Growing up I remember my mom watching the network evening news and getting so upset at whatever was happening in the country and world that she would literal shout out her disgust at Chet Huntley or David Brinkley or both. I remember thinking what good does that do?
Donna likes to watch the network evening news, so if I’m in the room, by proxy I do too. We watch ABC because she liked to watch Diane Sawyer when she was the anchor, but we are still watching ABC long after she is gone. Diane used to always start the program by saying, “BREAKING NEWS!” even though it was only breaking if you didn’t have access to a 24hr news channel or the internet. I think the breaking news qualifier for them could be added if it happened since their broadcast ended the night before.
When David Muir took over I was hoping that he would drop the charade, but no, he’s even amped it up a notch. Plus he has continued the ridiculous “the Index” feature, 4 or 5 stories hyped at every chance during the first 20 minutes of the broadcast. They are the television version of clickbait, eight to ten word headlines that make you want to find out what they are about. They are saved until near the end and you get one 10 second Index item followed by a minute and half of commercials for prescription drugs your insurance won’t cover the cost of. Then another tidbit and another 2 minutes of commercials, rinse and repeat until it is time to see what the daily lottery numbers are.
It used to be just watch the show and listen with 1/4 of our concentration letting the news wash over us, but since what’s his name took over the news cycle over a year ago, that has been impossible. We don’t shout at the TV, but Donna has taken to sighing a lot and I cussing non-verbally in my mind. Now that the hirsute yellow-fin tuna has taken office Donna’s sighing is becoming words of disbelief and I’ve started muttering incoherently. It is only a matter of time until one of us turns into my mother and starts shouting at the TV.
I’m hear to tell you, it won’t be me. From now on if I join her on the couch anytime between 6:30 and 7:00 PM I will have my headphones on listening to Radio Paradise and staring at my Kindle.