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Bug Splat

Second Saturday in a Row

Wednesday, August 30, 2017


We have led a Masters Miata Club Event…this week was the annual Bug Splat.

When Donna and I put on this event for the very first time way back in 1999 I had devised it sort of like a rally style start, I would send each car out at 3 minute intervals to guarantee clean air in front of the cars for maximum exposure to bugs. When I tried that the next year everyone balked at it, so I handed out the maps and sent them all on their way. I had underestimated the Club’s love of driving all in one long line (which as it turns out is second only to the love of all eating at one long table no matter how big the group or small the venue.)

By the third year everyone wondered why Donna and I weren’t playing along. When I explained that we didn’t want to steal anyone’s chance at a prize, they all went, “Pshaw, you should have some of the fun too.” We have been leading the line of cars around the route ever since.

It took me a couple of years to figure out the group had ulterior motives for this. They just wanted someone to lead so they wouldn’t have look at a map and/or not get lost, but probably the most likely reason was to decrease their odds of winning the Biggest Bug Trophy which is so ugly it is kind of cool. You either love it or hate it, with the haters having the larger numbers.

As we were loading the trophy in the trunk to bring to the starting point on Saturday, Donna was looking over the list of names of those who have held it in the last 18 years and asked, “How come we haven’t ever won it?”

“Alexa: play ominous music”

That’s right, we won the trophy this year with a silver dollar size splat on the nose of the CTBNL right next to the Mazda logo.

Tagged: Masters Miata Club

Where The Bugs Are

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

This past Saturday was the Annual MMC Bug Splat Rally that Donna and I put on since 1999. Over the years we have noticed a steady decrease of bugs available for knocking out of the air with the fronts of Miatas. After the first 7 or 8 years we ran the same course up and over the dam at Clarks Hill. Since then we have moved the loop around to a couple other spots in the hopes of find a more dense insect environment. We haven’t had much luck. Every time we have a bug free or near bug free run, which seems common now, I say that maybe it is time to ask an bug expert where the bugs are.

Saturday was the clincher, so today I Googled “South Carolina Entomology” and it led me to the web site of the South Carolina Entomological Society. So I wrote an email to the President:

Rizana Mahroof,

Hello. My name is Brian Bogardus and I am a member of a car club located in the Central Savannah River Area that is centered around the Mazda Miata.

So why is a car club member writing to the President of the South Carolina Entomological Society you ask, it is about insect extermination. Specifically about killing bugs with the front of Miatas. For the past dozen years or so I have run an event called the Bug Splat Rally where the Club gathers in a spot somewhere in the CSRA, goes for a 40-50 mile drive in the summer evening/night and ends up at a Sonic for ice cream and the awarding of prizes.

When I first started doing this we would meet in Augusta, GA and drive up over Clarks Hill Dam and back into Augusta. After a few years it seemed like the amount of insects and their related death signatures decreased, so I started varying the start times and routes hoping to change that. The last 2 years we have met in North Augusta, looped up to Edgefield and then back to Exit 5 off I-20. While it was a lovely drive on back roads it left a lot to be desired in insect activity.

So, enough background, my question to you and/or your membership is, “When would be the best time of the year and the best time of day to do a back roads drive that would have the best chance for splatting big bugs on the noses of small sports cars?”

Regards,
Brian

Not long later I received a reply:

Hi Brian,

This rather an interesting perspective that I have not seen before. By any means it sounds like a successful 2-year event that attracted some people. Here are my views about where you may find highest numbers of insects.

1. Roads that goes through wilderness, marsh land, ponds or woods. If road goes through cultivated crop lands like corn, cotton or peanuts, these days we use mostly genetically modified varieties and crop varieties those are resistant to insect damage, you may not find lots of insects. Besides farmers spray agrochemicals to kill them too.

2.Summer is the best time where insects are active. Insects are cold-blooded creatures, they need optimum temperature for flight. When it starts to cool down, flight activity declines.

3. During the day insects do not fly much at peak sun hours or if the temperature is too high during mid day. Most of them fly when temperature in a day is optimum.

