Fantasy Football

Big Turn Around To Nowhere

Last week the Purple Whales scored a league low 51 points, twenty one points lower than the next lowest scoring team. My fantasy team was outscored by 6 of the 12 league’s teams benches (including my own.) To compound matters the Whales were beaten by the team that scored the most points last week, 143, the North Augusta Meatheads, a team that was awarded a draft grade of F by ESPN.

This week my team has scored 112 points, which is more points than 10 of any of the other teams, unfortunately I’m playing the only team in the league to outscore me…so the Purple Whales start this season 0 and 2.

No big thing, every team makes our league’s playoffs.

Settling The Tie

Nine days ago I whined here about my Fellow Fantasy Footballers not voting in my League Manager polls. The one that got the most participation was the first. It was about whether we should have a tie breaker or should ties be ties and fittingly it ended in a tie. I was supposed to break that tie by tossing a coin at draft day, but I forgot to do it. This morning I was in the office of the League Originator and another owner, so we decided to do the coin toss then. After finishing I emailed the rest of the owners:

From: The Commish
Sent: Wednesday, August 28, 2013 9:38 AM
To: The Owners Group
Subject: With apologies to Gertrude Stein

Because yours truly got so wrapped up in drafting players for his team last Friday I forgot to do the promised coin toss to settle the tie/tie breaker poll that ended in a tie.

This morning at League HQ, in the office of the EZEFFL’s CFO, monitored by a representative of the accounting firm of Price Waterhouse the matter was put to bed.

Thinking that this was too important to be decided by just a single toss, it was agreed to toss the coin 12 times, one for each team in the league. Heads would be a vote for ties counting as a tie and tails would be a vote for using a tie breaker. If the coin toss finished in a 6 to 6 tie, the tie would go to the ties, meaning, for the 2013 season, a tie would count as a tie.

With the first four tosses coming up tails it looked like the tie breaker would be carried forth from last year, but a late surge in heads towards the end made the count end up in a six to six tie.

So: A Tie is a Tie is a Tie is a Tie

—

Brian Bogardus
Commissioner
End Zone Entourage FFL
Owner/Director of Player & Personnel
Purple Whales

That final poll I put up 9 days ago – nobody has voted in it yet…

Draft Day

The Real Thing
Rnd# Pick# Player Pos
1 (5) Marshawn Lynch RB
2 (20) Dez Bryant WR
3 (29) Cam Newton QB
4 (44) David Wilson RB
5 (53) Marques Colston WR
6 (68) Pierre Garcon WR
7 (77) Owen Daniels TE
8 (92) Jacquizz Rodgers RB
9 (101) Sidney Rice WR
10 (116) Phil Dawson K
11 (125) Fred Jackson RB
12 (140) Kendall Hunter RB
13 (149) Jermaine Gresham TE
14 (164) Malcom Floyd WR
15 (173) Cowboys D/ST
16 (188) Phillip Rivers QB

Voter Apathy?

There were some concerns about a couple of rules that were in effect for last year’s season of the End Zone Entourage Fantasy Football League. I’m the League manager, but not its dictator, so I let everyone know that there would be a poll on the League’s home page and that they should go there and make their opinions known.

Last year I instituted a tie breaker because the year before a few people didn’t like having ties. If a 2012 game ended in a tie the home team was awarded the victory. Needless to say in the two games that did end in a tie last year, the owner of the Home Team was happy, but the owner of the Visitor Team was displeased. League Manager’s Poll #1 read, “Should a tie-breaker by used to settle tie games?” There are 12 owners and 4 voted Yes and 4 voted No. Four didn’t bother to vote.

The first year of the league only 4 teams made the playoffs and the other 8 played in “consolation games.” When I took over as League Manager in year two the previous administration let me know he wanted all 12 teams to make the playoffs the year before, but didn’t know how to do it. I figured out how to do it, so last year all 12 teams got in the playoffs. Of course the top 4 teams in last year’s regular season were bounced out of the playoffs by week 2 and the final game pitted the #10 & #12 teams, with the regular season’s losing-est team taking home the trophy. League Manager’s Poll #2 read, “How many teams should make into the playoffs: 2, 4, 8 or 12?” Of the 12 owners a whopping 3 voted, one for 4 teams, one for 8 teams and 1 for all 12 teams. Seventy-five percent of the owners didn’t vote!

