Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

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That Was Unexpected

Not too long ago we finally replaced our old warhorse of an elec­tric fry­ing pan. Because it is just the two of us we didn’t need any­thing too big, so we bought the only option we had in a 12″ square size. It pre­formed won­der­fully and the only prob­lem is the mark­ings on the tem­per­a­ture dial didn’t last very long. After slightly over­cook­ing some­thing the week­end before last I surfed over to the manufacturer’s web site look­ing for pic­ture of the dial so I could take a felt tip pen and crudely recre­ate the mark­ings. Not find­ing any help on the site, there is only one image of the thing on there, I found the con­tact page and left a note explain­ing my predica­ment ask­ing for a photo of the dial.

Dear Brian,

Thank you for con­tact­ing Oster, a brand of Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions. We apol­o­gize for any incon­ve­nience you have expe­ri­enced with your SH12 and will be happy to help you.

Please respond via email with the exact date of pur­chase and a code located on the bot­tom of the unit or engraved on the out­side of the metal prongs you plug into the wall to give the unit power. The metal prongs are located on the end of the power cord. This code should begin with one let­ter, fol­lowed by three numbers.

We appre­ci­ate your busi­ness and are happy to help if you have any fur­ther questions.

Sin­cerely,
Jen­nifer
Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions
www.oster.com

I espe­cially like that they told me where to find those tricky metal prongs you plug into the wall. I write back:

Jen­nifer,

I have no earthly idea when the unit was pur­chased, I am not expect­ing a replace­ment under war­ranty, I would just like a high res­o­lu­tion or spec draw­ing of the tem­per­a­ture dial so I can remake my exist­ing unit.

The num­ber engraved on the plug is “A201J”.

The label on the under­side of the power sec­tion reads:
Model: TKSP-S008A-10
125Vac 60Hz 15A
E81296 (SP)
MADE IN CHINA P.N. 128149

Thanks for any help you can give me,
Brian

The next day I get this reply:

Dear Brian,

Thank you for con­tact­ing Mr. Cof­fee, a brand of Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions. We apol­o­gize for any incon­ve­nience you have expe­ri­enced with your skil­let and will be happy to help you.

We do have replace­ment options avail­able for your SH12. Although we appre­ci­ate your will­ing­ness to repair the unit, we can­not send out inter­nal com­po­nents for both lia­bil­ity issues as well as cer­tain patent con­cerns as many of our parts and schemat­ics are con­sid­ered pro­pri­etary com­pany information.

Again, we do have replace­ment options avail­able for your SH12. If you would like to dis­cuss these options, please con­tact us at our toll-free num­ber 1–800-334‑0759. For your con­ve­nience we are avail­able 9:00 am to 6:00 pm Mon­day — Fri­day, EST. Please have your elec­tric skil­let avail­able when you call

Again, I apol­o­gize for any incon­ve­nience. We appre­ci­ate your busi­ness and are happy to help if you have any fur­ther questions.

Sin­cerely,

Holly
Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions
www.oster.com

At first I was a lit­tle miffed at the direc­tion this was tak­ing and then I noticed my poorly worded request. So I try one last time to get across that I just want a pic­ture of the dial:

Holly, Jen­nifer or any other ran­dom CSR who gets this,

I believe I was mis­un­der­stood in my pre­vi­ous email because I said remake when I actu­ally meant to say remark.

I just want an image of the tem­per­a­ture con­trol dial so I can remark with a pen the miss­ing set­tings, allow­ing me to be able tell what tem­per­a­ture I have it set at. I am not inter­ested in a replace­ment part because it will, with ship­ping, han­dling and tax, prob­a­bly end up cost­ing more than if I were to drive to my near­est Wal­mart and pur­chase a whole new skil­let. Which is exactly what I am going to do if you can not sup­ply me with a pic­ture, cat­a­log image or hand sketch of said dial. And you can take a pretty good guess as to which brand I won’t include in my deci­sion making.

Thanks in advance for your con­sid­er­a­tion in this manner,

Brian
Frus­trated Con­sumer
www.mr-miata.net

Fig­ur­ing that I was going to get another polite email sug­gest­ing I call about replace­ment parts, I was totally floored with their reply the next day:

Dear Brian,

Thank you for con­tact­ing Oster, a brand of Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions. We apol­o­gize for any incon­ve­nience you have expe­ri­enced with your SH12 and will be happy to help you.

Unfor­tu­nately, we do not have a scan to send you or a replace­ment tem­per­a­ture con­trol. There­fore, I have placed an order for a SH12 that you will receive within 2–3 weeks.

You will receive an order con­fir­ma­tion, shortly as well as a ship­ping con­fir­ma­tion when our item leaves our warehouse.

Again, I apol­o­gize for any incon­ve­nience. We appre­ci­ate your busi­ness and are happy to help if you have any fur­ther questions.

Sin­cerely,

Holly
Jar­den Con­sumer Solu­tions
www.oster.com

Thanks Holly/Jarden Con­sumer Solutions/Oster/Mr. Cof­fee, really nice way to turn a pos­si­bly crummy sit­u­a­tion into a win for everybody.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Tran­si­tions since 10/24/08: 414

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