Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

Random Images

Shakey DC Metro Yours Truly Crazy Horse Zoom Zoom

Miles Per Gallon

Fuelly Fuelly

Memorable Camcorder

JVC GR-D770Every year the com­pany holds a ser­vice awards ban­quet and the employ­ees who are cel­e­brat­ing any 5 year incre­ment anniver­sary get a gift, plus a nice steak din­ner for them and their spouse, fol­lowed by a DJ with dancing.

Donna and I went for our 5 year anniver­sary and have not gone back for the past three. The main rea­son is the build­ing where they hold it allows smok­ing in the bar area where you have to go to get your alco­holic or non-alcoholic bev­er­ages. The bar is a sep­a­rate room, but with all the traf­fic in and out for drinks, you might as well leave the door open. Another rea­son is the food, it is the usual fare for 150 peo­ple, fatty rib-eye steaks, baked pota­toes in alu­minum foil and a green over cooked veg­etable. The HR depart­ment does a nice job with all the work that goes into some­thing like this and a lot of peo­ple really enjoy the event, but it is just not our cup of tea.

The gifts are cho­sen from a cat­a­log from a com­pany that spe­cial­izes in just that thing and is approved by the cor­po­rate office, every­body in Emer­son chooses from the same cat­a­log. The gifts increase in value as you advance through the 5-year incre­ments. At five years I selected a wooden pen & pen­cil set, at 10 years I got a nice look­ing gold plated plas­tic wall clock (that is keep­ing per­fect time in the garage) and for the life of me I don’t remem­ber what I got at fif­teen years. This year I was prob­a­bly going to end up with anther for­get­table gift as well, there were prob­a­bly 2 dozen items to choose from, but like the event itself, there was noth­ing in there that was my cup of tea. Then I had an idea. Why not get the cam­corder and give it to Donna’s brother and his wife. They have a new baby and it would be per­fect for them to cap­ture those pre­cious moments.

When we vis­ited them in May I asked them if they had a cam­corder. To which I got the unex­pected reply of, “Yes.” It was too late to change my gift choice, I was get­ting a cam­corder. This year’s award ban­quet was last Sat­ur­day night, so Mon­day morn­ing I got a let­ter of con­grat­u­la­tions and a small box con­tain­ing a JVC GR-D770. Great, now what am I going to do with this thing, I cer­tainly have no need (or desire) for a cam­corder. Giv­ing it as a gift to a rel­a­tive seemed OK, but some­how sell­ing it on eBay seems ungrateful.

What­ever hap­pens, I will remem­ber my 20-year award unlike the for­got­ten fifteenth.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 303

Superlative Shrimp

Ultimate ShrimpTonight was the August MMC meet­ing and we met at a Chi­nese place in Augusta. The Club has met there before, but Donna and I must have missed that meet­ing because we have never eaten there before. It was a sit down place, not a buf­fet, but they had a sep­a­rate room we could be in so as to not dis­turb the other patrons or vice versa. They/we needn’t have wor­ried, there were like two other peo­ple in the whole restau­rant, 4 when we left.

We each had a bowl of Won Ton Soup and split the Ulti­mate Shrimp which turned out to be just like sweet & sour shrimp, but with a bite.

Meal Cost: $17.65
Tip: $3.35
Desert: $4.90 (ice cream in Aiken)
Spent Today: $25.90
Year to Date: $1651.34
Meals out, 96 of a pos­si­ble 636.

Donna ordered 2 egg rolls, but we never got them. Prob­a­bly paid for them too, but real­ized it once we were in the car out in the park­ing lot. I talked her out of going back in and get­ting our four bucks back, because I didn’t feel like wait­ing around.

Started up, went down, back up, down again, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 306

Rode the Bus to Work Today

No, not the 30 foot long diesel pow­ered belch­ing black smoke kind, but the tan­dem bicy­cle. The morn­ing wasn’t half bad, but the fog had us rid­ing through a cloud on a cou­ple of occa­sions. The ride home was very warm, but not unbear­able. We made a stop down­town for lunch at the Stop­light Deli. On our Fri­day after­noons off we like to hit the Deli first thing to beat the crowds, but today because of the time required to change into cycling attire and pedal there instead of drive, we hit it at peak lunch crowd. The line was at least 8 deep at the counter, but the food was fairly quick in arriv­ing and, as always, tasty enough to make us for­get the wait.

Meal Cost: $13.38
Tip: None
Spent Today: $13.38
Year to Date: $1664.72
Meals out, 97 of a pos­si­ble 639.

The four shocks did only take four days to get here from Cal­i­for­nia. I thought I was so smart to have them deliv­ered to work, but the joke was on me as they showed up on the day I didn’t have a car. So when we got home I jumped in the Miata and drove right back where we came from to pick up my two boxes that weighed 30lbs and were too heavy and to large to fit in our panniers.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 306

The $64,000 Question

Alien ConfusionWhat the heck is this?

Another Car­olina Car Trek car. This is one of two in the thriv­ing mega­lopo­lis of Soci­ety Hill, SC.

Some­where north of Chester­field, SC the Emperor drove through the 64,000 mile mark. We have eaten out twice today, but I can’t talk about it because I just got through watch­ing Feast­ing on Asphalt II. They spent two days around New Orleans and what they got to eat made any­thing I had today look and taste like soggy Ritz crackers.

Spent Today: $49.70
Year to Date: $1713.42
Meals out, 99 of a pos­si­ble 642.

At Cousin Laurie’s house we meet up with some of the same cast of char­ac­ters as you can see in this photo, AKA the Mid­loth­ian McGraths, who were vis­it­ing as well. I found out that I had mis­la­beled the old­est and mid­dle daugh­ters in the photo. I’m pretty sure I’ve got them cor­rect now.

