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Almost One Tenth As Old As America

The Great Roach Kidnapping Caper – Part V

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Go back and read Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4 if you already haven’t, I’ll wait.

Day 3: cont. A little before 3:00PM I wandered into the cafeteria to refill my mug with ice from the machine. This in of itself is not unusual as I normally do this around that same time most days, but had Rob actually gone in there to drop off any ransom he probably of would have figured he’d confirmed my participation in the kidnapping. He was nowhere to be seen and neither were any Wal-Mart bags.

Day 4: On Thursday morning I made up one more ransom note:

I didn’t take a picture, so I had to recreate it with clip art, but Mark found me a dead cricket and I taped one of it legs to the piece of paper. Using the “roachrobbie83” yahoo mail address I sent a second check your mailbox note with the subject line “Where’s The Ransom?” Rob replied via email:

please don’t hurt her. Penelope F Chickenetia is a very loving creature. they don’t have blue bags. we need more time. how to you expect a guy to come with with that kinda loot in such a short time.
I’ve got white bags with blue wal mart writing. will that do?

Later that afternoon he accosted both Mark and I separately with one bottle of RC Cola in a Wal-Mart bag. We were sticking with our story of knowing nothing about it, I even tried to toss the blame at one of his cubical neighbors, but he wouldn’t believe us.

Day 5: On Friday I decided that enough was enough and if I had an opportunity I would just return Rob’s dead roach back to his cubical where his was last seen a week ago. About mid morning I stood up to get a drawing out of the printer and noticed Rob walking down the hall towards the other end of the plant, I made a quick u-turn and got the bug. No one saw me place it back and I’m not sure if he was messing around or not, but when Mark walked by and pointed out that his bug was back he seemed surprised and overjoyed.

Later that afternoon Rob brought me the bottle in a bag saying he didn’t drink RC and that I had earned it. I replied, “I don’t really like RC either, but thanks.” and took the drink.

Day 8: On Monday morning when the vending machine guy came in to refill the drink machines I traded him the RC and a quarter for a 20oz bottle of Dr. Pepper. Who says crime doesn’t pay?

The End

Started up, still up.
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Tagged: Kidnapping, Roach Kidnapping
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sturgeon’s law

"Ninety Percent Of Everything Is Crap"
Derived from a quote by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon, who once said, "Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud. That's because 90% of everything is crud." Oddly, when Sturgeon's Law is cited, the final word is almost invariably changed to 'crap'.

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1) You will never find a more wretched hive of scu 1) You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. 2) Who is this guy? I don't remember him at all. Maybe the puzzle's artist?

#moseisley #cantina #starwars #jigsaw #jigsawpuzzle #jigsawpuzzlesofinstagram #jigsawpuzzleanonymous

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