Whatever

The Back Porch Is Open For Business

The Back Porch Is Open

Finally got around to washing off the screened porch last night. It goes like this: 1) remove all the knick-knacks from horizontal wood pieces, 2) cart out the 13 pieces of furniture and place them on the deck, 3) vacuum off the area rugs, 4) roll up rugs and carry them out onto the deck. Fifth is to drag a hundred foot of hose from the spigot on the left side of the house all the way around through the door on the right side of the porch, 6) spray through all the sections of screen and 7) thoroughly spray down the floor from the back left corner to the door on the right washing all the pine pollen and moth carcases out onto the deck and 8) turn the two ceiling fans on high and go inside to eat dinner.

After eating, go back outside to 9) bring back in and unroll the 2 area rugs. Next 10) individually spray and wipe off the baker’s dozen pieces of furniture, 11) shake off the excess water and place them back where they belong on the porch and then 11) repeat with the similar amount of fru-fru decorations.

Today I took all the cushions that I removed last fall back out and velcro’d and or tied on the furniture.

As a reward for reading all the way through that boring recitation, High Diving Giraffes:

httpvh://vimeo.com/76684408

Six Foot Tall

My height was listed as 5′-11″ on my very first driver’s license when I was sixteen. 6-00 is what it reads now on my current South Carolina driver’s license. I grew an inch in Navy boot camp and this height is what has been listed on every subsequent driver’s license, in whatever form required by any of the several states I’ve lived in since. In the intervening *cough* *cough* years I’m thinking that if measured it stocking feet today, I’d be back at the five foot eleven inch mark. In shoes though, still six foot even.

Back in May 2011 we bought a metal awning to park the Purple Whale under. The bottom edge of the powder coated mild steel side edge is 6′ 3″ from the surface of the driveway which allows for me to walk right under it. Normally. Sometimes I forget, like I did the day before yesterday, and step on the 3″ square tubing that serves as its base.

This caused me to bop the very tippy-top of my slightly pointed head. Fortunately I was wearing a hat so that instead of scraping off a dime sized layer of skin, I only ended up with a 1/4 inch long cut. Still it’s a head wound, so stopping the slight bit of bleeding took a while and a band aid.

In the past four years this happened with some regularity and you would think that I would avoid doing this and you’re right. I remember to step over the base or duck slightly when stepping on it for about two months, just about the time the previous wound heals.

Safety Poster

Forest Gump Safety PosterThis morning I was cleaning out some of my old files at work. Tossing out stuff from the previous century that were one-time things, stuff for people who have since retired and others that I can’t image I would be using as a template in the future.

About three year’s ago the Valve Store’s(tm) Ocupational Nurse held a little contest for employee suggestions for a new safety poster. So I worked up this cute little idea based on the movie poster for Forrest Gump and submitted it. I don’t remember what won, it wasn’t mine, so I’m sure it was fairly lame. 🙂

The only thing I can think of is they were afraid of a law suit from the legal department of Paramount Pictures. Or maybe the then nurse was smarter than she looked and saw through my sarcastic twist on the Forrest quote of, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Started down, went up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1466

Go Baby Part II

Last week I updated this blog’s NextGEN gallery software. After installation captions disappeared and thumbnails went all wonky. I downgraded to the previous revision, but the damage was done. Then I found a plugin called NextCellent Gallery that promised backwards compatibility with NextGEN. Once installed the caption issue was solved, but the thumbnails were still all wrong aspect-wise. So I have spent the last few days updating the 1,570 thumbnails in my 50 galleries.

Yesterday, in a brief respite from regenerating thumbnails, I did a couple loops of the neighborhood on rollerblades. While passing a middle-aged couple walking in the opposite direction from me, the woman smiled and said, “Go Navy!” I immediately flashed back to that moment in 2006…

Sunday

Water Tower Alternate

A 16 mile bike ride that accomplished bill paying and breakfast eating.
Home in time to watch CBS’s Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood.
I read a book made out of paper.
Wasted the rest of the day watching football.

Christmas Gift?

On our Christmas Day road trip, we stopped at a convenience store at the crossroads of No and Where for a snack and a restroom break. I opened the door to the single toilet Men’s Room and there was already someone in there, so I backed out saying I’m sorry. As I played back the scene in my mind’s eye, I realized he wasn’t going to the bathroom, he was dropping quarter’s in the condom machine.

I cooled my heels, inventorying the Lance crackers on a rack a few feet from the door, waiting for the guy to finish his “business” in there. As he walked by, tucking a small packet into his jacket’s inside pocket, I asked, “Going to get your Christmas present?” He shrugged and replied, “I hope so.”