We snagged 4 Post Offices this morn­ing on the way up to Chester­field; Hop­kins, Gads­den, Eas­t­over and Hor­a­tio. The first three have been at the top of our Most Wanted List for a cou­ple months now, but because of where they are located (in the mid­dle of, and on the way to, nowhere) it took a con­certed effort to get them pho­tographed. We are plan­ning on an even dozen for on the way home tomor­row because if we get that many our cap­tured total would be a nice round 200.

Started down, went up, back down, up again, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 309

16 & 1

PaxvilleWe hunted loads of Post Offices today while com­ing back from Flo­rence. Found all 17 loca­tions we were look­ing for, but it turns out one place wasn’t a PO any­more. At the inter­sec­tion of US15 and SC261, AKA Paxville, SC, there was a con­ve­nience store at the cor­rect address with a really cool mural on the side, but the only rem­nants of postal activ­ity was a faded Blue Mail Box out front squeezed between an empty news­pa­per box and an over­flow­ing trash can. There was no out­ward signs pro­claim­ing that is was a Post Office. I went inside and looked around, there were no inter­nal signs either, not even a “Buy Stamps Here” sticker on the cash reg­is­ter. Other than that, we had quite the pro­duc­tive day. We trav­eled around 250 miles to go the 130 miles between Flo­rence and Aiken because of all the zig-zagging around.

Even though it was only 11:30 we decided to eat lunch in San­tee because it was prob­a­bly the last civ­i­liza­tion we would see until we got back to Aiken. We actu­ally pulled into the Cracker Bar­rel park­ing lot before mak­ing a hasty retreat to a Maurice’s BBQ next door. Donna kind of wanted soup, but I didn’t really want to eat at the CB at all. I guess she took pity on me. I had a Lit­tle Joe Bas­ket and she had a Gar­den Salad and a side of Chicken Ten­ders. She had water to drink while I sipped some south­ern nec­tar, Sweet Ice Tea.

Meal Cost: $17.36
Tip: $2.00
Spent Today: $19.36
Year to Date: $1732.78
Meals out, 101 of a pos­si­ble 645.

We had break­fast out to, but it was free. Donna had Bis­cuits & Gravy with a cou­ple of mini blue­berry muffins and I had a bowl of Raisin Bran and a Cin­na­mon Bun for dessert. That’s right, we Stayed Smart©.

I’ve got Saturday’s four Post Offices up in the gallery, but it will prob­a­bly take me a few days to get today’s online.

When I got home I gave the Emperor a well deserved bath.

Started up, went down, back up, down again, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 312

Weekend’s Postal Safari Outake

Is Donna say­ing, “Hey look at me.” or “Come on, take the pic­ture already.” ?

Dalzell, SC

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 314

Over the Limit

Cameron, SC With this past weekend’s excur­sion we now have 204 Post Offices. Not yet half but get­ting there. I have them all up in my gallery, but I don’t have any cap­tions for the last dozen or so (yet.) I have also been post­ing the pho­tos on Flickr! to give them a lit­tle more expo­sure and they have that neat-o map thing. Plus there is a group ded­i­cated to just U.S. Post Offices that I’ve been adding too.

When I uploaded the last of the pho­tos to Flickr! today I went over the limit, seems that all you get is 200 pho­tos with the free mem­ber­ship. When you add a new pic­ture, one falls off the back. The pho­tos are still there on the site, but you can’t see them unless you know the photo’s URL. They also don’t dis­play on my map any­more (I really liked that fea­ture), but remain vis­i­ble in the U.S. Post Office group.

The cost to upgrade to the Pro level is $24.95 a year. If it was more like ten bucks I’d jump at it, but I’m not so sure I want to spend that much. I’ll prob­a­bly just quit upload­ing the Post Office pho­tos there. There is the option of adding another free account, but I’m going to have to end up with 3 of them to do all the 460 South Car­olina Post Offices. Of course if some one were to give me a Gift Upgrade

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 316

Ouch

This after­noon while cut­ting through a depart­ment in the back to get up to my office I got an owee. There was a stack of palettes in the “aisle” and I dodged left to go around them. I moved a lit­tle too far left and scrapped my arm on the wall. After about 10 step fur­ther along I thought to myself that hurt. When I looked down I was bleed­ing pretty good from a sil­ver dol­lar sized scrape on my left fore­arm. I stopped in the next restroom I passed and ran it under a faucet. Ooooh. Wet some paper tow­els and pressed hard for a while. Still bleed­ing, I guess I bet­ter go see the nurse.

She took a look, hmmm’d, donned the rub­ber gloves and spent the next 5 min­utes spray­ing on some sort of “Stop Bleed­ing Pow­der” and did man­age to get it down to just weep­ing. Cov­ered the crater with a big gob of antibi­otic cream and wrapped it in gauze, all held in place by a magenta piece of that crinkly stretch ban­dage. It took about 40 min­utes before the red spot on the gauze stopped expanding.

Because it hap­pened at work there were forms to be filled out and now because I admit­ted that I hadn’t had a tetanus shot since some­time in the 80’s I get to have her drive me to the “com­pany” doc­tor tomor­row for said shot.

We went out to Chi­nese buf­fet for lunch today.

Meal Cost: $12.31
Tip: $1.69
Spent Today: $14.00
Year to Date: $1746.78
Meals out, 102 of a pos­si­ble 654.

Fin­ished my tenth Spenser book today, Play­mates, and didn’t find any Crime Buster Rules. Although in chap­ter 13 there is a state­ment that might have been called one: When in doubt do some­thing, and hope if you keep doing it you’ll come to under­stand what it is. Later in the book Spenser gets called into the Boston Police sta­tion where there are an assort­ment of agen­cies rep­re­sented (a cou­ple being reoc­cur­ring char­ac­ters) and is asked if he knew why he was called in. To which he replies,“I assumed you were hold­ing a crime stop­pers sem­i­nar and wanted me to lecture.”

