Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

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How Was Your Day?

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept peo­ple who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was stand­ing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.”

The man said, “Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was hav­ing an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apart­ment but couldn’t find him any­where. So I went out onto the bal­cony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hang­ing over the edge by his fin­ger­tips. I went inside, got a ham­mer, and started hit­ting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrig­er­a­tor and pushed it over the bal­cony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died.”

St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of pas­sion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. “Well, sir, it was awful,” said the sec­ond man. “I was doing aer­o­bics on the bal­cony of my 26th floor apart­ment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I man­aged to grab the bal­cony of the apart­ment below, but some maniac came out and started pound­ing on my fin­gers with a ham­mer. Luck­ily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrig­er­a­tor on me!”

St. Peter chuck­led, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

Tell me about the day you died?”, he said to the third man in line.

OK, pic­ture this; I’m naked, hid­ing inside a refrigerator…”

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