4. Some insects are called “nocturnal” like moths are active at night, dawn and dusk. They are attracted to beams of headlights and may be you can kill them easily.

5. Insects have certain period of life cycle, you will not find all types all the time, but at a given time there are plenty of them available. After all, they are the most successful organisms on the face of the planet.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Rizana Mahroof

Wow, thanks, but most of that stuff is not really news to me.
1. That is why I started with a loop around the lake. All the other routes we’ve changed to have been through 2-lane back roads. The farm info I hadn’t thought of before, but it is a non-issue around here.
2. This is why we run the event in August.
3. Start time has always been near dusk and
4. Finish is always after dark.
5. Don’t want all kinds, I’ll take any kind as long there are lots of them.

Maybe I should ask an exterminator…

Tagged: MMC

2014 Bug Splat

Monday, August 18, 2014

Bug Splat

When Donna and I ate at the Apizza di Napoli a week or so before the Bug Splat I told the owner that we would be there at 6:30 the following Saturday night and would probably bring about 15-20 people.

It dawned on me the day before the event that I had 6:00PM listed as the start time on the Club’s Calendar, so I called the restaurant just before I left work and spoke to one of the women who work there and said that the arrival time was really 6:00 not the previously stated 6:30 and that there would be 15 people, plus or minus 5.

Little did I know, that when relayed to the owner, the message became plus or minus 5 people would be attending. They tried to call me back at work for clarification, but I had already left. The owner is friends with the Prez so he called Larry and Larry told him it would be a lot more like 20 people showing up.

They set up three tables, two with 6 and one with 8, but that couldn’t contain us. We ended up filling nearly every table in the joint (except for the big one behind us that was reserved for a birthday party) and a couple booths as well with the 34(1) Club members who showed up.

On the drive our conga line of Miatas stretched as far as the eye could see. But most of the time I could only see about half of them in the rearview mirror because of all the turns and curves in the roads making it hard to ensure we were not losing anyone. Amazingly enough we stayed pretty much together for the whole 34 miles, through 18 turns (4 of them lefts) and 8 traffic lights with only an occasional non-Miata getting in line with us. The evening sky turned pretty colored and the temperature eased into the lower 80’s making for a very pleasant drive overall. The only thing that was not up to snuff about the rally was the lack of bugs.

I’ve lamented the lack of real bugs and/or their splats for the last few years and maybe this is just the old timer in me that thinks, “Back in my day the bugs were bigger and more plentiful,” but when the Biggest Bug Trophy goes to someone that has the 3/16″ long carcass of a mayfly stuck to their headlight, that would look small if it was stuck to the trophy itself (2), then the Miata Insect Killing World is going to heck in a hand basket.

The judging for Most, Fewest and Closest to the Dot prizes were based on the amount and location of nothing more than the small white puffs left behind by passing through a cloud of unseen and unknown species. Bob & Pat Tarrant won the Fewest Bug prize because their car was white making the little puffs seem nonexistent. Larry & Rita Garner nabbed the Most Bugs prize by virtue of their dark Montego Blue color car. Sue & Dave Woomer had a white puff smack in the middle of the green Avery dot on the nose of their car thereby taking home the Closest to the Dot Prize. The Woomers were also the owners of that small mayfly and as such have the honor of displaying the Biggest Bug Trophy on their fireplace mantle until next year.

Next year I am going to look into hiring some kids with a pickup truck to drive the route a few minutes ahead of us and have them toss handfuls of crickets and grasshoppers in the grass at certain intervals and maybe one or two Elephant Beetles for good measure.

1. That number is a guess from President Garner and does not reflect an actual count. I was told 13 cars did the drive, but this hearsay and not an actual count either. Let’s do some cipherin’ and see if we can make the math work. Assuming there were 13 cars on the drive that meant 25 people (one car had just a driver) dining. There were 2 couples in their OTMs as their Miatas were down for maintenance, this makes 29. There was another couple who dined only and then went home, making 31 people. But one car was a late arrival, so subtract 2, giving us only 29 Miatanites who ate at the restaurant. Not 34, but that’s closer than my guess of, “a lot.”