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 317

Lost Time

Yes­ter­day at 2:35 PM I scraped my arm.The nurse and I spent 20 min­utes treat­ing it. We then spent the next 15 min­utes exam­in­ing the scene of the crime and recre­at­ing the event. We then called in the main­te­nance super­vi­sor to have him look at the offend­ing junc­tion box cover and he then got a main­te­nance guy to remove the cover, smooth off the sharp edge and then replace it. Another 30 min­utes used up. From there we ended up in my boss’s office while he, the nurse, and I filled out the acci­dent report, spend­ing another half hour. Pretty much killing the rest of the work day.

Today the nurse spent almost 2–1/2 hours with me, dri­ving me to two dif­fer­ent doctor’s offices, so I could get my tetanus shot. (At the first place we went, the front office per­son “couldn’t get me in the com­puter”, so we left after an hour.) Back at the plant we spent the next 45 min­utes together to 1) re ban­dage the cut because the doc­tor did a lack­lus­ter job after he spent all of 10 sec­onds look­ing at it, 2) fill­ing out the appro­pri­ate paper­work to have me take a drug test and 3) me pee­ing in a cup and her test­ing it. Later my boss brought around the acci­dent report for me to sign (anther 2 min­utes, but who knows how long it took to com­plete it.)

Next week the Direc­tor of Oper­a­tions, the Facil­i­ties Man­ager, the HR Man­ager, my super­vi­sor, his Man­ager, the super­vi­sor of the depart­ment I was pass­ing through and his man­ager will meet to dis­cuss how to pre­vent this from hap­pen­ing again. More than likely after all of these folks spend an hour in a room, a main­te­nance man will be dis­patched to reroute the offend­ing junc­tion box and it’s asso­ci­ated con­duit, another main­te­nance man will be dis­patched to place yel­low tape on the floor to des­ig­nate an offi­cial aisle and the depart­ment super­vi­sor will spend a half an hour instruct­ing his peo­ple not to place pal­lets in the new aisle.

This was not con­sid­ered a lost time acci­dent, even though over 8 man hours have been spent on it so far, with lots more to come, because I did not “miss” any work.

As a bonus, as far as OSHA is con­cerned it is not a record­able acci­dent because I did not require stitches, x-rays, or antibi­otics (tetanus shots don’t count) so our company’s acci­dent free hours num­bers don’t get reset.

Started up, went down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 319

Gone Fishing

Four mar­ried guys go fish­ing. After an hour, the fol­low­ing con­ver­sa­tion took place:

First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fish­ing this week­end. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.”

Sec­ond guy: “That is noth­ing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.”

Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.”

They con­tinue to fish. When they real­ized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. “You haven’t said any­thing about what you had to do to be able to come fish­ing this week­end. What’s the deal?”

Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said, “Fish­ing or Sex?” and she said, “Wear sun-block.”

Call Me Ungrateful

I sold the Cam­corder to a co-worker.

Fin­ished my 11th Spenser book and didn’t find any­thing resem­bling a Crime Buster Rule.

The cut on my arm doesn’t look nearly as bad as I thought.

Added another old chest­nut to the Joke Page.

Got 30 sec­onds of very loud belt squeal back­ing out of the garage this morn­ing (and the A/C wasn’t even on.)

I have fin­ished burn­ing all the com­mer­cial CDs of my col­lec­tion (prob­a­bly have 30 home­made mix discs yet to do.)

I should be writ­ing up the MMC Meet­ing Min­utes, but instead I’m writ­ing this trumpery.

Due to pop­u­lar demand I will no longer be keep­ing track of our meals out. If we inter­po­late, the totals for 2008 would be $2898.07 spent on 170 meals eaten out of 1095 possible.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 321

Foxhounds

Roberto Hernandez StadiumFor­tu­nately for us a thun­der storm blew through town this after­noon and cooled our tem­per­a­tures way down into the lower 90’s so we could go out this evening. Because…

…tonight was ASCO Valve Mini Bat Give­away night and every­one in the com­pany who wanted to go got two free tick­ets to the game. Get­ting in was free, but we spent $22 on con­ces­sions. The home team Fox­hounds were win­ning over the vis­it­ing Char­lotte County (FL) Red­fish 5–3 when we left in the top of the 9th.

We went for a short bike ride this morn­ing and ended up for break­fast at the same old place. Brought some bagels home for Sunday’s morn­ing meal too.

Started up, went down, back up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 324

That Old Sinking Feeling

Night BallThe FRS’s lead in the east has shrunk to 4 games with today’s loss and Yan­kee win, but I’m not wor­ried, there are only 45 games left in the sea­son so there is no way the Yan­kees can catch them. Right. Their Magic Num­ber is just 42.

I pre­dicted that the lead would be down to 5 at the end of last month, I was wrong, but I don’t think I’ll be wrong this time when I say this, “The Red Sox will not be in first place in the East­ern Divi­sion of the Amer­i­can League on Sep­tem­ber 1st.”

Maybe if we had more games against the Aiken Foxhounds…

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 324

So Long V570, We Barely Knew Ya

I’ve only had it since the begin­ning of last April and have shot a lit­tle over 2800 pho­tos, but my desire for some­thing with a longer zoom and some image sta­bi­liza­tion has led me to pull the trig­ger on a DMC-TZ3A. It’s blue, so you know it will be tak­ing more col­or­ful pic­tures than the ones you are used to see­ing around here.

Financed through the sale of the cam­corder and the fish I have on the line for the V570. I say fish, but actu­ally he is get­ting a great deal because new that cam­era is still sell­ing in the mid two hun­dred range, with refurbs going for $60 bucks more than what I want for it.

