Hmmmm, Now What?

I have a Sony 10 disc CD changer mounted in the trunk. I placed it off to the left and far enough over that I still had access to the little cubby that is all the way over on that side. It is mounted horizontally with the opening facing into the trunk. I needed to face that way so I could access the disc magazine. It turns out that there is a major disadvantage to this arrangement. The newer Miatas have a relatively flat trunk area and because it is a sports car, turns are usually taken with elan. This combination results in anything that is placed in the trunk sliding around. When everything slides to the right it is stopped by the inside fender well, but when that stuff slides left it gets stopped by the CD changer. It is mounted very sturdily, but the plastic disc magazine door is taking a beating.

It is like most changer doors in that it is a convoluted two-piece sliding thing. A few weeks ago I got tired of popping the small door back onto its tracks, so I got some household cement and glued it in place in the big door. This was great until this past weekend when I went to put my MP3 Christmas CD in. Those doors are in two pieces for a reason and that reason is so that they open wide enough to allow you to get the magazine out. Oops! I had to stretch the big plastic cover out of its tracks to get a big enough opening to change out a disc. Today I must have got a direct hit with a sliding lunch box because the little door came uncemented from the large one and was floating around the trunk. The small door is stuck in the trunk cubby for now.

I can move the changer to vertical so the stuff bounces off the side instead of the face, but then I lose the vertical space above the changer, which in the current full trunk scheme is reserved for the small cooler. This is undesirable option. IIRC mounting it facing the other way left no room to swap magazines. This option requires investigation. I probably shouldn’t just leave the door off because trunk projectiles may damage some important internal mechanism. Another option might be to rig up some sort of hinged or quick releasable partition. Is ditching the changer an going with satellite radio in the future?

Eating Advice Disclaimer

The Legal Department here at mr-miata.net has asked that I clarify my intent in Monday’s post. It was meant as humor, not actual advice. Please consult your physician before making any change in your current dietary habits. Employees of mr-miata.net and their respective agents, affiliates, subsidiary and parent companies, sales representatives, marketing affiliates and partners, distributors, advertising and promotion agencies and members of the immediate families or household of each will not be responsible for any damages personal or public that occur as a result of anyone actually following any of those “tips.” Please enjoy the holidays in moderation in every way.

Need more reasons to take it easy on the foodstuffs? From an Associated Press item in today’s Winston-Salem (NC) Journal: In 1996, the largest St. Nick outfit sold at Santasuits.com was double-X. Today, the company offers a quadruple-X. Another change for the company – most Santas no longer need extra padding to fill out the suit. Read the rest of Holiday pounds overstay welcome.

Holiday Eating Tips

1 – Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2 – Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3 – If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4 – As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5 – Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6 – Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7 – If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8 – Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9 – Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10 – One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Thanks John 2

I have a cockpit cover that I use to protect the interior of the car when we leave the top down with boot on for extended periods of time (like during work.) It goes under the wipers in front, straps around the mirrors, a couple of elastic straps in the wheel wells and three tabs under the trunk lid. Works great. The only downside is that it was designed for the earlier cars. The 2001+ Miatas have taller seats, AKA surfboards, and they cause the cover to have to be stretched when it is on. Over the last year that stretching has caused the cover to start to rip near the center tab on the back. John Haff to the rescue. He has an industrial sewing machine and knows how to use it. John sewed the ripping seam and added a gusset for extra strength. While he was at it he made me a bag to keep it in and a fender cover out of the same car cover material he used as a patch/gusset. Thanks John.

Next time this starts to rip I may just go ahead and buy a new one. The Crazy Red Italian has a cover that fit over cars with rollbars, so I know they will fit over the surfboards.

Gift Giving Quandry

Every year the 4 or 5 people in the department gather their funds and jointly purchase a gift for their supervisor. Said supervisor is a car guy, he subscribes to all the magazines and can converse fluently in everything from family sedans to exotics. The past few years his minions have bought him car related items, because there is always something to choose from in their price range. Plus from lunch, break or pre-meeting conversations during the year, a gift idea is sure to present itself.

Since 1998 the supervisor has owned a Miata. Seeing as one of the supervisees also owned a Miata it was easy to gather good gift ideas for Christmas giving. For a little over a year this supervisor has been contemplating what most would consider a move up the sports car ladder and buying a 1998 Porsche Boxster. In spite of his misgivings about the car, it was black, it had a plastic rear window and the cost of repairs, he went ahead and bought the car this last August. The deal was too good to pass up, even though the car is 6 years old, it only has 11,000 miles on it, so for all practical purposes it is new.

Seeing as one of the supervisor’s main concerns was the care and feeding of the plastic window in the convertible top, this year’s group gift idea was born. They would purchase a window protection blanket sold by a dealer of all things Porsche for him to use during extended top down periods and when he puts the hard top on over the winter. The week of Thanksgiving the order was placed and the Friday after Turkey Day the gift was in hand.

The week after Thanksgiving our supervisor is printing out web pages and circling items for his wish list to be distributed to family members. He has printed out the pages from the same place the gift window protector came from, but it is not circled. When questioned why not, his response is he is not too sure it is really needed and if it is, he will just get a cheap piece of felt or something. Uh-oh, should our givers return the protector and rethink this year’s gift? Nah, figuring he is still going to use it if he gets it for free.

The first weekend in December the supervisor puts on the hard top. Monday morning he is explaining to the troops that he watched the back window fold up closely and it folds in such a way that the plastic is not touching itself or anything else when stowed. His concerns about scratching the plastic window are gone. Unfortunately, this causes concerns for our gift givers. Should they return the window protector now and get their money back, although the sum will be reduced by the return postage and restocking fees? Or should they stay the course, because their cause is true and he probably will use the thing because it cost him nothing?

I Don’t Get It

I got a piece of email at work that was forwarded from someone who always forwards this stuff, so I’m guessing this has been around the world a couple of times already.
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Which of these five lovelies had a breast implant?

Scroll down for the answer.

Nekkid Women

Scroll down for the answer.

Who gives a big Rat’s As^!
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I’m curious, who sends a picture of nude women in an email, but then substitutes a symbol for the second ‘s’ in the word ass? Were they afraid they would get in some sort of trouble for sending and email with a swear word in it?

A Letter From Santa

Dear Friends,

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with STD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing. The 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can’t read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year, I suggest you get your behinds down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.

Love,
Santa.