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Purple Whales Trounced

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

80 Points

Thanks to to several factors, beyond my control I got a shellacking this past weekend and was summarily bounced from the EZEFFL Playoffs. Oh, who am I kidding, very little of this is in my control, but a loss is still on me. I’m the owner of the team and the Monopoly Money stops here.

Here is the text of the email I sent out to the league own­ers today:

Well, that was fun….

The defending champion (me) was severely trounced, eighty points trounced (thanks Peyton) as Team Gregory scored 132 points to my miniscule 52. It was a good thing he didn’t go up against the Argyle Pilgrims, because they scored a whopping 152. Too bad for the Pilgrims though, as they, by virtue of having the best record in the West, were on a Bye Week.

In the East it was a good thing their best record holder, SC Bone Crushers, were the Bye Week recipient, as they managed to amass a mere 59 points and would have lost to 4 of the 5 other teams in their division. In the actual game that counted, the slightly favored Ball Busters got busted by the Legion of Boom.

This is Division Championship Week, sponsored by Metamusil, to see who goes to the Lenio Bowl. Will the game between the diamond patterned religious freedom seekers and the Gregorys be a high scoring shootout as evidenced by their last week scores? In the other game, will it be Bones or Booms? Crushers or Legions?

Meanwhile the six teams in the Consolation Ladder will continue to duke it out for the Best of the Rest honors. And last weeks playoff losers “advance” to something called the Winner’s Consolation Ladder. (Huh? And what happens next week?)

I finally managed to cross paths with Susan Turner tonight, she seems to be doing as well as can be expected in her situation. When I explained what I had in the envelope I handed her, it brought her close to tears. We did a nice thing there. It was much appreciated.

—
Brian Bogardus
Commissioner
End Zone Entourage FFL
Owner/Director of Player & Personnel
Purple Whales

Tagged: Fantasy Football
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"Ninety Percent Of Everything Is Crap"
Derived from a quote by science fiction author Theodore Sturgeon, who once said, "Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud. That's because 90% of everything is crud." Oddly, when Sturgeon's Law is cited, the final word is almost invariably changed to 'crap'.

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