Sturgeon’s Law

Ninety per­cent of every­thing is crap.


Derived from a quote by sci­ence fic­tion author Theodore Stur­geon, who once said, “Sure, 90% of sci­ence fic­tion is crud. That’s because 90% of every­thing is crud.” Oddly, when Sturgeon’s Law is cited, the final word is almost invari­ably changed to ‘crap’.

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The Golden Screw

Once upon a time, a young lad was born with­out a belly but­ton. In its place was a golden screw. All the doc­tors told his mother that there was noth­ing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it.

All the years of grow­ing up was real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leav­ing his house and thus, never made any friends. One day, a mys­te­ri­ous stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet that could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled.

The next day he took all of his life’s sav­ings and bought a ticket to Nepal. After sev­eral days of climb­ing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come.

He was told to sleep in the high­est tower of the monastery and the fol­low­ing day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed. The man imme­di­ately went to the room and fell asleep.

Dur­ing the night while he slept, a pur­ple fog floated in an open win­dow, bear­ing in its mist, a golden screw­driver. In just moments, the screw-driver removed the screw and dis­ap­peared out the window.

The next morn­ing when the man woke, he saw the golden screw lay­ing on the pil­low next to him. Reach­ing down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there! Jubi­lant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.

The moral to this is, “Don’t screw around with things you don’t under­stand — you could lose your ass.”

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