If you’re like me, you just can’t enough listening/reading/seeing our current President speak. Well, today is your lucky day because I have found just the right browser extension for you, the Trump Alternative Reality Extension. Below is a copy of a paragraph from a Slate article entitled Hell Is High Water on New Orleans and the Mississippi River:
Crawford, the pilot, told me that taking a big ship down the Mississippi at high water around Algiers Point is like driving a truck down a road of ice. Taking it up the river might take twice as long as it did this time last year, when the river was 8 feet lower. Right now, everyday river operations are tense. One deckhand likened the situation to a five-alarm fire. There are no barges resting on the riverbanks, because there’s not much levee left above the waterline. Anchors won’t hold in the river bottom. On Wednesday morning, a barge hit the shore in Algiers, knocking over a utility pole and causing a power outage for 5,000 people. Then again, at least things are still moving here: Further north, the Arkansas and Illinois rivers have been closed to commercial traffic entirely due to high water, choking off shipments of corn and soybeans.
Now what it looks like using the Trumifier:
We’re doing very well on trade, we’re doing very well – our companies are very strong. Don’t forget, we’re still up from when I came in, 38 percent or something. I’m not playing by the same rules as Obama. Obama had zero interest to worry about; we’re paying interest, a lot of interest. He wasn’t paying down – we’re talking about $50 billion lots of different times, paying down and knocking out liquidity. Well, Obama didn’t do that. And just so you understand, I’m playing a normalization economy, whereas he’s playing a free economy. Wacky Omarosa You know, normally I could do other things tonight. I like you. I love this state. I figured, hey, it’s a Monday. Who the hell wants to sit around doing nothing on Monday night? Right? We fell in love. We are securing our Borders, making great new Trade Deals, and bringing our Troops Back Home.