Month: August 2014

Six Weeks Old

I’ve said it here before and I’ll say it again, if Donna’s sister didn’t live in Florida we wouldn’t come here. I would be willing to admit that that attitude does play a role in our dislike of visiting the state. We have visited many beautiful spots and enjoyed the state, but we have seen pretty much all of that we want to. Here is a little scenario from yesterday morning’s drive down that illustrates why we would rather avoid the the state.

We stopped for gas at the usual kind of exit off I-95 (see previous post) and while I was topping the tank Donna went inside to get a hot chocolate and a People magazine to read while it was my turn to drive. She came back out with the magazine, but no drink. The place had a nice machine for various kinds of hot chocolate, but all that came out into the cup was a stream of light tan, to mostly clear in color, steaming water. She showed it to the person behind the counter and told him that she wasn’t paying for that and someone should fix that machine. She did get her People magazine.

She came out of the store while I was still pumping gas. I wanted to wash the dead bugs off the windshield too, but had to wait to do it after filling the tank because I had to stand there and hold the handle to keep the gas flowing, the auto shutoff lever was busted. With still a while to go before we would be ready to roll, I suggested that she go next door to McDonalds and get the hot chocolate as they have that McCafe thing that serves all those starbucks-like drinks and would have what it.

Just as I was finishing cleaning the window, up walked Donna without a hot chocolate. When she had got to the counter and the associate asked what she wanted, she told him and he was dumbfounded. He turned to another personn behind the counter, “Do we make Hot Chocolate?” She looked back at him like he was speaking French. Donna decided that even if they could find someone back there who knew that they did in fact have hot chocolate on the menu, the chances of anyone actually knowing how to make it were pretty slim, so turned around and left.

With us both in the car, the tank topped and the windshield transparent, I started to drive out of the gas station lot for the 1/2 mile, 10 minute trip back to I-95. It was then she noticed the date on her new People magazine, July 14, 2014, or about 6 weeks ago!

46,000 Floridians Waiting At A Light

The Purple Whale clicked past the 46,000 mile mark just before we got off I-95 to head into Palm City, Florida. This is about the fourth trip down to visit Donna’s sister in as many months and we are starting to get the hang of it. It is still a long dang trip, but each successive time it seems to get easier.

The part that we still despise is the side trip off the Interstate to get gas, snacks, a meal or a rest room break. Invariably there is a traffic signal at the end of the off-ramp with a No Turn On Red sign in which we have to wait 2 or 3 minutes to turn in our favor. Then we race 100 yards or so to be stopped at another light with the same or longer wait for the cross traffic left turns, the cross traffic straight across traffic, then we wait for our left turners before we can finally proceed. Sometimes we even have to wait through yet another light a 1/4 mile further down the road before we reach where we want to be. Then we repeat the process all over again to get back to the Interstate.

I think this adds at least 20 extra minutes on top of whatever time it takes to complete what we got off the highway for…

2014 Draft Day for the EZEFFL

I Drafted in the 7th position, didn’t pay attention to a player’s Bye Week (as you can tell) and I’m pretty sure I’ve totally mucked it up. But if I manage to win just half the games I play, I’ll finish at least two games better, record-wise, than last year. And then maybe lightning will strike twice, and I win the last 4 games and get to keep the Championship Trophy in my cubicle.

PURPLE WHALES
Player Pos. Bye
QB Peyton Manning, Den QB 4
RB Arian Foster, Hou RB 10
RB DeAngelo Williams, Car RB 12
WR Andre Johnson, Hou WR 10
WR DeSean Jackson, Wsh WR 10
TE Julius Thomas, Den TE 4
FLEX Hakeem Nicks, Ind WR 10
D/ST Seahawks D/ST 4
K Graham Gano, Car K 12
Bench Stevan Ridley, NE RB 10
Bench Fred Jackson, Buf RB 9
Bench Cecil Shorts, Jac WR 11
Started down, up, down, up, down, up, down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1416

Wrest of the Week Wrap

Shappire Valley

Wednesday: Top down morning drive, work, top up drive home, watch Red Sox lose on MLB.tv

Thursday: Top down morning drive, work, top up drive home, watch Red Sox lose on MLB.tv

Friday: Hawaiian Shirt Day, ride tandem to work, ride tandem home, watch Red Sox lose on MLB.tv

Saturday: Top down morning drive, lunch in Highlands, NC, top up drive home, watch Red Sox lose on MLB.tv

Sunday: Top down morning drive, rollerblade around the block, grocery shop, watch Red Sox lose on MLB.tv

Started up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1410

144,444

144,444

As promised 2,144,444 seconds ago (24 days, 19 hours, 40 minutes, 44 seconds) here is a picture of the Emperor’s dash last night after we pulled over into a church parking lot.

When we got home from work yesterday and parked in the garage, I noticed the ODO reading was 144420, so I told Donna we needed to go for a 24 mile drive after dinner. “Twist my arm,” she said. It was much past dinner time and almost ready for bed time when I twisted it. We headed south on Banks Mill, took White Pond over to Whiskey Road and started back towards home. We we still about 5 miles from returning home when the digits changed to 144444 and I had just shy of a mile to find a spot to stop.

253,670,400 seconds ago the Emperor’s odometer read just 44,444 miles. That is 8 years and 2 weeks in the past and if you take the 100k miles and divide it by the number days elapsed you get an average of a touch over 34 miles a day.

It took the Purple Whale 1192 days to get to 44,444 which equates to about 37-1/4 miles a day average. At that rate it will be 7 years, 4 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 45 minutes and 46 seconds, which is January 5, 2022, to get to 144,444.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1403

2014 Bug Splat

Bug Splat

When Donna and I ate at the Apizza di Napoli a week or so before the Bug Splat I told the owner that we would be there at 6:30 the following Saturday night and would probably bring about 15-20 people.

