfoot’s Pro­mo­tional part­ners. How­ever, you will also have to forego the ben­e­fits of using any of Bigfoot’s ser­vices which are avail­able only to those with active Big­foot for Life accounts.” Did they ever think that maybe it was those pro­mo­tional part­ners junk mail that made the ser­vice unusable?

Hello G Force Cable

On the night I had cable inter­net installed I had to call the tech sup­port phone num­ber to set up an email address. Some one helped me nearly right away. The next two times I called, I gave up after wait­ing 5 or so min­utes. The para­noid side of me fig­ured that they know when some­body is being installed so the first call get answered. After that they’ve got you, so you can be safely ignored. The other 2 times were evenings, which I fig­ured were peak times, so I thought I might try in the day. This call would be the proof or dis-proof of my the­ory. I guess I’m just para­noid, I got a quick answer today.

As if I must always have set amount of email addresses, to replace the recently departed Brian_the_Red@bigfoot.com address, I almost signed up for one of these, world’s longest alpha­bet­i­cal email address. Instead I opted for Brian_the_Red [at] gforce­ca­ble [dot] com.

Finally, Portable Sunscreen

Saw a dis­play in the super­mar­ket tonight that pro­claimed, “NEW! Portable Sun­screen!” Thank god, I was tired of hav­ing to schlep back to the car to dis­pense more sun­screen from the 50 gal­lon drum the stuff usu­ally comes in.

Where Did The Pictures Go?

Just back from a Master’s Miata Club func­tion. I took a bunch of pic­tures, but when I stuck the card in the reader, Win­dows Explorer showed no files. The root direc­tory pie chart thingie showed that the drive was nearly full, yet there were no files to be found. Crap! Google searched for smart media file recov­ery. The sev­enth one down on the page led me to PC Inspec­tor Smart Recov­ery 4.44. Not only did it work like a charm, it was FREE.

The day was saved, too bad not many of the pic­tures were worth sav­ing. A cou­ple did go into the Pic­ture Pile (a folder kept on my desk­top) and might show up if they fit a theme from an upcom­ing photo meme.

Fog Light DRLs

I man­aged to get my hands on a copy of the wiring dia­gram for the fog lights and as a bonus the head­light cir­cuits.* I’ve had it for a while, but today I decided to attempt the mod again (my first ended in failure.)

With care­ful study of the cir­cuit wiring dia­grams it looked like for the fog light relay to trip, turn­ing on the fogs, it needed +12v com­ing from the head­light relay and a ground avail­able when the head­light switch is in low. My ideal sit­u­a­tion would be to have an igni­tion on twelve volts applied to one end of the relay and a ground applied to the other when­ever the lights are off. This would dis­able the fog lights as fog lights, but make them day­time run­ning lights — always on when the car is run­ning and off at night.

First thing I decided to do was cut the red/yellow wire. I really didn’t want to, but I could never get the relay loose from the con­nec­tor, so snip I did. Hooked up the bar­rel splice to the +12v wire I found in my orig­i­nal attempt and the red/yellow wire run­ning into the relay con­nec­tor. Fig­ur­ing that this would not change any oper­a­tion as the ground from the head­light switch was still miss­ing, I tested the setup. Much to my sur­prise when the key was turned to IGN the fogs came on. Not only were they on, but the light in the switch was on, even though the switch was not depressed. I tried turn­ing the lights on, another sur­prise awaited, as when they came on, the fogs went off (along with the light in the switch.) So I pushed in the fog light switch and the fogs came on, they also went out when I turned on the high beams, just like they are sup­posed to.

Fol­low­ing the dia­gram out, I must be get­ting a ground from some­where I’m not sup­posed to be, through either the left front low beam or some­where in the instru­ment clus­ter. See­ing as my +12v is only applied when the igni­tion is on I won’t be run­ning down the bat­tery or any­thing. The cur­rent draw to trip that relay is prob­a­bly small enough that I won’t do any dam­age to any­thing, but I would still like to know where it is com­ing from. When we go for a drive tonight I’ll see if I can fig­ure out which one by look­ing at the head­light and the instru­ment clus­ter in the dark.
Con­tinue read­ing Fog Light DRLs

DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!

