Rants

Can I Get A Spark Plug?

Yesterday morning the lawnmower wouldn’t start. As we were staring at the mower looking for where the spark plug might be, Donna said, “Maybe it is under here?” She proceeded to back out a thumbscrew on the side which opened up a 2″ x 4″ panel. No spark plug, but there was a paper air filter. Wow, this thing has a paper filter. I removed it, fanned the folds to loosen the dirt and smacked on the driveway a couple times to clean it. It wasn’t too dirty which was not too bad considering we bought the mower a little over two years ago. As I went to put it back in I noticed a foam filter that resided under it. It was no wonder the paper filter was so clean, the foam filter was totally blocked and there was a 1/32″ thick layer of dirt covering it.

Figuring I found the problem, I washed the foam real good and placed it all back together, but it still wouldn’t start. Because the yard really didn’t look to bad I wheeled the mower back into the shed. Now almost absolutely sure it was the spark plug I went inside to check the owner’s manual for location and type of plug. Well, as is the custom now a days, the manual was a a generic one covering all 68,000 models of Yard Machine mower, so none of the pictures actually matched our mower and there were plenty of paragraphs talking about the spark plug and how to replace it, but there was no actual mention of the proper number to use. In the same bag as the mower manual was one for the Brigs and Stratton engine. It too was extremely vague, but I did find mention of a spark plug number near the back of the book, 5062. That number was for the resistor plug to reduce electric interference. Under that were two other numbers, 802592 & 492167. Now we are in business.

Or so I thought. This morning we checked an auto parts store and the Home Depot where we had bought the mower, where we found all kinds of plugs and all kinds of cross reference guides, but they all were sorted by manufacturer, plug manufacturer (NGK, Champion, etc.) not engine maker, and nowhere were the three numbers I had mentioned. My only resort now was to find the elusive plug, remove it and hope it was marked with something that I could cross-reference. So I came home and removed the plastic engine cover and the plug location was immediately identifiable. Not only that, I was easily seen and removed without having to remove the 4 screws and cover. I, in typical male fashion, didn’t see it, because it wasn’t where I first looked.

The plug removed was all back and icky and still smelled of all the gas it was drenched in yesterday in my failed fifteen or so pulls to start the mower. I wiped the dirt off the ceramic insulator and read, “TORCH F6RTC.” After a little Google searching yielded substitutes of RN9YC (Champion) and BPR6ES (NGK.) Tomorrow after work we try Home Depot again and hopefully come home with a spiffy new plug that will lead to a running lawn mower.

Wish I’d Thought Of That

Our Kroger store is almost finished with an interior remodeling. This is a stressful time for loyal shoppers like ourselves because our old familiar layout gets shuffled around as they fix one section then another. Trouble now is that they didn’t put everything back exactly where it was before.

I know they do this on purpose because the more time you spend in the store wandering the aisles the better the chance you will buy something not on your list. But some of the moves seem almost nonsensical. The little six packs of applesauce and fruit cups are now 2 aisles away from the jars of applesauce and canned fruit.

Tonight we were out because I needed a bottle of Cran-Raspberry juice and we found out soon enough that the bottled juice is not on the same aisle as the juice boxes. As we walked deeper into the store I began to wonder if we had missed it. As we got past the food and into clothes soap and light bulbs, I decide to ask someone. The next aisle was shampoo and body wash and luckily there came a Kroger employee, “Where is the bottle juice?” His reply, “Have you tried the juice aisle?” “Oooh,” I thought, “Wish I’d thought of that.” “Aisle 21,” he said. It used to be on like aisle 6, now it is nearly all the way on the other side of the store with the frozen foods.

2,000 Foot-Candles

A few months back I moved into a new addition to our building. Today Donna got to move into the newly remodeled office space on the opposite end of the front office from where she was. Like those of us out back, every one up there got shiny new cubicles, with shiny new modular furniture inside shiny new short walls.

Several years back, when the company president made one of his quarterly state of the company addresses he told us that he likes low walled cubicles because they fostered communication, so now instead of the previous 60″ high walls everyone now has 48″ surroundings. Foster communication is corporate double-speak for I want to be able stand on one end of the office space and survey my row of minions like a proud farmers looking over his acres of rows of corn. What I have found out on the serf level is that fostering communications really means that you can hear everyone’s conversations, business and personal, every shuffle of paper and every burp and fart for a 6 cubicle radius.

More interesting is in Donna’s area, as opposed to mine, is that they installed alternating rows of 2′ x 4′ florescent light fixtures and the same size white tiles for the entire length of the 70′ long room. The effect is literally blinding. The carpet is a light tan/gray, the walls are a light beige, the cubical walls are light gray and the desk surfaces are light beige. The effect is somewhat akin to standing on the side of the planet Mercury that faces the sun. OSHA states the minimum lighting for office spaces is to be 30 foot-candles, they don’t list a maximum, but my guess is the title of this post is not too far off to what it is in this new area. By the afternoon, Donna’s eyes hurt so bad that she put on her sunglasses at her desk. Tomorrow she is taking in a visor…

The Purple Whale passed the 2,000 mile mark on the way home from the brightly lit cube farm.

