Month: September 2005

Ruin Sorbees

I received this joke at work via email and it had the following preface: This has been nominated for best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

The bit about “best email of 2005” got me thinking, sounded to chain letterish to me. Enter “Ruin sorbees” in Google and got 1,320 hits, all referring to this joke. Some postings were dated in 1999 and one even mentions this making the rounds in 1997… The joke is pretty much word for word (if that is what you could call them), but the lead-ins differ slightly. Each one references it being published in the Far Eastern Economic Review, but search there for the same term gives zero results. A check of my usual myth-busting sites has no mention of this at all. I suspect it may be even older than that because it seems a little too unpolitically correct even for 1997. Anyway here you go…

(To get the full effect, this should be read aloud.)
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RS: Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh, yes, I’d like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow july den?
G: What?

RS: Ow july den – fry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like ’em? Scrambled please.

RS: Ow july dee baychem – crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: What?

RS: San toes. July san toes?
G: I don’t think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this,but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.

RS: Toes! Toes! Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: We boter?
G: No, just put the boter on the side.

RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter – just put it on the side.

RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?

RS: Copy…tea…mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.

RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we boter and honey sigh, and copy…rye??
G: Whatever you say.

RS: Tend jew berry mud.
G: You’re welcome.

You Can Never Be Too Rich, Too Thin Or Have Enough RAM

Part of my birthday largess arrived today, memory and hard drive fresh from Amazon.com. First thing I did was add the second 512M stick, bringing my RAM total to 1024 Megabytes. This made a small performance increase in some tasks. I’m sure once I get the larger HD in there it will improve even more as I only have a little over 3% empty on the C: Drive. Hard drive swapping is going to be major surgery because I want to start from scratch with a clean install of Windows instead of just mirroring the current drive over.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 291

Free Music

The designated IT guy at work had to buy and install a DVD drive in his PC yesterday. When our main IT folks speced out the PCs they just went with CDRWs and the other day they sent him a ghost image for repairing a PC and it was on a DVD…

Inside the box with the drive was a card for 10 free music downloads from Connect.com. He is not a music guy, so he gave it to me today.

First you needed to go to sony.com/card and activate the card. After choosing a username (your email) and a password, the second page requesting information was huge, I looked to see if I actually had to do this, seeing as step two was go to www.connect.com and register there too. From what I could read, activating was an optional step, but reccomended for security reasons. Forget that, I wasn’t ever putting money on there or using it again after my 10 free.

Off to connect.com where you have to download some software (good thing my buddy didn’t try this with his dial-up account, there was about 20Megs worth.) After installation, you then have to create an account. Another username and password. Page two starts right off with wanting credit card info. Hold it. Once again this is a one time thing, a search of the FAQ nets the way to enter the free music card without a CC.

Once I was in I went searching for my 10 songs. Hmmm. The card is worth $9.90 (10 times 99 cents) and each album seems to cost $9.99. Finally found something that I liked that had 10 songs on it. If I bought the whole album it was $9.99, but if I bought the ten songs one at a time, $9.90.

Cecilio & Kapono – Elua

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 291

Boston Red Sod

For the ultimate Red Sox fan. You can now buy a 18″ x 9″ rectangle of grass from last year’s championship season for a mere $150. I’m sure the careful gardener could rip up his existing lawn, break up the piece into say 1″ square bits and nurture this into an entire yard full of fabled Fenway turf. I’d have bought some with my birthday money, but they won’t ship. The only way to get your grass is to show up at Fenway Park Gate B at 9:00 AM on Saturday, September 24th and that is too long a drive.

Fenway Championship Sod Sale

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 291

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kate Smith

Well, the FRS managed one out of three at the Stadium and ended up the weekend with a 3 game lead in the East. There are 20 games left to go in the season, so it is not over by a long shot, but the Sox are probably happy with their position right now. Of course us die-hard fans just know that a collapse is coming, I can feel it, a 2 game lead over the Yankees entering the final weekend of the season and needing to win just one game against the Bronx Bombers to clinch and they get swept at home. To make matters worse it will be on a Mark Bellhorn homer and Alan Embree will pitch a masterful 2 innings of relief to finish the game.

Although dead since 1986, I fully expect it to actually be Kate Smith singing “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch the way Bob Sheppard the Yankee Stadium public address announcer says, “Ladies and gentlemen, Kate Smith.”

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 291

Free Time

Donna and I took a nice short 8.5 mile bike ride this morning. The sun was just clearing the trees when we started and it was actually cool. Made a stop at the bagel place for breakfast and then pedaled home on the busiest road in town (because it was so early there was no traffic to speak of, but hours later it was clogged with shoppers.)

So what am I doing with all my free time now that I’m not doing those photo memes? Not coming up with quality blog posts that’s for sure. I had a great one earlier, but didn’t write down a hint, so I would remember it now that I’m actually sitting in front of the PC. It was kick-ass too! Better than yesterday’s post!

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 291