The Snack

All I had was a portrait of Andrew Jackson and I wanted a candy bar to brighten up my ever so dull afternoon. I headed down to accounting the get the clerk to turn the one bill into several, and at least one of which should be one the vending machine would digest. As I stood in front of the counter where the clerk should be I heard the Accounting Manager call me into her office. She said, “I’ve got something for you,” and reached into her top desk drawer. She pulled out a plain brown paper bag and handed it to me. I knew instantly it was food, we’ve been down this path before. She said she bought two and after finishing the first she knew she shouldn’t have the second, so she hoped I would be so kind and remove the temptation. Being the gentleman I am, I was happy to oblige. Inside the bag was a 4″ x 4″ by 3/4″ thick chunk of candy/cookie thing. It had to be good because it felt like it weighed a pound. After I finished, I sent her a thank you email with the subject of

In this Issue: Perfect Timing, Not For Me, Heavy Burden.

Perfect Timing:
I was down there looking for Sally, so I could have her break a twenty dollar bill. I wanted an afternoon snack, but you handed me something much better than I could have gotten from the machines. I was in the right place at the right time.

Not For Me:
When I left your office I went to share with Donna. I broke “the snack” (at this point I don’t know what it is called, so I’ll just call it the snack) in half and gave one to her. She felt it and decided that was too much, so she broke the half in half again and handed me back one. She took a healthy bite out of the 1/4 of “the snack”, probably half of it, and chewed. She made a funny face. Donna likes chocolate and was fooled by the coating of that on top, but she is not much for sweets otherwise. She handed the 1/8 bit of “the snack” back to me as she finished chewing. She reached out and took the 1/8 of “the snack” back, then carefully, using her teeth, scraped off the chocolate coating and discarded the remainder.

Heavy Burden:
I was now stuck having to eat 3/4 of “the snack” all by myself. Truly, both literally and figuratively, a heavy burden. I was up to the task though and had no trouble devouring the remainder of “the snack.” It was delicious. Unfortunately “the snack” had enough calories to feed a small island nation and now that my body is working to digest them all it is a heavy burden just to keep my eyes open and head up…