ETA next Tuesday.

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 326

Not Actually A Mod, But More Like Service

Dutch HyroglephicsHad some new shock absorbers installed today. At 63k miles they were not entirely shot, they were def­i­nitely worn, judg­ing by the improved feel on the drive home. They were yel­low Koni Sport adjustable shocks, so they were not an equal swap, but more of an improvement.

When the shock replace­ment was being planned I con­sid­ered pur­chas­ing some low­er­ing springs to get rid of the fist sized gap between the tire and fender lip. After copi­ous read­ing in the Miata Forum Sus­pen­sion and Han­dling sec­tion I decided that because this is the “fam­ily” car and it is already a close call clear­ing dead pos­sums in the road that I would choose func­tion over style and keep the stock springs and their “high” ride height.

When I picked up the car after the install it actu­ally looked like the ride height had increased. When I got home I mea­sured it and sure enough the gap was now a 1/2″ more than it was before. Because that dimen­sion is deter­mined by the spring not the shock I was curi­ous. So I asked over on the forum and got a reas­sur­ing response that that is nor­mal and the car will set­tle back down to where it was in short order.

Started down, went up, went down, back up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 330

Lucky Winner

A crusty old man walks into the local First Bap­tist Church and says to the Sec­re­tary,” I would like to join this damn church.”

The aston­ished woman replies, “I beg your par­don, sir. I must have mis­un­der­stood you. What did you say?”

Lis­ten up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!”

I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of lan­guage is not tol­er­ated in this Church.”

The sec­re­tary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her sit­u­a­tion. The pas­tor agrees that the sec­re­tary does not have to lis­ten to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the pas­tor asks the old geezer, “Sir, what seems to be the prob­lem here?”

There is no damn prob­lem,” the man says. “I just won $200 mil­lion bucks in the damn lot­tery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money.”

I see,” said the pas­tor, “and is this bitch giv­ing you a hard time?”

Oak Alley

Oak Alley Plan­ta­tion, an ante­bel­lum Mis­sis­sippi River man­sion in Vacherie, LA. From an old slide of mine I scanned. The slide was so dusty that the only way to make a pre­sentable image was to run PSP’s dark scratch removal tool which made the image look painted, so I just enhanced that thought with a Paint Engine filter.

Oak Alley

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 331

The Koala & The Little Lizard

A koala is sit­ting up a gum tree smok­ing a joint when a lit­tle lizard walks past and looks up and says “Hey Koala! What are you doing?”

The koala says: “Smok­ing a joint, come up and have some.”

So the lit­tle lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few tokes.

After a while the lit­tle lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river. The lit­tle lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A croc­o­dile sees this, swims over to the lit­tle lizard, helps him to the side and asks the lit­tle lizard, “What’s the mat­ter with you?”

The lit­tle lizard explains to the croc­o­dile that he was sit­ting smok­ing a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while tak­ing a drink.

The croc­o­dile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain for­est, finds the tree where the koala is sit­ting fin­ish­ing a joint, and he looks up and says, “Hey Koala!”

So the koala looks down at him and says: “Shi­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­i­iit dude.…..how much water did you drink???”

You Can Dance If You Want To, But I Don’t Have To Watch

Because the FRS have the evening off I had noth­ing bet­ter to do than watch a lit­tle tube. We started to watch Fever Pitch and made it a whole 34 min­utes before shut­ting it off. Part of the prob­lem was the whole lan­guage prob­lem you see, it was not the Drew Bary­more / Jimmy Fal­lon Amer­i­can ver­sion, but the orig­i­nal British movie. Maybe if they had Amer­i­can Eng­lish sub-titles…

From there I started to watch a Law & Order episode that was about 5 min­utes in. I had seen it before, but as usual didn’t remem­ber the end­ing, so I watched it through. Beau­ti­ful thing of it is, that in another year or so if I stum­ble on that episode again, I’ll have for­got­ten it again, so the end­ing will be a sur­prise. Again.

Right after that, TNT segued right into another L & O episode. This one I hadn’t seen, so I watched it for the first time. It started out with a thinly dis­guised re-hashing of that poor Cubs fan in 2004 who tried to catch a foul ball and was then sub­se­quently blamed for them not mak­ing the play­offs. It later turned into a whole cor­rupt police offi­cer and DNA clear­ing a wrongly accused mur­der, yada, yada, yada. Beau­ti­ful thing of it is that in another year or so if I stum­ble on that episode again, I’ll have for­got­ten it, so the end­ing will be a sur­prise. Again.

Two hours of TV was enough, even when it is “good” TV, so I handed the remote to Donna and picked up a book. She started chan­nel check­ing while I read with one eye and watched the flash­ing images with my other. She paused on some­thing I didn’t rec­og­nize, (The TV list­ings say it was Super­nat­ural, but I can’t con­firm or deny that because I am not famil­iar with the show.) and I looked up for a sec­ond and said that I thought that a cou­ple of the peo­ple in it looked famil­iar. She tired of what­ever it was and clicked to the next chan­nel. Two peo­ple were salsa danc­ing? It was Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance? I made a smart aleck crack like, “There’s some­thing I *don’t* want to be famil­iar with.” She laughed and changed the chan­nel. Wouldn’t you know it but the next chan­nel was PBS and they were show­ing Live From Lin­coln Cen­ter : “Mozart Dances” The Mark Mor­ris Dance Group per­forms… We both looked at each other and thought the same sar­cas­tic thought, only I voiced it, “Now there is some­thing I *want* to be famil­iar with.”

Next up, was the Weather Chan­nel. There was a mete­o­rol­o­gist in a park­ing lot in San Anto­nio stand­ing in a dry park­ing lot wav­ing his hands vaguely stage left telling us how much water used to be there. Riv­et­ing. That’s when I left the room.

