Dumb Things I’ve Done

Lick Fork Lake

This Sunday instead of doing a little hike in Hitchcock Woods like last week we decided that we might be able to kill two birds with one stone if we made a little trip to Edgefield County.

Back in the day (AKA the 90’s) Donna and I would slap the mountain bikes on the Miata and drive the 35 miles to the Lick Fork Lake Recreation Area in the Sumter National Forest. There is a 5-3/4 mile long trail there that was the closest spot to go trail riding back then. Since we gave up the off-road cycling we have been back a few time to hike and with spring finally here, it seemed like a nice destination.

One of the goals for this year’s Motoring Challenge is to find a dozen Lakes & Rivers to take pictures of that includes the sign in the frame along with the car. It has been awhile since we had been there, but Donna seemed to think there was a spot where this combination would be possible. We packed the trunk of the Emperor with our hiking boots, walking sticks and a picnic lunch.

When we turned the last corner towards to the parking area we were greeted with a padlocked gate. I guess we should of checked first, because somewhere in the intervening decade since we last hiked there they shortened the park’s operating days from year round to just the 6 months between May and November.

Started down, went up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1468

Six Foot Tall

My height was listed as 5′-11″ on my very first driver’s license when I was sixteen. 6-00 is what it reads now on my current South Carolina driver’s license. I grew an inch in Navy boot camp and this height is what has been listed on every subsequent driver’s license, in whatever form required by any of the several states I’ve lived in since. In the intervening *cough* *cough* years I’m thinking that if measured it stocking feet today, I’d be back at the five foot eleven inch mark. In shoes though, still six foot even.

Back in May 2011 we bought a metal awning to park the Purple Whale under. The bottom edge of the powder coated mild steel side edge is 6′ 3″ from the surface of the driveway which allows for me to walk right under it. Normally. Sometimes I forget, like I did the day before yesterday, and step on the 3″ square tubing that serves as its base.

This caused me to bop the very tippy-top of my slightly pointed head. Fortunately I was wearing a hat so that instead of scraping off a dime sized layer of skin, I only ended up with a 1/4 inch long cut. Still it’s a head wound, so stopping the slight bit of bleeding took a while and a band aid.

In the past four years this happened with some regularity and you would think that I would avoid doing this and you’re right. I remember to step over the base or duck slightly when stepping on it for about two months, just about the time the previous wound heals.

Expanding Aerial Incompetence

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMiijU6_SyU

What do you get the man for Christmas who already has 2 nano quadcopter drones that he can’t really fly proficiently? Why, another flying toy of course. A Lily Ball 3.

It came as part of our Christmas gift from Donna’s older brother Steve. The first two pieces arrived before the big day, but this little flying wonder was on back order and didn’t arrive on our doorstep until the 2nd of January.

The controller needed 6 AA batteries! The nano drone controllers only needed 2 AAA’s. I scrounged around in our battery box and came up 2 cheap-o’s that came with a TV remote and 4 rechargeables of varying vintage and perceived power. The first couple of indoor flights were very ugly. This thing takes off kind of like the launching of a hot air balloon, slowly lifting off and then climbing gracefully and with increasing speed. Piloting this thing is sort of like steering a hot air balloon too, control response is terrible, and the thing just seems to move at its own whims.

Last night I took it out in the back yard (where the above video was taken) and with more room you can get a bit more up and down flight out of it, but directional control is still awful. Plus if it got 20 feet away and 20 feet up there would be a delay in throttle response. It would be rising fast and I’d pull back a little and nothing would happen, so I pull back some more and then it would drop like a stone. After this would happen I’d turn it right side up, hit the throttle, and it would instantly turn back upside down and try to fly back through the center of the earth to its place of origin. The only way to get any control back was to “reboot” both the ball and the controller.

Back indoors I read the very brief troubleshooting hints on the back of the 4 page instruction booklet. It specifically mentions slow to respond to inputs as being a low battery issue. So today I got a hold of a six-pack of fresh copper tops. Loaded them in the controller and went out on the back deck. I turned the 2 pieces on, went through the sync procedure and advanced the throttle halfway. The Lily Ball took off like a model rocket and headed for a geosynchronous orbit above the planet. I slammed the throttle back and a couple of seconds later at about an altitude of 60 feet it either got the message or left controller range because the rotors quit spinning. This was not going to end well.

