I Am Brian’s Colon

Yesterday I had a colonoscopy boys and girls. You don’t need to look that up in any medical dictionary, colon + scope, means they were looking at my innards from the inside. The worse part is the prep. If you have had it done, you know what I’m talking about and if you haven’t, I don’t want to spoil the fun.

During the actual procedure they sedate you and depending on who you talk to who has had it done, that means anything from knocked out to partly aware. When the nurse put the needle full of fuzzy juice into the IV she said to me, “Now think of someplace pleasant you would like to be.” I started to decide which place I thought I would like when the next thing I knew I was coming to in the recovery area. And when I say coming to, I really mean just peeking my head above the fog.

The next few hours I was in and out. I remember my wife feeding me cookies and a Diet Dr. Pepper. My next memory is of being helped out of the wheelchair into the Miata. There is a brief window into lucidity at the CVS where I picked out a book to read. I remember reading some of it during my doctor prescribed bath. I read a little more on the couch before putting it down to go take a 2 hour nap. I was “sedated” at around 1:30 and it wasn’t until around 7:30 that continuous memory was regained. When I went in tonight to get the book I kind of figured that I would have to start all over reading it again, I did, but I didn’t have far to go, the dog eared page marking where I stopped last night was page number two.