With apolo­gies to Men With­out Hats: We Can’t Dance If We Want To

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 333

End of Summer

End of SummerTech­ni­cally we still have over a month and here in Aiken we have more like two months before the sum­mer like weather is gone, but today was the last week day before school starts. Come Mon­day morn­ing the com­mute to work be 20x more aggra­vat­ing as har­ried moms or dads drive their prog­eny to the hal­lowed halls of learning.

To cel­e­brate the last work day of light traf­fic roads we rode the tan­dem to work today.

We’ll still ride the bike to work occa­sion­ally because we only have to share the school road with cars for about 30 yards (although it is uphill and seems like 50.) But we will now be alter­nat­ing our car drive to work. On the weeks we go in early we will drive the more rural route because we are ear­lier than the school traf­fic, but the other week we will alter the route to include the four lane US 1 avoid­ing that traf­fic nightmare.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 333

Miss Me?

Scotia, SC 29939I missed you?

At some­what the last minute we decided to head south to take some Post Office pic­tures. Found a HI Express in a town called Yemassee and made a reser­va­tion. It wasn’t until we got there that I won­dered if they had Inter­net access in the rooms. If it didn’t I’d be fine with that, I brought a book. Well, it turns out that there was wire­less access, but because we were at the end of the hall it was weak as a kit­ten. After I gave up, Donna got the Weather Chan­nel to load, but it appeared as if we were on a 14.4 modem (and then wouldn’t stay con­nected.) So we gave up.

Post­ing this on Sun­day, but dat­ing it Sat­ur­day for his­tor­i­cal top tran­si­sion data.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 335

65,000 Cars Backed Up on I-95

Crocketville?We are at 221 South Car­olina Post Offices. About half. I say about because when I started this and made up my spread­sheet of all the POs in the state I came up with 460. How accu­rate that total will turn out to be is not clear. Ther are 9 mil­i­tary bases that I’m not sure I will be allowed to waltz onto to just take a pic­ture. There is a Green­wood Post Office I know exists, but isn’t on the list because it is not listed on USPS.com. How many more are there that I don’t know about? How many are listed and aren’t there anymore?

So far, four are MIA, includ­ing the one that is sup­posed to be at 4708 Sandy Run Road (see attached photo) that we tried to find today. On the USPS web site this is called a Hamp­ton Post Office, with a name of Crock­etville. As you can see it doesn’t look much like a Post Office. Prob­a­bly was one when Crock­etville was a real town and not just a marked sec­tion on SC63 east of Hamp­ton, but no more.

There are 3 Post Offices listed for Wal­ter­boro, two of which are north of town and not too far off I-95, so it was decided to get these two before get­ting the down­town PO. The best laid plans… We got on I-95 head­ing north and after a 1/2 mile there were orange signs warn­ing of an acci­dent ahead. Then we got one of those dis­play boards that said there was a detour around the acci­dent at the next exit. Then with three miles to go to the exit, traf­fic came to a stand­still. We crept along with 65,000 other cars to the next exit. Donna sug­gested we give up on this PO because of the traf­fic, so we got off the north­bound exit, looped right back on the south­bound and shelved those Post Offices for another time.

Our other fail­ure this week­end occurred in Beau­fort on Lady’s Island. We couldn’t find the address of 10 Sams Point Rd. There was a shop­ping cen­ter with a Pub­lix that might have been it, but there was not any USP sig­nage out front (nor an address either.) There was a shop­ping cen­ter kind of par­al­lel but it was on a dif­fer­ent road. We looked there and didn’t find any­thing either. Now that we are home and see that that road is called Sams Point Park­way it may need another visit. This is not a hard­ship in any way because this is just a stone’s throw away from the other rea­son we went south to Beau­fort besides Post Offices, Bar­bara Jean’s crab cakes.

About 10 miles from home the Emperor passed through 65,000 miles.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 337

Infedelity Uncovered

A man return­ing home a day early from a busi­ness trip got into a taxi at the air­port. It was after mid­night. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a wit­ness as he sus­pected his wife was hav­ing an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Qui­etly arriv­ing at the house, the hus­band and cabby tip­toed into the bed­room. The hus­band switched on the lights, yanked the blan­ket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The hus­band put a gun to the naked man’s head.

The wife shouted, “Don’t do it! This man has been very gen­er­ous! I lied when I told you I inher­ited money. He paid for the new golf clubs I bought you. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our coun­try club mem­ber­ship, and he even pays the monthly dues!”

Shak­ing his head from side-to-side, the hus­band slowly low­ered the gun. He looked over at the cab dri­ver and said, “What would you do?”

The cabby said, “I’d cover him up with that blan­ket before he catches a cold.”

Long and Winding Road

Back at the end of April the badges on the back of the Emperor came off or were removed and I have never done any­thing about it. I tossed around a cou­ple of ideas, like stick­ers or cus­tom let­ter­ing, but a cou­ple of weeks ago I hit on an idea that seemed just off­beat enough for me to try, Pon­tiac Sol­stice badges. I fig­ured with all the Miata enthu­si­asts tak­ing their badges off, there were bound to be a few Sol­stice own­ers doing the same. Off to the nation’s flea mar­ket, eBay.

There were no Pon­tiac Sol­stice badges for sale, but I did find some old script style badges that say Ford & Deluxe. Hey, Ford owns a con­trol­ling inter­est in Mazda… And for 98¢ plus ship­ping, how could I go wrong?

