This was one of questions in today’s Deadspin Funbag:
I haven’t seen anyone rollerblading in at least 10 years. Is rollerblading dead? Is it just an activity that nobody does anymore? Or is it the exclusive domain of weird perverts of some kind?
Rollerblading is all but dead relative to its ’90s heyday; sales of rollerblading equipment have been in decline for a while. I assume this is because no one ever figured out how to freaking stop while wearing Rollerblades. Back in the 1990s, people were skating around and doing all sorts of KEWL tricks on park railings, and so other people were like, “Oh shit! That looks fun!” And then they bought all the equipment, only to realize there’s no way to stop. You have to have skillz to rollerblade well, and people with those skillz would probably rather go skateboarding or snowboarding instead, because Rollerblades make you look like a freaking dork.
Rollerblading was also a general fitness craze, and fitness crazes flame up and flame out all the time. You can throw rollerblading right into the fitness-craze dustbin with strippercizing and zebra-rustling. You know what’s a big fitness thing right now? Ballet. They’ve got fitness videos with ladies contorting themselves around chairs and ballet barres, and it’ll all be dead within a week.
Hey! I’m no pervert! I’m just a guy who figured out to sort of stop and enjoys the sense of speed generated by wheels instead of sneakers hitting pavement. I know I’m in a definite minority who still participate in this fitness-craze some 20 years later, but I also admit I still enjoy a good zebra rustling now and then.