2. This in no way should be taken that I’m diminishing the skill and effort of the driver and navigator of said winning car in plucking this obviously very scarce insect from the air.

Tagged: Masters Miata Club

Not A Lot Of Bugs, But A Big Surprise

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Big Bug SlayerLast night was the 10th or 12th Master’s Miata Club Bug Splat that Donna and I have organized and while it won’t go down in history as a very buggy event, I predict it will be the most remembered.

We start at the south end of Whiskey Road in Aiken at the Red Bowl and finish up on the south end of Martintown Road in North Augusta at a Sonic. Both ends of the trip are definitely “in town”, but in between I try and get as rural as possible, both to avoid traffic and to increase insect impact chances.

Usually there are about 6 cars that show up, including us, so I printed out 8 maps in a fit of optimism. I should printed at least one more. We had nine cars run the route, including some brand new members, some hardly ever seen members and a previous member couple who had also previously won the Biggest Bug Trophy. But no worries, the maps are usually not used at all because Donna and I in the Emperor lead the train of cars along the route.

About half way through the trip, in the middle of a 3 mile section of a very backroad road I had to slow way down as there was a stopped vehicle in our travel lane. The 9 Miatas that started at about a 1/4 mile long line quickly tightened up because of the obstruction. As I got closer I could see that it was a PT Cruiser convertible with its top down. There was a man standing on the back seat facing the side of the road. At first I thought he was looking for a stray dog or something, so I checked the oncoming lane and proceeded to pass. As I started around I realized I was wrong, he was letting loose a mighty stream of urine out onto the side of the road.

Yes, you read that right, while his wife, girlfriend, possibly date sat in the passenger seat he decided to stand in the back of a PT Cruiser convertible and relieve himself.

Tagged: Masters Miata Club, Whatever, WTF

Bugs Were Splatted

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Sonic

(the Emperor got a bath in preparation.)

Tagged: Masters Miata Club, Miata Washings, Miatatude

Busy 2 Nights

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Last night was our Fantasy Football League draft. I made a suggestion to last years Commissioner about how it would be more fun if we could play everyone in our division twice. Because we all work in the same department it would be better for smack talk pre and post Sundays, so he made me Commissioner for this year.

Anyway, allow me to introduce the 2012 Purple Whales: Philip Rivers and Carson Palmer are my QBs, with LeSean McCoy, Ahmad Bradshaw, Willis McGahee, James Starks and Robert Turbin as Running Backs. Wide Outs are going to be Andre Johnson, Pierre Garcon, Malcom Floyd, Nate Burleson and Randy Moss. I also drafted Brandon Pettigrew & Jared Cook for Tight End with Kicker Rob Bironas and the San Francisco 49ers Defense/Special Teams.


Tonight was the Annual MMC Bug Splat Rally. For the second year in a row the squashed insects were few and far between. The Biggest Bug Trophy was awarded to a small flattened bug in the middle of a pop up headlight. Closest to the Target was awarded to a small smudge of a bug 1/2″ away from the green Avery dot. Three cars were tied for Cleanest Car, but I gave it to the newest members because one couple had won the last three years in a row and the third couple got the Most Bugs award because they showed up with cat paw prints on their hood.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran?si?tions since 10/24/08: 1170
Tagged: Fantasy Football, Masters Miata Club

Bugless Splat?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Saturday is the MMC’s Annual Bug Splat Rally and this year we have added an extra zig and corresponding zag to the route. Monday we ran about half of the route to see how the extra roads worked out and last night we ran the whole thing to make sure that my mileage numbers on the route map were correct. Before we started I didn’t really make sure the nose of the car was squeaky clean, but at the completion of both runs the nose of the Emperor did not have seem to have any real new splats on it. Maybe the very dry, very hot weather has really decreased the insect population around here.

There are 4 prizes up for grabs on the Bug Splat Rally, Biggest Bug (winner gets an awesome trophy), Closest To The Target, Most Bugs and Cleanest Car. If the insect total tomorrow is anything like this past Monday and Thursday one car could win those first three prizes and the rest of the participants will all be tied for the Cleanest Car Award.

Started up, went down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 1050
Tagged: Miatatude
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