It dawned on me the day before the event that I had 6:00PM listed as the start time on the Club’s Calendar, so I called the restaurant just before I left work and spoke to one of the women who work there and said that the arrival time was really 6:00 not the previously stated 6:30 and that there would be 15 people, plus or minus 5.

Little did I know, that when relayed to the owner, the message became plus or minus 5 people would be attending. They tried to call me back at work for clarification, but I had already left. The owner is friends with the Prez so he called Larry and Larry told him it would be a lot more like 20 people showing up.

They set up three tables, two with 6 and one with 8, but that couldn’t contain us. We ended up filling nearly every table in the joint (except for the big one behind us that was reserved for a birthday party) and a couple booths as well with the 34(1) Club members who showed up.

On the drive our conga line of Miatas stretched as far as the eye could see. But most of the time I could only see about half of them in the rearview mirror because of all the turns and curves in the roads making it hard to ensure we were not losing anyone. Amazingly enough we stayed pretty much together for the whole 34 miles, through 18 turns (4 of them lefts) and 8 traffic lights with only an occasional non-Miata getting in line with us. The evening sky turned pretty colored and the temperature eased into the lower 80’s making for a very pleasant drive overall. The only thing that was not up to snuff about the rally was the lack of bugs.

I’ve lamented the lack of real bugs and/or their splats for the last few years and maybe this is just the old timer in me that thinks, “Back in my day the bugs were bigger and more plentiful,” but when the Biggest Bug Trophy goes to someone that has the 3/16″ long carcass of a mayfly stuck to their headlight, that would look small if it was stuck to the trophy itself (2), then the Miata Insect Killing World is going to heck in a hand basket.

The judging for Most, Fewest and Closest to the Dot prizes were based on the amount and location of nothing more than the small white puffs left behind by passing through a cloud of unseen and unknown species. Bob & Pat Tarrant won the Fewest Bug prize because their car was white making the little puffs seem nonexistent. Larry & Rita Garner nabbed the Most Bugs prize by virtue of their dark Montego Blue color car. Sue & Dave Woomer had a white puff smack in the middle of the green Avery dot on the nose of their car thereby taking home the Closest to the Dot Prize. The Woomers were also the owners of that small mayfly and as such have the honor of displaying the Biggest Bug Trophy on their fireplace mantle until next year.

Next year I am going to look into hiring some kids with a pickup truck to drive the route a few minutes ahead of us and have them toss handfuls of crickets and grasshoppers in the grass at certain intervals and maybe one or two Elephant Beetles for good measure.

1. That number is a guess from President Garner and does not reflect an actual count. I was told 13 cars did the drive, but this hearsay and not an actual count either. Let’s do some cipherin’ and see if we can make the math work. Assuming there were 13 cars on the drive that meant 25 people (one car had just a driver) dining. There were 2 couples in their OTMs as their Miatas were down for maintenance, this makes 29. There was another couple who dined only and then went home, making 31 people. But one car was a late arrival, so subtract 2, giving us only 29 Miatanites who ate at the restaurant. Not 34, but that’s closer than my guess of, “a lot.”

2. This in no way should be taken that I’m diminishing the skill and effort of the driver and navigator of said winning car in plucking this obviously very scarce insect from the air.

New To Math Too

Friday night Donna and I ran the route for the MMC’s Bug Splat Rally that we were spearheading on Saturday night. The drive would start after dinner at Apizza di Napoli in Aiken and end up at a Sonic in North Augusta after 34 miles of zigging around. Most of the roads we were taking people on were familiar to us, but 2 of the dozen or so on the route, we had never been on before. We wanted to be sure there wasn’t any construction or surprises for us to stumble upon while leading a group of Miatas. Plus, we needed to make sure we’d recognize the turns onto the ones we had never driven on before.

When we finished our dry run up at the Sonic we thought maybe we would sample a bit of ice cream. You know, just to be sure the quality hadn’t suffered any since last year. Rather than sit in the car when at Sonic, we usually sit at the table and chairs out front where it is better for people watching. Both ordering stands had a group in front of them and after listening to both sets try and figure who wanted what for a while, our lack of patience for this sort of ineptitude from small family units presented with so many choices at dining establishments that they are overwhelmed, took hold and we left.

There was a Bruster’s Ice Cream stand just up the road, so we thought we’d give them a shot at our frozen dessert business. We got lucky there as the family grouping was already sitting about with their ice cream in their hands. Donna ordered a small chocolate in a cup and I ordered a small Almond Chocolate Coconut in a cup. Our young server ducked to the left, rang us up on the cash register and reported back with the total, “That’ll be six dollars and twenty-four cents.” I didn’t have enough ones to make it to six, so I handed her a ten dollar bill and said, “Wait, I’ve got some change.” I added a quarter to her hand.

I could see this young woman through the window as she struggled to make the change. She picked up some bills. She put some back. She picked up some coins. She put some back. Donna looked at me and asked, “What’s taking so long.” “She’s making change,” I replied with a lopsided grin on my face. She gave a look that I knew was going to lead to more anxiety for our hapless ice cream server, so I held up my hand to hold her back for a while. Server came back to the window with 3 one dollar bills, two quarters and a penny. Both of as said, “That’s not right,” at about the same time. She called someone over to help her out. After a minute or so she came to the window and handed me four ones and a penny. “Sorry,” she said, “I’m new here.”

New to math too, I thought, but didn’t say.