Whatever

The Turner Housesitting Service

When one of our engineers heads back up north to visit family this time of year he gets programmer Mark to look after his house. Mark checks the mail, waters the plants and feeds the household menagerie. Last year when Tom and family returned they found all the light bulbs in the dining room hanging fixture were pink. As a bonus he placed a pink princess nightlight in the master bedroom.

This year Mark decided to elevate the madness just a bit. The night before they returned he placed a 18″ x 24″ yard sign on the front lawn. On the inside he placed a life size poster of himself in the master bath. And if that wasn’t enough, he placed a couple of the ThinkGeek Annoy-a-trons set to cricket strategically in the kitchen and in the upstairs bonus room.

The yard sign got an mildly amusing chuckle, the poster elicited a scream from the wife and the crickets almost prompted a call to the local pest control guy.

I’m thinking between this year and next, Tom will make friends with a neighbor that he can convince to house sit for them in 2014.

Where Are My Shoes?

Got up this morning to go to work and my shoes were not where they were supposed to be. I checked in the bedroom closet, I looked in the living room, I looked everywhere. Twice. No shoes anywhere.

When we get home from work we enter through the garage and come into what we’ve named the Computer Room (for obvious reasons), but it is also the shoe taking off room and the coat hanging up room and the dropping the mail on the desk room and the Goodwill donation staging area.

Monday night we had to do some running around and our Goodwill pile was big enough that we decided to drop it off while we were out. That’s right, on Tuesday morning my shoes were in a box of similar items in the back room of the local Goodwill Store. The heck of it is, looking back, I think I carried my own shoes out of the house and put them in the trunk.

Brian Bowls 300

300 Game

It only took until the 3rd frame of the 3rd game to get there too!

I got to go Cosmic Bowling. The Valve Store(tm) purchased a lane and the rights to have up to 8 employees bowl for free from 7 to 11. They were having trouble getting volunteers to go and Donna happened to be talking with the ringleader of the event this afternoon and agreed to have the two of us do it.

We got to bowl as much as we wanted, we each were given 2 drink tickets and they had hors d’oeuvre before hand plus nibbles at every lane. Even the shoe rental was free. We ended up with a total of five people bowling, Donna and I, another couple, Heather and Al and one of Donna’s department members, Mary.

There were prizes for the top three scoring teams and a prize for the most spirited. Our team of non-bowlers won nothing, but we did help raise nearly $10,000 for a local children’s charity. All five of us had a great time and I bet all of us will wake up in the morning with a sore shoulder.

The Smithsonian Called

Bid AuctionOn occasion at the Valve Store(tm) we do some modernization to or buy new equipment. The replaced stuff that is beyond our usefulness get discarded, recycled or offered up to employees to bid on once a quarter.

Right now we are in the middle of revamping and rearranging the entire assembly floor, so there is even more stuff that is unneeded. Now once a month they place the items in a spot somewhere in the plant, put an Avery label with a number on them and publish a list. The November bid list was chock full of about 50 items that I had zero interest in, but there were plenty of people who did, as only 2 items went unsold, a typewriter #6 and an overhead projector #45.

I can’t even remember when it was the last time anyone used an overhead projector for a meeting or presentation. And where did they dig up the typewriter? The young women in HR who creates the lists was so unfamiliar with the thing that she didn’t even know that typewriter is one word.

The No Hot Chocolate Incident

Dunkin Drive UpI’ve been thinking about this for about a week now on how I could write about this and not come off as a little stupid, but have been unsuccessful, so here goes anyway.

If at all possible we like to start our day off with a couple of hot beverages from Dunkin Donuts. The DD on the south side of town, because of being shoehorned into an already existing lot has kind of an interesting drive-up line. Coming from one direction you have to drive past the store, then turn sharply back into the line as it crosses in front the store. But if there is no one in the line you can cheat and sneakily turn into the entrance of the Captain D’s next door.

It was early and no one was in line yet, so I cheated. When I placed our order I was informed that Donna’s beverage of choice was unavailable, the hot chocolate machine was not working. This has happened before and our usual recourse is to drive to the other side of town and try the other Dunkin. Because there was a car ahead of me waiting to get their order, I checked my driver’s side mirror to see if anyone was behind me and started to back up. I didn’t get far. Bump!

Had I checked my interior rearview mirror I might have noticed the Isuzu Trooper behind me. He, like me, had come in the cheater’s way like I had so he was invisible in the driver side door mirror. Fortunately the plastic bumper of the Purple Whale was almost the exact same height as the bumper of the Trooper, so there was no noticeable damage to either vehicle.

The only damage was to my pride which was exacerbated by the fact that I couldn’t back up and had to drive past the drive up window and everyone inside who heard the whole incident through the ordering microphone.

Save Me Some

Here at the Valve Store(TM) in the cafeteria we have an industrial sized ice maker/dispenser so everyone can fill up their cups, mugs and glasses. I get ice three different times, morning, lunch and afternoon break because I drink three different beverages throughout the day.

Because of the quanity of ice the machine produces and I fancy myself a sort of a smart-ass, whenever I get in line behind someone who is getting ice I always say, “Save me some.” Because it will never run out, most people ignore me.

Here is an ice machine conversation from yesterday:
Me Save me some.
Co-Worker Every time I get ice, I end up with ice on my arm.
Me Maybe you did something bad to the ice machine in a past life.
Co-Worker I don’t beleive in past lives.
Me Maybe the ice machine does.