Well, ship­ping was $6.40 for Postal Ser­vice Pri­or­ity Mail 2–3 day deliv­ery and maybe I wouldn’t have taken umbrage with how long it took the items to get to me if the item and ship­ping prices were reversed:

Auc­tion Ended, 3:16 pm, August 05, 2007
Pay­paled Seller, 10:43 am, August 06, 2007
Elec­tronic Ship­ping Info Received, August 09, 2007
Mailed, August 10, 2007, MURRIETTA, CA 92653
Enroute, August 13, 2007, 11:57 pm, BELL, CA 90201
Enroute, August 18, 2007, 9:28 am, ATLANTA, GA 30369
Pack­age arrived, August 20, 2007 4:30 pm

My new cam­era is doing some trav­el­ing too.

MISSOULA, MT — 8/15/2007
BILLINGS, MT — 8/16/2007
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — 8/17/2007
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — 8/20/2007
LEXINGTON, KY — 8/21/07
GREENSBORO, NC — 8/21/2007
WEST COLUMBIA, SC — 8/21/2007
AIKEN, SC — 8/22/2007

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 339

Armadillo on the Half Shell

Hampton OuttakeI was tempted to use this for the Hamp­ton Post Office, but in the end decided to go con­ven­tional. I’ve got all last weekend’s PO pho­tos up in the gallery and on Flickr!, but no descrip­tions yet. Except for the Port Royal one where I couldn’t resist a TDPM quote.

In our back road trav­els we pass a bit of road kill now and again, some­times the turkey vul­tures are cir­cling and oth­ers they are already gath­ered around the “meal.” This Sun­day was a new one though. A hun­dred yards ahead of us there was one big black bird off the side of the road in a half a foot tall grass. As we approached him his head ducked down and he started to back out into the road. At 50 yards away with a mighty back­wards hop the vul­ture drops some­thing big and flies up into a nearby tree. At 25 yards away we can see that the bird’s prize, now lay­ing about a foot into our lane, is a very dead, but intact armadillo. I’m guess­ing that he/she couldn’t get at the good stuff, so it dragged the hard shelled ani­mal into the traf­fic lane so a car would come by and hit it cre­at­ing instant Armadillo on the Half Shell.

I swerved to avoid the armadillo and thereby foiled it’s plan.

Started up, went down, back up, down again, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 342

Philanthropic Lawyer

One after­noon a lawyer was rid­ing in his lim­ou­sine when he saw two men along the road­side eat­ing grass. Dis­turbed, he ordered his dri­ver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, “Why are you eat­ing grass?”

We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied, “We have to eat grass.”

Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.

But sir, I have a wife and two chil­dren with me. They are over there, under that tree.”

Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.

Turn­ing to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us, too.”

The sec­ond man, in a piti­ful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX chil­dren with me!”

Bring them all, as well,” the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the lim­ou­sine was.

Once under­way, one of the poor fel­lows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for tak­ing all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”

Beaufort Mermaids

Mermaid de LiberteCar­olina Car Trek has fallen back a notch and Beaufort’s Big Swim is now in sec­ond place on the Bog­a­rdi must-see-‘em-all list (right after SC Post Offices.) And not just because the Mer­maids are sans cloth­ing, but mostly because the base of the cars is a 55 gal­lon drum that makes the whole thing look like a pub­lic trash bin with a funky top.

The new cam­era is here and I’m busy mon­key­ing with it. I’ve taken about 20 pic­tures try­ing stuff out and so far absolutely none are worth sav­ing, let alone post­ing here. Too bad I’ve stopped keep­ing score on the meals out thing because now I could have posted mar­velous pic­tures to go with the prices because this cam­era has a spe­cial “Food” setting.

As much as I hated the Kodak Easyshare soft­ware, it made short work of trans­fer­ring pic­tures from the cam­era to the PC. This cam­era came with a cou­ple dif­fer­ent pro­grams for cam­era to PC con­nec­tion and I hated the first one I tried, Lumix Sim­ple Viewer, but the sec­ond one, Photo Fun Stu­dio, seems a lit­tle bet­ter. One other thing the Kodak cam­era made sim­ple was keep­ing the bat­ter charged, it hap­pened auto­mat­i­cally every time the cam­era was in the dock. The Pana­sonic came with a sep­a­rate bat­tery charger, but you have to remove the bat­tery from the cam­era to charge it. There is an optional AC adapter (DMW-AC5PP), but it doesn’t even charge the bat­tery, it just runs the cam­era. Def­i­nitely won’t be get­ting that because they want $80 for it.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 343

Retired Post Office

Old Walterboro Post OfficeThis is obvi­ously Walterboro’s old Post Office just from the archi­tec­ture of the build­ing and it must still be mis­taken for an active one, even though the “new” PO looks about 10–15 years old, because there is a sign in one of the win­dows of the door that says, “Post Office Is Three Doors Down!” with an arrow point­ing to the right.

I just fin­ished “Sud­den Mis­chief” (my 14th Spenser novel, 21 to go) and got another Crime Buster Tip. It is actu­ally called:

Spenser’s Tips For Suc­cess­ful Gumshoe-ing #6: If noth­ing is hap­pen­ing and you haven’t any idea what you’re doing, go some­place and sit and look at some­thing and await devel­op­ments.
   Sub­para­graph A: Most good detec­tives bring some cof­fee and a few donuts with them.

There was already one num­bered #6, “Go with the flow.” from Bad Busi­ness, but it was called #6 on the Spenser Crime Stop­per List.

We have had an Amazon.com credit card for awhile now, we got it because we got 30% off a pur­chase if we opened an account, but never used it again after that pur­chase. Recently we started using it again because they offered a really low rate on bal­ance trans­fers until they are paid off. We took our nor­mal CC with a higher inter­est rate and paid it off with the Ama­zon one. As with most cards there is some sort of rewards pro­gram, but I never paid atten­tion to it because it was a non-factor in choos­ing the card, plus I never expected to use it again.

