Life of Brian

I received this joke at work via email and it had the following preface: This has been nominated for best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

The bit about “best email of 2005” got me thinking, sounded to chain letterish to me. Enter “Ruin sorbees” in Google and got 1,320 hits, all referring to this joke. Some postings were dated in 1999 and one even mentions this making the rounds in 1997… The joke is pretty much word for word (if that is what you could call them), but the lead-ins differ slightly. Each one references it being published in the Far Eastern Economic Review, but search there for the same term gives zero results. A check of my usual myth-busting sites has no mention of this at all. I suspect it may be even older than that because it seems a little too unpolitically correct even for 1997. Anyway here you go…

(To get the full effect, this should be read aloud.)
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RS: Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh, yes, I’d like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow july den?
G: What?

RS: Ow july den – fry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like ’em? Scrambled please.

RS: Ow july dee baychem – crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: What?

RS: San toes. July san toes?
G: I don’t think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this,but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.

RS: Toes! Toes! Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: We boter?
G: No, just put the boter on the side.

RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter – just put it on the side.

RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?

RS: Copy…tea…mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.

RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we boter and honey sigh, and copy…rye??
G: Whatever you say.

RS: Tend jew berry mud.
G: You’re welcome.