Whatever

The Smithsonian Called

Bid AuctionOn occasion at the Valve Store(tm) we do some modernization to or buy new equipment. The replaced stuff that is beyond our usefulness get discarded, recycled or offered up to employees to bid on once a quarter.

Right now we are in the middle of revamping and rearranging the entire assembly floor, so there is even more stuff that is unneeded. Now once a month they place the items in a spot somewhere in the plant, put an Avery label with a number on them and publish a list. The November bid list was chock full of about 50 items that I had zero interest in, but there were plenty of people who did, as only 2 items went unsold, a typewriter #6 and an overhead projector #45.

I can’t even remember when it was the last time anyone used an overhead projector for a meeting or presentation. And where did they dig up the typewriter? The young women in HR who creates the lists was so unfamiliar with the thing that she didn’t even know that typewriter is one word.

The No Hot Chocolate Incident

Dunkin Drive UpI’ve been thinking about this for about a week now on how I could write about this and not come off as a little stupid, but have been unsuccessful, so here goes anyway.

If at all possible we like to start our day off with a couple of hot beverages from Dunkin Donuts. The DD on the south side of town, because of being shoehorned into an already existing lot has kind of an interesting drive-up line. Coming from one direction you have to drive past the store, then turn sharply back into the line as it crosses in front the store. But if there is no one in the line you can cheat and sneakily turn into the entrance of the Captain D’s next door.

It was early and no one was in line yet, so I cheated. When I placed our order I was informed that Donna’s beverage of choice was unavailable, the hot chocolate machine was not working. This has happened before and our usual recourse is to drive to the other side of town and try the other Dunkin. Because there was a car ahead of me waiting to get their order, I checked my driver’s side mirror to see if anyone was behind me and started to back up. I didn’t get far. Bump!

Had I checked my interior rearview mirror I might have noticed the Isuzu Trooper behind me. He, like me, had come in the cheater’s way like I had so he was invisible in the driver side door mirror. Fortunately the plastic bumper of the Purple Whale was almost the exact same height as the bumper of the Trooper, so there was no noticeable damage to either vehicle.

The only damage was to my pride which was exacerbated by the fact that I couldn’t back up and had to drive past the drive up window and everyone inside who heard the whole incident through the ordering microphone.

Save Me Some

Here at the Valve Store(TM) in the cafeteria we have an industrial sized ice maker/dispenser so everyone can fill up their cups, mugs and glasses. I get ice three different times, morning, lunch and afternoon break because I drink three different beverages throughout the day.

Because of the quanity of ice the machine produces and I fancy myself a sort of a smart-ass, whenever I get in line behind someone who is getting ice I always say, “Save me some.” Because it will never run out, most people ignore me.

Here is an ice machine conversation from yesterday:
Me Save me some.
Co-Worker Every time I get ice, I end up with ice on my arm.
Me Maybe you did something bad to the ice machine in a past life.
Co-Worker I don’t beleive in past lives.
Me Maybe the ice machine does.

That’s Fair

Fair

We started the day with breakfast with the MMC at a Steak and Shake in Augusta and we’re ending it on the couch watching the FRS play playoff baseball. In between we walked around downtown Aiken to pay our bills followed by lunch on the porch of a small restaurant. This afternoon I finished up my center console modifications by installing a lighted push button that operates the garage door remote in the old cigarette lighter spot.

While I was in there I tried sliding the top of the upper shift boot up the shifter some. I mentioned a couple of posts ago that shifting into 1st and 3rd required a bit more oomph than it did with the old torn boot, well today, shifting into 5th was met with progressively more resistance. So much so that on this morning’s post breakfast drive the shifter popped out of 5th gear about three times just because of the tightness of the rubber boot wanting to force the shifter into neutral.

After dinner we took in the sights at the Western Carolina State Fair. It was a beautiful night for it as it actually felt like fall. They had quite a few awesome looking rides and that is pretty much all we did was look at them because even if we did want to try one out the lines were very long. The only thing we bought was a 1/4 pound of fudge from a vendor after 2 failed attempts to buy an ice cream cone from an outside cart.

Started up, went down, went up, back down, up again, down again, still down.
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Purloined Hot Sauce

Our Industrial Engineer Rob is an eating machine. But it seems like to him, if it is worth eating, it is worth eating with hot sauce on it. Consequentially, Rob runs out of hot sauce on occasion, so then he needs to borrow some from his coworkers.

Rob has been out of hot sauce for a while now and has found a favorite supply, a bottle our supervisor Keith keeps in his office. But Keith has noticed that the level in his sauce bottle seems to be dropping faster than it should be considering the amount he uses. Naturally all suspicion falls on Rob, but he has steadfastly denied any culpability in the missing sauce, but no one believes him. Turns out, with good reason.

In the last few seconds of this surveillance video is a small obscene hand gesture that may not be suitable for children, parental discretion is advised:

Anniversary Cards

Yesterday was Donna and my wedding anniversary. This year we are celebrating the one that is right about halfway between major milestone and holy crap that long.

Because we are usually shopping together when it comes time to buy greeting cards for each other for Valentine’s Day and Anniversaries we take turns, one person shops for cards while the other loiters in the magazine section or an aisle over. Then we swap places.

This is a lot better than one couple we know, who never waste money on greeting cards, they both stand in the store/aisle and select a card they would like to give to the other and show it to them right in the store. Then instead of heading to the checkout counter, they put the cards right back in the slot where they found them.

This year because we were going away for the weekend we packed our cards separately to bring out on Sunday morning. Donna gave me my card first and as I opened it up she said, “I just love the picture on the front.” When I saw it, I instantly recognized it and said, “Well then, you’ll love my card.” That’s right, we has each chosen the exact same card. First time that has ever happened.

Started up, went down, still down.
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The Power Of Facial Hair

My Red Sox Beard

I have been wearing a beard since 1978, before then I only sported a mustache because that is all the facial hair I could have as a Naval Air Crewman. Beards prevented full sealing of the oxygen mask.

Nearly every guy on this year’s FRS team is sporting a beard and they come in a large variety styles and lengths. It started with a couple of the off season’s free agent signees in Spring Training and over the season has spread through the clubhouse like a zombie virus.

I’ve always kept my beard trimmed, but I want to help the guys in their quest to go from worst to first and hopefully beyond this year, so until the Red Sox season ends, be it being swept in the division series or winning the World Series in seven games, I won’t trim my beard (sideburns and mustache excluded.)

Lucky for Donna my beard isn’t very thick and doesn’t grow very fast, so I won’t end up looking like a member of the Duck Dynasty or ZZ Top.

Here’s A recent NY Times story on the bearded Bosox: Bonding With Beards, the Red Sox Repair Their Clubhouse Chemistry and the team also features many winners in Grantland’s Base-Beards (The 2013 MLB Beard Awards)

Started down, went up, went down, still down.
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