Yes­ter­day I got a $25 Amazon.com reward cer­tifi­cate in the mail for pass­ing some mile­stone of con­sumerism and promptly spent it (plus $8 more) on 6 used Spenser nov­els in a mix of hard­cover and paper­backs. That will bring my total Spenser library to 20. I had bet­ter hurry and get those last 15, because on Octo­ber 23rd I’ll get one more book behind when the next Spenser story, Now & Then is pub­lished. (source Robert B. Parker’s Blog)

Started up, went down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 345

Missing Post Office Found

Almost, we still have to drive over there and cap­ture it, but I have direc­tions to the long lost Hilda Post Office.

After not being able to find the one in Paxville three weeks ago, my more intel­li­gent half sug­gested that I go ahead and write to the Post­mas­ter of the miss­ing POs and ask where they are. I didn’t fig­ure it would work but what did I have to lose, but a cou­ple 41¢ stamps. Two weeks ago I addressed a short note request­ing direc­tions to the Post Offices in Paxville and Hilda. I addressed the envelopes sim­ply Post­mas­ter, name of town and zip code. Inside the enve­lope was that short note and a SASE. Two days ago I received a reply from Hilda. There was a crude but effec­tive map added to the bot­tom of my note along with these instruc­tions: “The Hilda Post Office is located inside a car garage store.”

I remem­ber the build­ing and it has no out­ward sign that it is in fact a Post Office. We may ride over there tomor­row dur­ing the morn­ing when they should be open and see what we can see.

Rode the tan­dem to work today, now 2 Fri­days in a row, and about halfway there the head­light started to fade fast. For­tu­nately it was light enough to see, but unfor­tu­nately it was worth­less in let­ting oncom­ing traf­fic know we were there. We have had the Night Hawk Dual w/SLA for a half dozen years or so and I afraid the bat­ter­ies are shot because they no longer stay bright for even the 30 minute com­mute. They sell replace­ment bat­ter­ies for $50 each, but that sounds steep when you can get new, brighter and lighter tech­nol­ogy for around twice that. Of course $50 is pretty cost effec­tive if we can get another 6 years out of that investment…

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 346

Two Saturday’s In A Row

The Elusive Hilda Post OfficeDidn’t post last night, not because the wire­less con­nec­tion was crap in my room like last week, it was fine because we were home, but because it was such a full day and we got home too late to blog about it.

In the morn­ing Donna and I went on a drive to pho­to­graph a half dozen Post Offices. In one I had to use the Emperor’s Mini Me because it was inside a build­ing with no out­side indi­ca­tion it was a PO and another that will have to be re shot on another trip that way because there were too many peo­ple in lawn chairs in front wait­ing for a parade.

True to the Postmaster’s let­ter the Post Office in Hilda was inside a car garage store. There was lit­tle sec­tion just inside the front door on the left that was set aside for that offi­cial func­tion. If you look towards the bot­tom of the photo right next to a fuel fil­ter is the Match­box Gar­net Red Miata. The other side was the cashier for the garage. Coin­ci­dently when we pulled up there was a white 1st Gen Miata just out­side one of the garage doors with it’s hood up being worked on.

When we entered the town lim­its of Ehrhardt, SC the town sign said “Home of the Schuet­zen­fest.” I won­dered to my self what that might be and when they held it. The answer to the sec­ond ques­tion was answered when we got to the inter­sec­tion of US601 & SC64. There were peo­ple every­where. The road was not blocked yet, but you could tell that peo­ple were stak­ing out spots to watch a parade. The Schuet­zen­fest was today. How lucky could we be? Well, not so lucky, the Post Office was nowhere near the south end of town where the Google map thought it should be. We parked the car on a par­al­lel street to the parade route and did a walk through. Found the PO and it was 100 feet from the cen­ter of all the action. This photo would have to wait for another day. The answer to the sec­ond ques­tion had to wait until we got home and checked Wikipedia. Leave it to South Car­olina to mis­spell it and homog­e­nize it to look like another “fes­ti­val” with blow-up kids enter­tain­ment thin­gies, crafts for sale and deep fried dough.

When we got home we had some lunch and I went out­side to wash the car for a cou­ple of Miata events for that after­noon & evening. First up was the annual Sno-Cap Drive-In Anniver­sary hang out in the park­ing lot. Donna stayed home from this one as it was hot as the dick­ens and there is lit­tle place to hide from it over there, plus it is just a bunch of cars with a bunch of car guys stand­ing around talk­ing about cars. On the way over I found out how it looks to have a water­fall cas­cade over the wind­shield header. It looked a lit­tle hazy ahead and I didn’t didn’t see any oncom­ing cars with wipers on, so it couldn’t be rain. Wrong oh. It was a pop up thun­der­shower and it hap­pened so fast I had no time to pre­pare. Most times if you hit a shower and it is not too heavy the best defense is to roll up the win­dows and keep mov­ing. This was no one of those times. Trav­el­ing at 60 MPH in a del­uge just results in there being enough water and force behind it to make it come rolling over the wind­shield. After about a minute or so it was safe to pull over so I could get the top up, of course I had the boot on which just caused more of a delay in get­ting every thing closed up. The inte­rior and myself were soaked. Almost turned around and went home, but see­ing as I was halfway to the Cap I went any­way. About 2 miles later the storm was gone and the skies were blue so I dropped the top again hop­ing the sun would help dry every­thing out. Five miles later when I got to the Drive-In the only way to tell I had got­ten drenched was the pud­dle of water sur­round­ing the shift boot and the damp side of my cloth­ing that I was sit­ting on. The whole hour and a half I was at the Sno-Cap it didn’t rain a drop, but wouldn’t you know it, a cou­ple miles into the drive home it started to rain again and it kept it up for the rest of the trip. This time I was ready, I put the top up before I even left the Cap’s park­ing lot.

