The Hat

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn’t miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old man yelled to her, “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat.”

It’s a-quiverin’…

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the bakery, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread on the very top shelf, he politely says to the young woman, “I’d like some raisin bread, please.”

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view.

With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.

After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn’t placed an order yet. Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, “Is yours raisin, too?”

“No”, croaked the old man, “but it’s a-quiverin'”…

Lost Post

I had a really nice little election post almost all written when I accidentally hit the back button on my browser. Gone it is.

Oh well, I guess I’ll go put the
Don’t Blame Me…
I Voted For Bartlet
bumper sticker on the back of the Miata.

Apologies

I feel that I have to post something here tonight besides the joke from earlier. Although I found it extremely funny when I got it via email this morning, I don’t want all 4 of my readers to think that I didn’t take today’s election seriously. In yesterday’s post I recommended you vote an obscure 3rd party candidate, well that was sort of tongue-in-cheek and advice I didn’t follow. Although, I did vote for the candidate that every poll in the country is calling an obscure 2nd party candidate in South Carolina.

I just couldn’t endorse a man who got us into this Iraqi mess just because the whole middle east war thing worked so well for dad. Instead I picked a guy who supposedly roots for my favorite baseball team, but can’t name anyone on it (and when he tried he combined the first name and last name of two players) and when he threw out a ceremonial first pitch at a Yankee Red Sox game last July, used the pitching motion of a little girl and couldn’t even make it to the plate without bouncing it while throwing from in *front* of the mound.

I leave you with a quote George Will used to lead off his column in this week’s edition of Newsweek:

PRESIDENT,n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom, and of whom only, it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary” (1911)

Good Will Mud Flaps

To mount the small side sills I had to remove the perfectly good front mud flaps. Well they were no good to me any more, but they probably would be great for someone else with a Garnet Red Mica Miata. It did take too long to find a match, someone in Orlando, Florida will be the lucky recipient and all it will cost them is some postage. I saved all the hardware when I pulled them off, but I couldn’t really remember what went where at first. Then I went out to the garage and started to piece it all together and I’m pretty sure I got everything where it should go. The only problem is that the double sided tape has lost most of it’s stick when it was pulled off the car. Guess they’ll just have to go get a bit of it from an auto parts store.

A World Topsy Turvy

If things were as they should be, tonight would be game seven of the 2004 World Series where the Red Sox would lose and once again have been mere outs from being Champions. My whole world is upside down.

Thanks:
Bronson Arroyo
Mark Bellhorn
Orlando Cabrera
Johnny Damon
Alan Embree
Keith Foulke
Gabe Kapler
Curtis Leskanic
Derek Lowe
Pedro Martinez
Doug Mientkiewicz
Kevin Millar
Doug Mirabelli
Bill Mueller
Mike Myers
Trot Nixon
David Ortiz
Manny Ramirez
Pokey Reese
Dave Roberts
Curt Schilling
Mike Timlin
Jason Varitek
Tim Wakefield
Kevin Youkilis

And of course manager Terry Francona and coaches Ron Jackson, Lynn Jones, Brad Mills, Euclides Rojas, Dale Sveum, Dave Wallace.

Done

Jacked up one side of the car this morning and mounted the other side sill. Amazing how quickly the whole process goes when you know how to do it and have a nice sharp drill bit. I sprayed each hole drilled with some flat black rustoleum I had laying around. I’m sure some folks would have gone out and bought some nice zinc based primer (and still some people might have had the proper stuff to begin with) but because we don’t live in a state that has salted roads in the winter and my tenure with each Miata is about 7 years, I’m definitely not going to be worried about any rust. The effect is subtle, but in my humble opinion a nice improvement on the looks of the car.