Dentist Office Music

Today was our semi-annual dental cleaning and I literally fell asleep in the chair. Because we are regular customers the plaque that does need removing usually comes off with little effort and with the light touch of the hygienist it is quite painless. Add in some of that infamous dentist office music and I think I caught a couple winks while reclined this afternoon.

The music was almost retro dentist office stuff, mostly 60’s & 70’s no vocal jazz and show tunes. When I asked if it was Musak(tm), the answer came back that it was satellite. The station is called Escape (which seems cruelly apt for a dentist office) and with the 3 months trial of XM that came with the Sonata we could, if we wanted to, listen to this very same sleep inducing station while driving around.

But probably won’t.

Already?

Today Donna had an appointment to see the dermatologist about having a wart removed off the back of her hand. Last night we practiced driving the big new car downtown, so she could find the place. And even though she was leery of a couple downtown streets with parking on both sides, leaving a narrow path through the middle, she was game to try driving to her appointment.

I felt bad about this because I know how much she a) doesn’t like to drive anyway, b) didn’t want to drive it until it got its first door ding or scratch and c) would be so afraid of hurting the new car she might actually hit something trying to be too careful. Because I had come to work the 1/2 hour early with her all week, I figured I had built up enough extra time that I would just drive her to the doctor’s and sit outside trying to familiarize myself with the 380 page owner’s manual.

When I got to the office building where the doctor’s office is, there were two spots in a row open (thank goodness, as I wouldn’t dare try and parallel park this beast) so I pulled in and eased into the second spot. Only thing is the Sonata is a tad bit wider than a Miata so I managed to hit the curb with the right front wheel. =8O To add insult to injury when Donna got out of the car she had to come back and tell me to pull up as the car’s butt was a foot or so in the parking spot behind me.

I did a nice job, the wheel is scarred for about 3 inches around the diameter, though the clear coat, through the paint and into the aluminum. I called our salesman this afternoon and asked a hypothetical question, “Who would they call, if say, a wheel on a car being delivered was scratched up coming off the truck or something?” He said, “Already?” “Yep,” I replied, “less than 24 hours in.” I told him I was thinking of suing the car dealership for mental anguish caused by their selling me a car I was obviously unable to handle.” He laughed and gave me the name of who they call when they need a wheel repaired.

The name of the Sonata’s color is Indigo Blue Pearl and it is an appropriate name. In the shade it looks like a dark blue, but when you look at it in the bright sunlight there is a definite purple cast. I was thinking of calling the car “Purple Whale” because of its size compared the the Emperor, but that is the name of a form of the drug ecstasy. I can’t see any references to that past 2009, so it might be OK. I can even get one of these cute bath buddies to tack to the dash.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1004

A Composition For One Or Two Instruments

Typically in three or four movements in contrasted forms and keys.

The Brian & Donna Buy A New Car Tour headed west to Augusta tonight and for the second time in three days I have left a car dealership with an agreement on a deal for a car. And again all that needs doing to make it happen is the detailing of the vehicle and the final financial paperwork.

29 HOURS AGO: At 2:30 on Monday afternoon I call the Honda dealership to make sure everything is on track. I’m told salesman Brad is at lunch, so I leave a message to be called back. At 3:30, having heard nothing, I call back. This time I’m told Brad isn’t in, he had called in sick. I tell the clueless receptionist that I am supposed to pick up my new car at 4:30. “Who do I need to talk to?”, I ask. She transfers me to someone named John (really) an he tells me he will have some one call me right back and takes my work number.

Twenty minutes later, literally 5 minutes before I get off work, I get a call from Brian (this name I’ll remember) and I tell him I’m twenty minutes away. He says, “Come on down, I’ll get paperwork started, so it should be almost done by the time you get here.” When we arrive, Brian is waiting in the showroom near the door, but he has not done anything on my paperwork. Our experience goes downhill from there, culminating in Donna and I driving off with the John Candy character chasing us down shouting my name.

Maybe later in the weekend I’ll have time to post about the rest of our fun with the Keystone Kar Salesmen of Honda Cars of Aiken.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1001

Pretty Much How Things Are Going

Even with today’s win the Red Sox still have the worst record in Major League Baseball at 2-10. They also have the dubious distinction of having the worst run differential in the Majors (meaning both the American & National Leagues) at minus thirty. That means they have been outscored in those 12 games by 80 to 50. Those 80 runs allowed are also the highest in the bigs, which means our pitchers probably have the highest team ERA. Indicative of the FRS’s season so far, today I received my Red Sox Nation packet and it was inside a small plastic bag with the following label:

WE CARE
Dear Postal Customer:
We sincerely regret the damage to your mall during handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.

Although every effort is made to prevent damage to the mall. occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.

We hope you understand. We assure you that we are constantly striving to improve our processing methods in order that even a rare occurrence may be eliminated.

Please accept our apologies.
Sincerely.
Your Postmaster

At least the Membership card survived intact…

Started down, went up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 998