I had just enough time when I got home to dry off the recently washed car and lis­ten to 4 innings of the FRS whoop up on the Chicago White Sox before head­ing back out the door for the MMC’s Bug Splat Rally which I run. We had a good turn out (for our lit­tle club) with 9 cars at the restau­rant. Eight of which went on the run. The bugs were not so coop­er­a­tive though, there were a lot of clean Miata noses at the Dairy Queen fin­ish. There were a few large splats, but the biggest bug tro­phy went to a car that came back with a large mos­quito plas­tered near their turn sig­nal. The high­light for us was the medium M&M Bliz­zard we split.

This morn­ing we went out and did a 13 mile ride on the tan­dem, the first 50 feet my butt protested the return of the bicy­cles seat so soon after Friday’s ride, but I showed it who was the boss by con­tin­u­ing on. In truth that was partly the rea­son we did go for a ride today, because all we have been doing is short and very infre­quent rides the lim­it­ing fac­tor in our enjoy­ment is uncom­fort­able sit­ting. Most peo­ple who start bike rid­ing as an adult think that the rea­son their hiney hurts is they need a wider, cushier trac­tor seat, but what they really need is miles. I don’t know what really hap­pens, but it is like form­ing cal­louses on your hands from doing man­ual labor. If you are sit­ting cor­rectly on a mod­ern lightly padded skinny seat after a while of rid­ing your sit bones won’t bother you even on very long rides.

After rid­ing we did our weekly gro­cery shop­ping and were home and in the house for good by 10:30 AM.

I was pleas­antly sur­prised by Stranger Than Fic­tion that we watched this after­noon, it would have been per­fect if not for the happy end­ing, I would have given it a 10 out of ten, had it stopped right after the bus acci­dent part.

Started down, went up, back down, up for the del­uge, back down to dry out, up again, down once more, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 352

Could I Have Helped To Stop This…

Brian at Twenty…if Donna and I had had kids? Red­heads Set For Extinc­tion? (via Mis­sives Anony­mous) That’s me on the right at the age of twenty. Llighten up on the shirt OK, it was 1975.

I guess I should have saved some of yesterday’s long winded nar­ra­tive for today so I’d have some­thing to say tonight. How’s this for not so inter­est­ing: I’ve got a line on get­ting rid of the CD col­lec­tion. A coworker is into buy­ing at yard sales and sell­ing at flea mar­kets to make some extra money. He knows some­one who spe­cial­izes in music and I might be able to dump the whole pile of 460 CDs on him for a quar­ter a piece. Thats $115 (I shud­der to think how much I spent to buy all those shiny plas­tic wheels) that will go towards buy­ing a DVD burner and a cou­ple of blank DVDs to back up the 25 Gigs worth of MP3s I’ve now got.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 353

This May Be My Last Post

After not hav­ing a sin­gle num­ber on my Power­ball ticket in last Saturday’s $300 mil­lion draw­ing, I feel I’m due to win the $250 mil­lion Mega Mil­lion draw­ing tonight.

If that hap­pens I am going to hire pro­fes­sional authors to ghost write my blog so I don’t have to hurt my head think­ing stuff up:
Mon­days will be han­dled by J.K. Rowl­ing
Tues­days will be penned by Stephen King
Wednes­days will be writ­ten by Dick Fran­cis
Thurs­days will be authored by Michael Crich­ton
Fri­days are going to be John Updike’s respon­si­bil­ity
and the week­ends will be the domain of Robert B. Parker

Enjoy.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 355

Just Means More For Me On Friday

Didn’t win the Mega Mil­lions, but no one else did either. That just means more for me to win on Friday…

I have learned to live with the squeal that hap­pens when the A/C com­pres­sor kicks in while accel­er­at­ing, but now I’ve got a new noise. It’s a squeak and it comes when I hit a rel­a­tively sharp bump. It is com­ing from the driver’s side and I think it is from the back (you never know with sounds.) Nat­u­rally hav­ing just had the shocks changed out the incli­na­tion is to think that maybe we didn’t get every­thing tight­ened down on them. The trou­ble with that is when the squeak occurs. It only hap­pens in the after­noon on the way home from work. Doesn’t hap­pen on the trip into work and we just made trip to the store tonight and it didn’t make a peep. It seems to be get­ting worse, today on the way home it squeaked on smaller bumps mak­ing it sound off more often. It doesn’t make sense, tem­per­a­ture related?

Started up, went down, back up, down again, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 358

That Hurt

SweptTues­day, August 28, 2007: MFY 5, FRS 3
Wednes­day, August 29, 2007: MFY 4, FRS 3
Thurs­day, August 30, 2007: MFY 5, FRS 0

The lead in the east is still 5 games, but lets hope the highly paid pro­fes­sional ath­letes that wear the uni­form of the Boston Red Sox aren’t as eas­ily depressed by these devel­ope­ments as I am…

Started down, went up, back down, up again, down, up, down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 364

Mainlining Spenser

I’ve now fin­ished 17 out of the 35 Spenser books. I’ve got two more books still on the way from my Ama­zon spend­ing spree of a week ago and I’ve still got one left to read of the four I’ve already received. Today we went to 3 used book stores, one in Aiken and two in Augusta and bought 6 more books includ­ing a good find of a paper­back reis­sue of #3 in the series, Mor­tal Stakes. his now leaves just 9 books in the series I don’t have.

Mor­tal Stakes is about Spenser and the 1975 Red Sox (with fic­ti­tious play­ers) so it is like get­ting two plea­sures for he price of one, even though I’m really not enam­ored with the FRS right now after their show­ing in the Bronx and tonight’s game, so far, against Baltimore.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 01/01/07: 365