Life of Brian

Almost One Tenth As Old As America

  •  
  • Miatatude
    • Buckie’s
      Modification List

    • Brian’s Miata Photos
      • Miata #6: 2001 NB2 (2025 – Present)
      • Miata #5: 2024 ND3 (2024 – 2025)
      • Miata #4: 2002 NB2 (2016 – 2023)
      • Miata #3: 2003 NB2 (2003 – 2016)
      • Miata #2: 1995 NA2 (1995-2003)
      • Miata #1: 1990 NA1 (1989-1995)
      • Miata Calendars
        • 2005 Calendar
        • 2006 Calendar
        • 2007 Calendar
        • 2008 Calendar
    • Brian Buys A Miata
    • Brian Goes To College
    • Brian Fights Breast Cancer
    • Brian In A Ditch
    • Brian Buys Tires & Wheels
    • Miata Ipsum
  • Other Cars
    • 2020 VW Golf GTI S (2025 – Present)
    • Mini #2: 2016 Cooper (2022 – 2025)
    • Mini #1: 2012 Cooper (2017 – 2022)
    • 2011 Hyundai Sonata (2011 – 2017)
  • Photos
    • Oregon
      • 2020 Klamath Basin Scavenger Hunt
      • #revchallenge
      • Traffic Signal Box Art
    • Moss Motoring Challenges
      • 2020 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2019 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2018 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2017 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2016 Moss Motoring Challenge II
      • 2016 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2015 Moss Motoring Challenge
      • 2014 Moss Motoring Challenge
    • Travel
      • 2025 Jumbo Road Trip
      • 2022 Santa Fe Trip
      • 2018 Way Out West Wedding Trip
      • 2012 Northeast Trip
      • 2009 Western States Trip
      • 2007 Northeast Trip #2
      • 2007 Northwest Trip
      • 2007 Northeast Trip #1
      • 2006 Northwest Trip
      • 2006 Florida Trip
      • 2005 Washington DC Trip
      • Gnorthwest Gnome
      • Travels With Brian
    • Memes
      • Phototime Tuesday
      • Tuesday Challenge
      • Lensday Wednesday
      • Theme Thursday
      • Photo Friday
      • Enchanted Ceiling
    • BMW Susan Komen Ultimate Drives
      • BMW Susan Komen Ultimate Drive 2006
      • BMW Susan Komen Ultimate Drive 2007
      • BMW Susan Komen Ultimate Drive 2008
    • Hot Air Balloon Festivals
      • Aiken 2007
      • Aiken 2008
    • Hitchcock Woods
      • Monthly Photo 2006
      • Mr Fletcher’s Ride
      • Signs
    • Various
      • USS Midway
      • Papercraft
      • Action Figures
      • Radio Paradise HD
      • Aiken’s 2010 Snow Day
      • MMC’s Trip to the South Carolina Train Museum
      • NASA Firecracker Run
      • Saluda County Memorial Day Tribute
      • Stuart’s Wedding
  • Post Offices
    • Oregon Post Offices
      • Adams to Cannon Beach
      • Canyon City to Durkee
      • Eagle Creek to Hermiston
      • Hillsboro to Marylhurst
      • Maupin to Phoenix
      • Pilot Rock to Saint Paul
      • Salem to Tiller
      • Toledo to Yoncalla
    • South Carolina Post Offices
      • Abbeville to Cassatt
      • Catawba to Cross Hill
      • Dalzell to Gilbert
      • Glendale to Iva
      • Jackson to Lynchburg
      • Manning to Norway
      • Olanta to Russellville
      • Saint George to Sycamore
      • Tamassee to York
    • Miscellaneous Post Offices
  • Misc
    • Geocaching
      • GA County Challenge
      • GA DeLorme Challenge
      • GA State Park Challenge
      • SC County Geocaching Challenge
      • SC DeLorme Geocaching Challenge
    • Spenser’s Crime Buster Rules
    • Contact Form
  • Shop
Almost One Tenth As Old As America

She’s Not Using That Either?

Monday, April 28, 2008

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

“You disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me…a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you.. I want a divorce!”

He replied, “Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened.”

“Fine, go ahead”, she sobbed , “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

So he began – “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has the same pair.”

He took a quick breath and continued – “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

“Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

Tagged: Jokes
← How Not To Rally
Nearing The Finish →

sturgeon’s law

"Ninety Percent Of Everything Is Crap"
Derived from a quote by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon, who once said, "Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud. That's because 90% of everything is crud." Oddly, when Sturgeon's Law is cited, the final word is almost invariably changed to 'crap'.

instagram

1) You will never find a more wretched hive of scu 1) You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. 2) Who is this guy? I don't remember him at all. Maybe the puzzle's artist?

#moseisley #cantina #starwars #jigsaw #jigsawpuzzle #jigsawpuzzlesofinstagram #jigsawpuzzleanonymous

site search

the best of

2026 | 2025 | 2024 | 2023 | 2022
2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017
2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012
2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007
2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002

the rest of

  • 2026: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2025: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2024: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2023: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2022: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2021: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2020: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2019: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2018: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2017: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2016: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2015: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2014: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2013: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2012: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2011: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2010: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2009: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2008: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2007: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2006: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2005: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2004: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2003: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
  • 2002: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12

fuelly

Fuelly Fuelly

meta

  • Log in

Copyright © 2026 Life of Brian.

Lifestyle WordPress Theme by themehit.com