Sickest Joke Of All Time

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. “We’re sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one trooper.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” he shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, the ashen faced man said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh my God!” he exclaimed. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12-twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her.”

Stunned, he demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?”

The trooper said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow.”

Enough Already

Spring better show up here soon or heads are going to roll. 😡 Today was another day where the high temperature did not even get above the average low for this time of year. We are supposed to be at the 70 degree mark for crying out loud.

Smilies. I’ve got them and you don’t. They work on the main page, but I couldn’t get the things to work on the individual post pages. So you see them here, but on any other page you will get the plain ol’ ASCII verson. I couldn’t get them to work on the comment form either and they were supposed to have clickable entry too. I think it is because I use the dynamic publishing feature of MT. 🙁

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 60

Going Postal

In more ways than one. I brought the style of the Post Office Galleries in line with the rest of the site. No need to visit them as there is nothing new there. Hard to believe that it has been about a year since I took any Post Office pictures. I stopped because the site that was the impetus for the pictures never even included any of the 15 pictures I sent them. Wasn’t just me, they never did do any updating at all. I kept at it, but have now run out of day trip Post Offices. Any others would require a more serious commitment. Maybe sometime in the future…

The Mozilla bug that causes partial page loading rears it’s ugly head in the PO Galleries in spite of my making sure the images have size numbers. (It probably isn’t a bug, so much as my ham-fisted coding, but whatever.)

But if you didn’t take yesterday’s hint, go visit the Miata Gallery as I did add 4 new pictures.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 60

Now What?

I finished making the Miata Gallery look like the rest of the site today. For whatever reason when sequentially running thru the large images in Mozilla it will load like half the image and stop. Hit refresh and it displays the whole page, but very annoying.

<UPDATE>
I think I fixed the Mozilla problem. I added the height and width attributes to all the images.
</UPDATE>

Next step, the Post Office Gallery(s).

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 59

Stay Away

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought as he roared on down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more.

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man and he tromped on it some more, and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120mph. Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.” He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes, and walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch. “My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me any reason why you were speeding, that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The man looked at the trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.”

The trooper replied, “Sir, have a nice day!”