I sent out an email after the poll closed to lament the lack of participation and got a whopping 3 more votes before I closed the poll this morning. There was one more vote for 8 teams and 2 more for 12 teams, so once again everyone makes the playoffs…

I have posted one more League Manager’s Poll on the League’s front page:
League Managers Poll

The first selection is an actual answer from an actual owner.

Mock Mock

This evening for the heck of it I did a couple of fantasy football mock drafts online at ESPN. It didn’t have any real practical purpose because we are doing our draft live and in person with people in a room, but it was kind of fun anyway.

After the top 3 or 4 purpose picks I like to get players that will be on teams that I will be able to see play on Sunday. Because Atlanta and or Carolina are pretty much guaranteed to be televised locally, players from those two teams, plus Tampa Bay and New Orleans make up about half my roster.

    Draft #1 Draft #2
Round# Pick# Player Pos Player Pos
1 (5) Arian Foster RB Doug Martin RB
2 (20) Peyton Manning QB Drew Brees QB
3 (29) Darren McFadden RB Demaryius Thomas WR
4 (44) Marques Colston WR Rob Gronkowski TE
5 (53) Danny Amendola WR Mike Wallace WR
6 (68) Ahmad Bradshaw RB Ahmad Bradshaw RB
7 (77) Vernon Davis TE Greg Jennings WR
8 (92) Mike Williams WR DeAngelo Williams RB
9 (101) Texans D/ST 49ers D/ST
10 (116) Jermichael Finley TE Malcom Floyd WR
11 (125) Jonathan Stewart RB Jacquizz Rodgers RB
12 (140) Matt Bryant K Brandon Pettigrew TE
13 (149) Brandon Pettigrew TE Justin Tucker K
14 (164) Josh Freeman QB Josh Freeman QB
15 (173) Mike Tolbert RB Mike Tolbert RB
16 (188) Darrius Heyward-Bey WR Robert Woods WR

Fantasty Football Time Again

As Commissioner of the Valve Store’s ™ Fantasy Football League my duties are legion, one of which is confirming a date for Draft Day, which this year was akin to herding house cats. With that done, next up is picking the order of draft. Unlike the NFL it is not really worst gets first pick, but more like the worst team last year get to draw a piece of paper with a number from 1 to 12 on it which will represent the order.

Tonight when I got home I emailed everyone:

This year’s draft order will be chosen tomorrow, Wednesday, July 31st at 12:40 in the Engineering Conference Room. It will be hosted by Pat Sajak with the numbers being drawn by Vanna White and televised on the Ocho (ESPN8.) Draft Order Numbers will be drawn in the reverse order of last year’s final standings:

1 – Keith Gregory – Team Gregory
2 – Mike Lenio – SC Bone Crushers
3 – Tom Schelfaut – SC SWAG
4 – Kevin Falcon – Swamp Rats SR
5 – Mark Turner – Team TURNER
6 – Gregory Morgan – North Augusta Meatheads
7 – Evan Lenio – Aiken Ball Busters
8 – Bob Royer – Spoiled Rich Guys In Tights
9 – Brian Bogardus – Purple Whales
10 – Robert Arnone – May the Odds Be Evr in My Favor
11 – Bob Smyth – Team Argyle Pilgrims
12 – Brian Montgomery – Multiple Scorgasms

Team owner attendance is not mandatory, but you are welcome to audit the event in person. With written notice to the EZEFFL Office, 24 hours prior to the event, showing credible evidence that Pat and/or Vanna have “liked” an opposing team on Facebook or tweeted negatively towards your organization, you may be allowed to draw for your own number.

This is being sent to your home email address, but because not everyone checks their home email often enough I am also copying your work email. Because there are probably one or two of you who check neither with any regularity, I will be telepathically implanting this message in your dreams tonight at 3:14AM

Team Car

Hoping to turn around their lackluster showing on the football field from the last two weeks, today I gave the Purple Whales official team car a bath because everyone knows a clean car is a much happier car. And a happy car just performs better.