Last night on the test drive of my new mod, fog lights as DRLs, I got as far as the back wheels out of the garage before I smelled burn­ing. (I used to be an Avi­a­tion Elec­tron­ics Tech­ni­cian in Uncle Sam’s Yacht Club, so I’m inti­mately famil­iar with the smell of burnt elec­tri­cal bits.) Instantly turned off the car and snipped my new +12v wire to the fog light relay. I don’t think I ruined any­thing, all the back­ground lights on the clus­ter still work, all the nor­mal lights came on when starting…

Funny, I didn’t smell any­thing on my ini­tial test, the only dif­fer­ence this time was the car was running.

So it’s back to the draw­ing board. I guess my next step will be to make my own ground to the relay, so cur­rent won’t be going willy-nilly through out the car.

Painting The Town Garnet Red

I bought a new car in Novem­ber. They sent me a sur­vey to fill out rat­ing my expe­ri­ence with the pur­chase. I thought about throw­ing it out, I now swear that thought is true, but Mazda thinks I filled it out. As a way of thank­ing me they sent me a bot­tle of touch-up paint. That was the end of Jan­u­ary. About a week later I got a sec­ond bot­tle, it was pack­aged dif­fer­ently and included a cou­ple of other items, but the main con­tents was a bot­tle of touch-up paint. This last Sat­ur­day, a famil­iar enve­lope arrived in the mail, that’s right, another bot­tle of touch-up paint. So Sun­day I emailed them:

From: “Brian Bog­a­r­dus” <bogardus@geeforcecable.com>
To: <customerassistance@mazdausa.com>
Sent: Sun­day, March 28, 2004 10:35 AM
Sub­ject: Stop it. You are creep­ing me out.

Dear Mr. Cus­tomer Assistance,

Novem­ber 24, 2003 — Pur­chase a new 2003 Gar­net Red Miata

Jan­u­ary 28, 2004 — Receive a bot­tle touch-up paint as a thank you for fill­ing out a sur­vey I swear I threw in the trash, but must have completed.

Feb­ru­ary 7, 2004 — Receive a sec­ond bot­tle of touch-up paint inside a minia­ture steer­ing wheel replica along with some other things, includ­ing a let­ter that wel­comes me to the “Emo­tion of Motion.”

March 27, 2004 — Receive a third bot­tle of touch-up paint with what looks like the exact same let­ter as accom­pa­nied the first bottle.

Thanks for the first bot­tle as I already have had a use for it, but stop already, one more bot­tle and I’ll be able to paint my wife’s Civic Gar­net Red to match the Miata. If you feel a fur­ther need to thank me for buy­ing your prod­uct a $10 gas card or sim­i­lar would be nice to off­set the cost of the required pre­mium fuel.

Sin­cerely,
Brian Bogardus

Today I got a reply:

From: “Cus­tomerAs­sis­tance” <CustomerAssistance@mazdausa.com>
To: “Brian Bog­a­r­dus” <bogardus@geeforcecable.com>
Sent: Mon­day, March 29, 2004 04:33 PM
Sub­ject: Re: Stop it. You are creep­ing me out. (KMM203077V95587L0KM)

Dear Brian,

Thank you for con­tact­ing Mazda North Amer­i­can Oper­a­tions. I appre­ci­ate the oppor­tu­nity to respond to you.

Thanks for alert­ing us to the addi­tional, unin­ten­tional mail­ings that you received. I have for­warded your com­ments to our Mar­ket­ing con­tacts to ensure that no fur­ther wel­come pack­ages are sent.

Again, thank you for con­tact­ing Mazda. It has been my plea­sure to assist you. Please feel free to reply to this mes­sage with any fur­ther ques­tions or comments.

Please take a moment to give us your opin­ion about our e-mail ser­vice. Click the link below to com­plete a brief, online survey.

http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?T8SY3YKAT109GH3CPK39V6

Regards,

William Zdan
Spe­cial­ist, Cus­tomer Assis­tance E-Business

Oh no you don’t, fill­ing out a sur­vey is what got me nto this mess to begin with…