Expanding Aerial Incompetence

It is about 30 feet up in a tree. This happened at about 5:00 PM. Donna and I went out for dinner, did a little grocery shopping and when we got home a little after 7:00, we went out on the back deck. It was full dark and the two electroluminescent strings on the ball were still flashing alternating red and green.

Are You A Member Of Our Loyalty Club?

Even though we did the weekly grocery shopping on the way home from Florida yesterday, we didn’t get the a menu planning done for tonight. When we couldn’t agree on what we wanted to fix, we opted to do the easy thing and go get something to eat.

Donna has been on a soup kick recently, so she suggested a trip to Atlanta Bread Company just down the street where they do a pretty good French Onion. I agreed, but suggested getting it to go, so we could pretend we weren’t eating out. She ordered a cup of the French Onion soup and a half a cubano panini. I selected a whole NY Hot Pastrami sandwich.

When the cashier asked, “Are you a member of our Loyalty Club?” I said, “Sure.” and gave her our home phone number. She scrunched her nose up and said, “It’s not coming up.” We tried the number again with the same results. So I gave the 9 digits to her again. “That’s funny,you are not showing up.” I say, “That can’t be, we just used it last Thursday night in Statesboro, GA.” Donna chimes in with, “That was a Panera Bread.”

Nice job, that’s like trying to use a your CVS loyalty card at Walgreen’s or your My Lowes card at Home Depot.

Reason #127 Why I Shouldn’t Be Sent On Errands Alone

Because we hadn’t done our weekly grocery shopping yet the cupboard was nearly bare, so this morning I was sent out for breakfast. Donna wanted an order of Biscuit ‘N’ Gravy from Hardee’s and I volunteered to make the run as long as I could stop at DD too and get my morning Cup O’ Joe too. She said fine, but don’t pay the buck eighty nine for a Hot Chocolate for her as she could make her own at home.

Hardee’s was the first stop where I picked up Donna’s breakfast. Normally I get a Sausage and Egg Biscuit here, but I decided to forgo that and get a muffin at Dunkin Donuts instead. At the DD drive up I ordered and when I got to the window I handed the clerk my DD Card and she handed me my muffin. She rang up my bill then handed back the receipt and my card. It wasn’t until I was driving around the back of the building that I realized I was missing my coffee. I was so keyed in on the fact that I was getting a muffin that I drove off too soon.

So I parked the Purple Whale and sheepishly walked inside the store to pick up my Medium Coffee with Cream & Sugar.

In case you are wondering, this is Reason #1

The No Hot Chocolate Incident

Dunkin Drive UpI’ve been thinking about this for about a week now on how I could write about this and not come off as a little stupid, but have been unsuccessful, so here goes anyway.

If at all possible we like to start our day off with a couple of hot beverages from Dunkin Donuts. The DD on the south side of town, because of being shoehorned into an already existing lot has kind of an interesting drive-up line. Coming from one direction you have to drive past the store, then turn sharply back into the line as it crosses in front the store. But if there is no one in the line you can cheat and sneakily turn into the entrance of the Captain D’s next door.

It was early and no one was in line yet, so I cheated. When I placed our order I was informed that Donna’s beverage of choice was unavailable, the hot chocolate machine was not working. This has happened before and our usual recourse is to drive to the other side of town and try the other Dunkin. Because there was a car ahead of me waiting to get their order, I checked my driver’s side mirror to see if anyone was behind me and started to back up. I didn’t get far. Bump!

Had I checked my interior rearview mirror I might have noticed the Isuzu Trooper behind me. He, like me, had come in the cheater’s way like I had so he was invisible in the driver side door mirror. Fortunately the plastic bumper of the Purple Whale was almost the exact same height as the bumper of the Trooper, so there was no noticeable damage to either vehicle.

The only damage was to my pride which was exacerbated by the fact that I couldn’t back up and had to drive past the drive up window and everyone inside who heard the whole incident through the ordering microphone.

Boy Am I Stupid Part II

Brian’s Easy Oven Cleaning Method #4:

  1. Spray Easy-Off Oven Cleaner on a cold oven
  2. Forget all about it
  3. 10 days later go rollerblading
  4. Have wife preheat oven for dinner totally unaware
  5. Have wife notice strange smell and open oven door
  6. Have house fill with acrid smoke
  7. Have angry wife greet you upon your return
  8. Sheepishly apologize
  9. Run through house opening windows and turning on ceiling fans
  10. Use large amounts of elbow grease to remove now baked on oven cleaner